Nothing To Stay For
by PeaceRoseG'ladheon
Summary: After Last Sacrifice, Rose, feeling rejected and unwanted, runs away from Court. She cuts off any contact with her friends and family, disappearing without a trace. And now the only man who can bring her back is the one who found her the first time...
1. Escape

**After The Last Sacrifice, all charges have been dropped against her, and she is released from prison. But Rose can never be Lissa's guardian, and Dimitri doesn't love her any more. She runs away from the Court, and the only person who can bring her back is the person who was able to do it the first time.**

**For anyone who has read _Assassination, _this is sort of a 'what would happen if Rose hadn't ended up with Dimitri.' For the rest of you who haven't, it doesn't matter at all. You'll know what's going on :) **

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RPOV:

With a deep sigh, I grab the doorknob and slowly push the door open. Stark and empty. What I had once viewed as freedom, I now regarded as enclosure. Just another cell to be held in. And for what? I can never be Lissa's guardian. I can never ruin Adrian's future. A royal Moroi could never be involved with someone suspected of murdering the Queen. I don't love him enough to spend the rest of my life with him, and I love him far too much to ever have a serious with him. God, my head was aching.

And Dimitri. _Love fades, mine has. _At one time, I had thought that we were meant to be together. I had thought I had to choose between him and Lissa, the two very pieces of my life, and I couldn't decide. Now, I had lost them both. My whole life had fallen apart. I had nothing left.

I hadn't seen either since the trial, where I had been dismissed of all charges. Tasha had framed me.

She had done it to keep the Queen out of the way, to make sure that she wouldn't interfere with Tasha's plans to save the sophomores. Although her intentions had been good, her actions had resulted in the murder of the Queen. And me, being hot-tempered and already known for having a bad relationship wiht the Queen, had been the perfect target.

And now I was an outcast. An embarrassment to the Guardian world. The last time I had felt this helpless, I had been desperate to get Lissa out of the academy. I had left, run away from danger and fear.

I start into the room, quickly reaching under the bed and pulling out my worn duffelbag, and begin to shove essentials into it. Jeans, t-shirts, heavy to light jackets, all the cash that I had. The jewellry that I had saved that strigoi Dimitri had given me. My sneakers, and sweatpants, and an old ball cap.

Although it was hard to part with some of my old things, I need to move on. So I left behind the photo of me and Lissa at Halloween, along with my Nazaar, and Adrian's credit card. I wanted to take it, but cards can be traced.

I wanted a clean slate, but I couldn't help but scribble out a few letters to those of my past. Lissa, my mom, my dad, Adrian, Eddie, even Christian. I slipped the photo into Lissa's envelope, folded up Abe's scarf, and dropped my mom's nazaar into hers.

Without looking back, I throw my duffelbag over my shoulder, and leave my old life behind.

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**I know it's short, but don't worry, future chapters won't be as short as this. This is just a preview! I don't own VA!**

**Please review!**


	2. Left Behind

I wait anxiously, really wishing I had a source of cash. Adrian's debit card. I wouldn't use it anymore, I promised myself. Cards can be traced, and I knew Adrian wouldn't hesitate to. So I left it behind, not to tempt myself to use it. I pick up my duffel bag from the linoleum floor, and step up to the front desk.

A young human girl with long, red acrylic nails smiles at me. "How can I help you?"

"I need a ticket to Moscow."

She raises an over-plucked brow. "Okay..." Her nails strike against the keyboard at a rapid pace.

"Is cash okay?"

Her eyes widen in shock, slowly nodding. I hand her the bundle of bills. I had used Adrian's debit card only to get the cash for the ticket, and that's it. I couldn't take too much too soon. I hoped that Adrian might not realize that I had taken that much money for a plane ticket. At least not until I was safely out of the country where he couldn't find me.

"Thanks," I mumble as she hands me my ticket.

I was going to Russia. I couldn't go visit Dimitri's family, because they would surely tell Lissa or Abe. I was going to Russia because it was the only other place that I had felt was my home.

Unfortunately, I had to wait three hours until my flight. If Lissa realized I was gone, it would give her plenty of time to find me. Especially with Abe's connections.

So I go to the washroom, slipping into the largest stall, and sit on the floor. Leaning my head against the wall, I close my eyes and slip into Lissa's head.

...

Lissa was laying on the couch, Christian lying beside her, his head resting on her stomach while she stroked his hair.

"I know," she soothed. "I'm so sorry, Christian. I'll always be here for you."

When the Guardian's finally discovered Tasha was the true murderer of the Queen, she didn't give up without a fight. Unfortunately, this is what had ended her life. Christian had taken it extremely hard, with her being the only family he had left.

He pushed himself up, his bloodshot eyes meeting hers. "I love you, Liss. How did you do this? How could you lose all of your family?"

Lissa gives him a sad smile, a pang of grief running through her. "Because. I had Rose to help me through it. And you have me."

He returns her grief-filled look, but lays back down beside her.

"So?" he finally says. "Do you think Guardian Belikov has finally given up and went to see Rose?"

She freezes. "You..."

He smiles. "Yeah, I think he will, too."

Lissa relaxes, sinking back into the sofa. "He really loves her. God, it tore him apart when she was in jail. I hope he went to see her."

A loud knock echoes through the room, and Lissa and Christian don't move. "Come in!" Liss calls.

"Dimitri?"

"Guardian Belikov," Christian nods, rising to a sitting position.

Dimitri looks a little sheepish. "Christian. Princess. I was...wondering. Have you seen Rose? She's not answering the door. Or her phone."

Lissa smiles at his attempts, then freezes. "She's not in her room?"

"Or the cafe."

Some distant part of...my...mind registers Lissa's calling. _Rose, where are you? Rose answer your phone! I'm getting worried..._

With a nod from Liss, Dimitri pulls out his phone and dials Rose's, _my, _number. Back in my own body, I can hear the vibration of the phone. "She's still not picking up."

Lissa bites her lip in worry. Christian immediately takes her hand. "She probably just wants to be alone for a little while."

Dimitri looks pained. "Maybe she justdoesn't want to talk to me?" He says.

Lissa stands up. "I'm going to go check on her."

When the three of them reached my room, Lissa knocked loudly.

"Rose! Rose let me in, come on!"

Nothing.

"Rose, _please, _you're really scaring me!"

Nothing.

"Rose! Rose please, open the door! Roza, please, just open the door!" Dimitri called. Again, no answer. He cursed in Russian.

"Roza, I will break down the door!"

"Do it," Lissa encourages.

Dimitri steps back, tensing, then rears back and smashes his foot into the door. Being the Russian God he is, he only needs one kick to break the lock. The door swings open to reveal my unnaturally neat room.

They all rush in, and Lissa spies the envelopes on the bed. "Oh God."

She rips open her envelope, reading out loud.

"_Dear Liss, I'm sorry I have to do this, but I have to leave. I love you, Liss, but this is for the best. You won't have to be associated with a suspected murderer... _Oh God oh God oh God!"

She drops the letter and falls into Christian's arms. "She can't leave again! She can't leave me again!"

Dimitri is silent, flipping through the envelopes, reading the titles on each.

Lissa turns to him. "What does yours say?" she asks, tears running down her face.

Dimitri looks up, giving her a look that I recognized as him trying to be strong, trying not to cry.

"She didn't leave me one."

...

I slide back into my own body, haunted by the look on Dimitri's face.

"-call, boarding flight 67 to Moscow."

I jump up, grabbing my bag, and dash to my gate. I am the last one to board as I rush onto the plane.

Flopping down in my seat, I tried to resist the urge to check my phone.

_Stop! If you get a message from Lissa, you'll want to go crawling back. _

But no harm done if I just see if I have any messages, right? So I pull out my phone.

_3 New Voicemails_

"Excuse me?" I look up at flight attendant with a phosphorescent smile. "You're going to have to turn your phone off."

I glare at her and press my finger against the end button. The flight attendant waited for the electronic chime to leave, smirking at me. I had a _long_ flight ahead of me.

The feeling of loss was just starting to creep over me. I was losing every thing, my best friend, my sort of ex-boyfriend, the man who I thought was the love of my life, my mom, my new-found father. Everyone.

Before I knew it, tears were sliding down my cheeks, and I tried to hide my face. I had nowhere to go, nothing to do. I was alone. Completely alone. And I was only eighteen. I had very little cash, and a debit card that I would have to destroy. I needed to get a job, which wouldn't be easy when I couldn't speak Russian.

I was screwed.

I wanted nothing more than to show up on the Belikovs' doorstep, to throw my arms around them and let them take me in. But then they would tell Dimitri, and he would tell Lissa, and than neither one of us could move on. I wanted her to be happy, not to be burdened by my reputation. Even Dimitri had made it clear that it was too painful to be around me, that he didn't love me anymore.

So, I was moving on, and letting everyone else move on, too.

But I wasn't quite ready. Not yet. Just one quick look.

And with that, I slip into Lissa's head.

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**Thanks for reading! Please review!**


	3. Cheap Motel

**I AM SO SORRY! *cowers in shame* I couldn't update! Not my fault, I swear! I won't leave you this long again, I swear!**

**As for the last two chapters, I'm sorry if they had tons of mistakes and were poorly written. I did both of them really fast. I'm improving, don't worry! **

**Anyways, taking suggestions on how to make it up to you guys...**

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"Do you care to explain to me how my _eighteen-year-old daughter _was able to _walk _out of Court without anyone being notified?" Abe demands, his eerily calm exterior forgotten.

"She's eighteen!" A Guardian twice his size replies lazily. "Besides, it's not our job to keep Dhampirs _in _Court. We're preoccupied trying to keep the undead _out." _

Abe huffs and turns back to them, rolling his eyes. Lissa bites her lip, trying to hold back tears, Christian's arms around her waist.

"Where _is _she?" My mom cries. Everyone pauses. Janine Hathaway doesn't have any emotions but anger. But here she was, brows furrowed, face soft. Abe steps up, enclosing her in his embrace and resting his chin on the top of her head.

She doesn't hesitate to lean into him. "Shhh..." he soothes.

Dimitri just stands alone, his face hard and expressionless although his eyes were filled with emotion.

"Where would she go?" Mom asks. "She doesn't have anywhere to go! She doesn't have any money, or-"

Lissa's face lights up. "Adrian's debit card! Did she withdraw cash before she left?"

"Who has my debit card?" They all turn to see Adrian saunter towards them, a lazy smile on his face.

"Rose. She's missing. She doesn't have any money, but she might have used your debit card before she left it," Lissa explains. "Can you trace it?"

Adrian pales, even more so than normal, and nods. "Yeah- yeah. I've got my information back at my room."

Even though he says no more, all five of them follow Adrian to his luxorious apartment.

Adrian unlocks the door, and immediately disappears into the bedroom. Christian's hand is entwined with Lissa's, and Abe's arms remained around my mom. They all take a seat at the island counter in the kitchen, while Dimitri stands off to the side, silent.

After several moments, Adrian returns, balancing a phone between his shoulder and ear and flipping through papers.

"Yes," he says into the phone. "Yeah, I want to check my recent activity. The last 24 hours." Everyone is still, waiting, praying.

When he curses, they all seem to sink into themselves. Adrian slams the phone down on the counter.

"An ATM. She withdrew a little over a thousand dollars at an ATM in the Court. Did she take the card?"

Lissa shakes her head. "No, she left it behind." Liss reaches into her bag and pulls out the letter that I have left for Adrian, along with those belonging to my parents. When my Mom finshes her letter, her lips are pursed, eyes watering, while Abe is mumbling something about 'losing her already."

Adrian squeezes his eyes shut. "I need a drink."

"Why would she only take out a thousand dollars?" My mom asks desperately. "She can't live on that! She'll end up on the streets! She'll end up working for some strip club or...or _worse." _She bites her lip in worry.

"Janine, our girl is smart. She'll be fine. She's not a bloodwhore," Abe assures. Lissa's eyes wander to Dimitri, who looks like he's about to be sick at the very thought of my mom's words coming true.

I can't take it anymore. I jerk out of Lissa's head, tears streaming down my own face. I quickly wipe them away, using the back of my sleeve. A rapid string of Russian is announced over the intercom, followed by English.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, we will be arriving in Moscow in twenty minutes, please fasten your seatbelts and prepare for landing."

...

A couple of hours later, I was out on the streets of Moscow, greeted by the crisp night air. I knew that I desperately needed to find somewhere with internet. A cafe, or a library. It was already dark out, any chance of even finding one that was open would be a long shot.

Luckily, I was able to get directions from someone on the street. The library, just as everything here was, was beautiful. It was completely white, with scalloped arches that reached upwards, and thick, stone steps. I managed to slip just inside the doors into the warmth when a woman came down the hall.

Her tone was formal and polite, but when I shook my head, confused at the language, she seemed annoyed. "The library is closing."

"Please," I beg. "I'll just be a few minutes. Please?"

She sighs, hesitates, and nods, letting me through. The place is deserted, the tall shelves leaving trailing shadows. I quietly sit at one of the computer desks. I needed a resume, a job, seeing as I only had a few dollars left.

I made up a few jobs, feeling slightly guilty, but what's another lie at this point? I couldn't exactly put "Guardian for Vampires" on my resume. I did add in my 'martial arts' training, though, as well as numerous other things. When I was done printing a stack of them, I thanked the librarian and made my way back outside.

Step two was finding somewhere to stay for the night. A cheap motel was hidden in the crevice of a dark neighbourhood, only the _o _and the _l _still aglow. It advertises 700 rubles a night, roughly 25 American dollars.

"Can I pay at the end of the week?" I ask, and the greasy receptionist nods, handing me my key. He runs a hand over his head, the hair pulled tight into a slick ponytail. I can feel his eyes on my as I grab my duffel bag off of the floor, throwing it over my shoulder. The farther down the hallway I get, the more tense I become. The place is dirty, dust and grit piled in the corners, paint peeling off of the walls.

My room is at the very end of the hall, and I have to throw myself against the door to even get it to open. The room is musky and dark, the wood chipping, paint peeling, and glass cracking. A small cot is folded in the corner, and the bed looks like they haven't washed the sheets in years. I refrain from gagging, and throw my stuff onto the floor, pulling out the cot from the corner.

Laying down, I curl myself into a small ball. _This is for the best. This is so your reputation doesn't shadow Lissa's future. She'll do great things._

But as I beg for sleep, and realize it won't come, I find myself wishing that I had someone here, someone I knew, just so I wasn't completely alone.

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**I'll make up for my absence! Just tell me how to make it up to you ;)**


	4. Jobless

"And you don't speak Russian?" asks the woman, raising a hair-line brow.

I flinch. "Well...no..."

She nods, and puts down my resume, sliding it across the desk. "I'm sorry, but we don't have any positions available at the moment-"

I sigh and rise from the stool, nodding to the woman. "Thanks anyways."

My last resort. I had pretty much failed the interviews, feeling under qualified and hopeless. _You don't know the city very well? You can't speak Russian? You don't own your own transportation? _

I shuffle out of the old diner, hands shoved into my pockets. My mind wanders to Lissa as I step into the streets, what she's doing, how she's coping.

_Stop it. Stop missing her. You ran away for a reason. Suck it up and get over it. _

But I've spent the last thirteen years with Lissa. Forgetting her was not going to be easy.

And why was someone I've only known for less than two years on my mind as much as my best friend? Or more? He didn't even love me, right? He didn't care. And I couldn't let him go. _A lovesick teenager. _That was all I was.

Although I long to just slip into Lissa's head, ease my homesickness, I refuse. I have to _let go. _Lissa's better off without my reputation. Dimitri's better off without me reminding him off what happened to him. Adrian's better off, with his father, with the rest of the royal world, without me tagging along. I had let everyone down. Disappearing is the least I could do.

But my self-moving fingers slid into my jacket pocket, taking out my phone and turning it on.

_21 new voice mails_

_28 missed messages_

I am so tempted to listen to the familiar voices, to read my messages, but I can't. I won't let myself. I can't. I won't.

So I walk, completely alone, back to my empty, gritty motel room. No job, no purpose, no friends, nothing.

"_NO!" _

I freeze. Did I really just hear that? The pulse of the music in a nearby club pounds in my ear, and I stop on the sidewalk.

"Please, please, _please!" _

Humans crowd the streets, laughing drunkenly, their dull ears not detecting any sound but the electronic beat.

So I slip down an alley, between two nightclubs, my hand instinctively sliding towards my stake, concealed in my pocket.

"No! _Please! _Leave me alone! Please just leave me alone..." A voice sobs and moans.

With a deep breath, I run full speed into the back of the side street. Through the shaded moonlight, I can make out a shape, huddled, shaking.

I immediately drop to my knees beside her. "Hey, hey it's alright," I soothe.

The girl lifts her head. She's human, with long blond hair, and mascara-stained cheeks, her eyes caked with eyeliner and eyeshadow. She looks so much like Lissa I want to cry. She is wearing a _very _short, clingy red dress that plunges downwards in the front. Her chin is quivering, her whole body shakes. Her eyes are wide and foggy. She's in shock.

"What happened?" I asked softly. Her eyes flutter and her head rolls back, hitting the brick wall behind her.

"No-" I start, reaching towards her. That is, until, I see the smear of red that flows from her neck. _Oh God. _

"What do we have here?" rasps a voice from behind me. I jump up, but not before I feel a pair of ice cold hands around my neck. _Broken neck, instant death. _

I gasp for air, shoving my elbow into his gut. He grunts, and ever so slightly loosens his grip. I take this moment to reach into my pocket and pull out my stake, before the strigoi tightens his grip. I shoot my hand backwards, waving the stake wildly as the darkness at the edge of my vision begins to grow. I can feel the lack of oxygen, weakening my muscles. I gasp and fight, until finally, _finally, _my stake streaking across what I assumed to be his cheek.

He cries out and releases me, and I collapse onto the pavement, gasping desperately for air, every part of me shaking. I shakily rise to my feet, baring my stake. The man hisses a curse at me, a gash deep in his temple, running down to his jaw.

He starts forward and I drop, rolling off to the side. Pushing myself onto my hands and the tips of my feet, I pounce, jumping on him, shoving him into the brick wall. He manages to turn and grab the front of my shirt, trying to reach my neck.

I am panting sweating, trying to maneuver my stake. With one last act of desperation, I shove my fist into his stomach, then, when he leans forward, I bring my stake up, piercing his heart.

We both slide onto the ground. I choke and cough, allowing the flow of air back into my lungs. The burning pain in my throat subsides, and I slowly roll onto my stomach and crawl towards the girl.

She's unconcious, leaning off to the side. A shake her gently, then with a little more force. Nothing. A look over at the body of the strigoi behind me, then repress a shudder, reaching into my pocket, I pull out my phone and call the only person I know can help me.

"Sydney? Hey, it's Rose."

...

I flop down onto the tiny cot, kicking out of my shoes. I am stiff and sore, my whole body aching. I curl up onto the bed, fully clothed, and let sleep take me.

My world is dark until I suddenly awaken. Except I'm in my old room. At the Court.

"Little Dhampir," a voice booms from behind me. "You've got some serious explaining to do."

I groan. "Adrian, leave me alone."

"When have I ever quit, Rose?"

I sigh loudly and spin to face Adrian, who looks as amazing as always. "Where the hell have you been?" he asks, his calm, lazy exterior showing through, but his whole body tense and pained.

"I'm letting you move on. All of you."

He groans loudly. "_Rose,"_

"No!" I intrrupt. "It's true! Lissa could be _Queen! _She doesn't need my reputation bringing her down. Neither do you! Dimitri can't even look at me! My parents barely know me! What? What do I have to stay for?" I am yelling now, because I would rather be angry then crying.

"That's what you think?" he shouts back. "That we'd all be better without you? Lissa's a mess, you'd know that if you'd check your damn phone! Or the bond! Your parents are worried sick! And Belikov! God, Belikov is falling apart, Rose! He misses you, he loves you to death! I swear to God, you're going to make that man age before his time with the stress you cause him. And believe me, with the age difference, he really doesn't need the extra years-"

"_Adrian!" _I shout. "_Shut UP!" _

"Not until you come back!" He yells in return.

"LEAVE!" I scream. "I HATE YOU! GET THE HELL OUT AND LEAVE ME ALONE! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! LEAVE!"

I reach for a pillow, a lamp, anything to throw at him, but suddenly, the room is empty, sparse, barren.

Adrian stiffens, giving me a cold, deadly look. "Fine. Goodbye, Rose."

And he vanishes, leaving me to collapse onto the ground, sobbing, rocking myself, trying to soothe the pain, the _loss, _that is all consuming.

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**Thank you so much for your reviews! They never go unappreciated!**


	5. Do You Know The Enemy?

**I know this one's short, but I typed this fast. Hey, a short chapter is better than no chapter, right? ...Maybe? Please review! :)**

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I take a swig of water, my eyes never leaving the man in the corner. His arm rests on the wall above the girl, leaning towards her, talking to her. She is completely oblivious to his..._immortality. _To my surprise, she's a dhampir, but she doesn't appear to be a bloodwhore. Not that I had a clear view of her.

Every once and a while, he will shift, just in a way that I catch a glipse of his face. Something about him seems familiar to you. Something I can't quite put my finger on.

Once again, I was back at the clubs, staking out for strigoi. I had no job, no money, nothing. So this was now how I occupied my time. Hunting.

Fortunately, back at the academy, I didn't have to train in a dress. I brought only one, throwing it into my suitcase, just in case, and am definately regretting it.

It's the black dress. _The _black dress. And I can't help but think of _that night, _and I instantly want to run home and protect Lissa. And then I think of the lust charm, and I want to run home and throw my arms around him.

Suddenly, the strigoi straightens, placing his hand on the small of her back and begins to lead her through the crowd. _Showtime..._

I stay a safe pace behind them, trying to blend in to the crowd. Couples grind and sway to the electronic pulse, their bodies moving in sync. I slip around the dancers, determined to reach the two before he can even touch her. But people move and twist, and I am quickly left behind in the sea of dhampirs, Moroi, and humans. When the strigoi and the young girl reach the side wall, the strigoi glances around before grabbing the girl and shoving her out of the side door.

The familiar ache runs through me. The need to protect. I supress it, at least long enough to wait two heartbeats before following them out the door, pushing couples out of the way.

When I step out the door, he's already drinking, his hands holding the girl up. She is slumped against him, her body limp with endorphins and blood loss.

"Hey," I call, watching as he spins to face me. "At least pick on someone who can put up a fight."

He stares, wide-eyed, before his mouth shifts into a cold grin. He drops the girl, and she immediately slides to the gritty ground.

The strigoi steps up quickly, and we circle. He lunges, and I jump out of the way. The man spins and catches me around the waist, plowing me back into the brick wall behind me.

My head cracks against the wall, causing my vison to blur. But even as I loose focus, I realize that the strigoi looks incredibly familiar. I roll out of the way when his fist shoots towards me, out of the blackness. Several of the bricks crack under the force of his knuckles. He curses, following me along the wall. His hand reaches for me, but I dart away, but not before he grabs my ponytail and tugs out the elastic band.

He sucks in a deep breathe, smirking. I kick out, hitting him in the stomach. The strigoi stumbles back, but seems to rebound off of the wall, flying at me so fast I barely have time to move.

I duck to the side, but he fists his hands in my hair and throws me against the other end of the alley. My heart is a jack hammer, pounding against my ribcage.

And he's there, his hands on my hips, a dangerous glint in his eye. He leans towards my neck, thirst clearly written on his face. I slip my hands between us, both palms holding the dangerous silver, and shove myself against him, pushing the stake into his chest. He lets out a strangled cry and drops like a stone. I study his face. Familiar. _So _familiar.

"Who _are _you?" I ask him, although he cannot answer me. His hair is dark, his lips cracked open, blood smeared around his mouth.

After several moments to catch my breath, I turn back to the young, unconcious girl. Her hair is dark and messy, hanging like a sheet over her face and neck. I kneel beside her, pulling her hair off of her shoulder.

Several marks litter her neck, but she has no where near the amount that a blood whore would. I judge she's about seventeen. She moans and her turns her head to the side, her hair falling away from her face.

I stare in disbelief. It all comes back, and I suddenly know where I've seen the strigoi's face before. A little under a year ago. Before the murder, before the whole Dimitri thing, before the trials. I recognize the face. Rolan.

I turn back, gently shaking the girl's shoulders, careful not to let her head hit the wall behind her. "Viktoria. Wake up."

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**Dramatic ending! Dun dun duhh... **

**Don't know if you all saw that coming or not, but I didn't. Just kind of fell into my lap ;)**

**Please review!**


	6. Love Bites

"Viktoria. Wake up."

She doesn't even stir. "Viktoria, please wake up."

Nothing. But I needed to get her out of here.

With a groan, I slide my arms under her, grunting as I take on her weight. I strain her upwards, and stumble out onto the streets.

I had no idea how I was going to hail a cab with an extra hundred ten pounds in my arms. But luckily, an orange taxi pulls over next to the sidewalk, and a burly man steps out to open the door for me, watching me in surprise.

I flop Viktoria into the pleather seats, sliding in beside her. The driver gets into the front, his eyes wide in the rearview mirror.

Thinking fast, I look down at Viktoria's party dress, and smile at the man. "Sorry about this. My friend completely passed out! I _told _her not to drink those last shots.

The man eyes her forehead, then trails his eyes over me. I look down, and realize my face is smeared with blood. I try to make my tone light and airy.

"Oh God, I'm going to kill her if I can't clean this dress. Of course, she had to pass out and smash her head on the bar!" I laugh nervously.

"Is she going to be alright?" he asks, his accent thick.

I smile again, although I cannot answer truthfully, because I don't really know the answer.

"Yeah," I lie. "Once the hangover passes, of course. You'd be surprised how much this happened."

He nods, and I give him the address of the motel.

Viktoria doesn't stir the entire ride, and still remains unconcious as we pull up the the front doors. I'm worried as hell.

"Do you need help?" he asks, and I shake my head, not wanting him to see get even more suspicious.

I pay him, trying not to wince as I give away my last few dollars, and grab Viktoria, staggering back to my room.

I have to put her down to kick my door open, but manage to get her inside and lay her down on the cot. I peel off her bloodied dress, and slide on one of my own t-shirts.

I sit beside Dimitri's youngest sister, gently brushing the hair from her face.

"What happened to you, Viktoria?" I whisper to her, although she cannot hear. How had she ended up with Rolan?

I strip off my own dress, holding it in my hands for an extra moment. The dark material mostly hid the stains, and I filled up the dirty sink and tossed it in, reluctant to let go of the dress, or the memory of the lust charm, however much I _should _want to forget it.

Exhaustion finally begins to take over, and I curl up on the floor, unwilling to sleep on the disgusting bed.

...

I awake to the sound of hyperventalation.

"Viktoria?"

"_Rose?" _

I jump up, rushing to her side. She sits up on the cot, shaking.

"Rose, where are we? Why are you here?"

"Shhh..." I soothe. "It's alright. It's alright. Viktoria... Rolan's dead. I staked him."

I wait for her to scream, to yell, to attack me. Instead, she throws herself into my arms and begins to sob.

"Oh, Rose, you were right all along. You were right! I'm so sorry about what I said! I'm so sorry!"

I wrap my arms around her, still shocked. "Viktoria, how did you end up here? What happened?"

She sniffs and pulls away from me. "A few months ago, my... my family found out about Rolan. I hadn't seen him since..._that night._ And they freaked out on me! And I... I ran away."

I sigh. "Oh, Viktoria..."

"I know!" she sobs. "But I loved him, Rose! And he... he took me to Moscow. But one night, he just didn't come home! And then, it was three days later, and he came home. I was asleep, and... I just... he had red eyes... but I was half-asleep...and..." she's crying hysterically now. "And he...bit me. And I was just lost after that."

I nod, completely understanding the addiction of a strigoi bite. "It's okay," I whisper. "It's going to be alright. I'm taking you home."

But Viktoria shakes her head. "They'll never accept me! They'll hate me! I'll-"

"Viktoria," I scold. "You know they'll be ecstatic to have you back! I'm sure you've caused Olena enough stress for two lifetimes..."

She brushes her cheeks. "I can't phone mom. I just-"

I rest my hand on her shoulder, feeling remarkably like a big sister. "I'll call. Go take a shower, okay?"

She nods, and hugs me once again. "Thank you, Rose. I'm so sorry about what I said about you and Dimitri. I know he loved you more than anything." And she slowly moved into the bathroom.

I punch it into the phone, having memorized it when I was staying with them, and waited two rings before the familiar voice picks up.

"Hello, Olena Belikova."

I let out a dry sob and clutch the phone. "Hi, Olena, it's me, Rose."

"Roza? Oh thank God you're okay! When you disappeared, we were so worried! We had no idea where you had gone!"

I smile to myself. "I'm sorry, Olena, it's just... look I'm in Moscow, and was wondering if you could meet me."

As selfish as it was, I couldn't afford a train ticket.

"Oh, Roza, if you're looking for Viktoria..." she said, her voice turning dark.

"No! I... I know she ran away. She told me!" Silence. "Olena, I found her! She wants to come home! She's afraid that you won't accept her, but she wants to come home."

Olena begins to sob. "Okay. Of course I'll come get her. Oh, Roza, how can I ever thank you?"

I laugh. "Olena, I can't talk much longer. Just call me when you get here?"

"Yes, of course. Thank you so much Rose!"

I smile and bid her goodbye.

"Rose?"

I turn to Viktoria, who stands in the doorway. "Are you alright?"

I suddenly realize I have been crying. Hearing Olena's voice just reminds me of Dimitri, of everything that's happened in the past year.

"Is this about the Queen thing?"

I freeze. "You know about that?"

She sits beside me. "She was the _Queen, _Rose, it made news."

I sigh. "Yeah, I guess. It's complicated."

"Or is it about Ivashkov?"

"_What? _You know about that, too?" I cry

"He was, what, the Queen's nephew? Big news."

I let out a bitter laugh. "Does everyone know about my love life?" No way was I going to get relationship advice from Dimitri's sister. I wasn't even going to mention him. She didn't bring him up, either, and I was thankful that she had decided not to.

I groan. "Love bites."

I immediately regretted my words, looking up at her, and her bandaged neck.

But she smiles. "Don't I know it?"

* * *

**Thanks so much for your amazing reviews! I really loved writing this chapter!**

**By the way, I accidentally deleted this chapter. This is the second version!**


	7. Dimitri

Three days after my phone call to Olena, I sit beside Viktoria in a small, old-fashioned diner in Moscow. It's mostly filled with locals, some of the staff barely speaking English. I sit in a vinyl both with Viktoria, squeezing her hand, comforting her. The smell of the rich food is overwhelming, and I suddenly realize I haven't eaten since yesterday. But with only a few rubles left, I really couldn't afford a meal. Or anything, really.

When Olena walks in, I barely recognize her. She's aged. Her dark brown hair has been streaked with thicker strands of gray, the lines and creases in the corners of her eyes and mouth had become more defined. The proud woman I once knew had been seemingly compacted by the world.

But when she sees Viktoria, her whole face lit up, and tears spring to her eyes, making it clear that in her youth, she had been very beautiful. She wraps her arms around her daughter, sobbing into her, while Viktoria cries into her mother's shoulder. She is murmuring in Russian, soothingly, and strokes Viktoria's hair.

After gently brushing the tears from her youngest child's cheeks and a short conversation in Russian, Olena sits down across from me, Viktoria by her side. She grips my hands, looking at me lovingly.

"Roza, we seem to meet under the circumstances of you doing favours for our family. I can't thank you enough for everything you've done."

I smile, deeply moved by the display of emotion, and choke down my own tears. "I'd do anything for you guys. You're practically my family."

Olena smiles, her eyes still moist. "We just assumed you went home after you disappeared that night from our town. We didn't know you had left for Moscow."

"Well, I did go home. But then the whole Queen's murder was framed on me, and the whole _Adrian _thing, and then the whole Dimitri thing, God it's complicated. I needed to get away."

I waited for a comment on Dimitri a _what did he do?_ but both of their faces blank. Finally, Olena croaks, "Dimitri? What '_Dimitri thing?'" _

I freeze. "Dimitri...turning back into a...a Dhampir?"

They stare at me, the same look passed through the generations. "You're lying," Viktoria whispers.

"I'm not! Lissa, my friend, she's a Spirit user! I told you about her... She charmed a stake and staked Dimitri. And he turned back! He didn't... you mean you didn't hear?" I say, unable to believe he wouldn't have called his own family.

Olena shakes her head, but Viktoria's eyes narrow. "You're lying! You're crazy! That's not _possible!" _She turns to her mother. "She's using us. She's a liar!" Although I could understand her disbelief, I still felt the rejection.

Tears fill my eyes. "I'm not! It's the truth!"

Olena gently shakes her head. "Please, Rose, this isn't something to joke about," she whispers.

"I'm _not joking! _I've got his number! You can talk to him!" I cry desperately

Viktoria shakes her head, but slowly, so slowly, Olena reaches out a shaky hand. I quickly pull out my phone and turn it on.

_61 New Voicemails_

_73 Unread Messages_

Ignoring the alerts, I scroll to my contacts and press Dimitri's number, setting down the phone and sliding it across the table, as if they're afraid to touch me. Viktoria grabs the phone and turns it onto speaker, so that both her and her mother can hear.

After another two rings, a wary, exhausted voice answers. "_Belikov."_

Olena immediately begins to sob, and Viktoria doesn't move, doesn't breathe.

"Oh, Dimitri, Oh God, oh God. Is that really you?" Olena cries.

"Mama?"

That just makes her sob harder. "And Viktoria, your sister's here as well. Oh, Dimitri, you're alive."

He breathes out shakily. "Yes, Mama, I'm alive."

"_Why didn't you call me? _Do you _know _how sick I was? I thought you were _gone, _Dimitri! I thought I had lost you!" And she trails off into a rapid string of Russian, using her 'scolding tone.'

Dimitri answers her, and I give a blank look at the language. Viktoria, silent so far, leans over. "He says he's had to deal with the horrors of what he's done. He's needed some time." I nod.

"Viktoria?"

She sniffs. "Hey, Dimka," she answers. "Sorry, just translating. I've missed you so much. I thought..."

"I know, I'm so sorry, I didn't intend for you to wait so long. I've missed you, too. How have you been? How is Sonya's baby? And translating? Who's there?"

Horror consumes me at his last question, but Viktoria answer too quickly. "I've been...okay. Sonya named her baby Anya, she's doing good, loud, but good. And I'm just translating for Rose."

_NO! _Silence on the line. "Wha... _Rose?_ I mean, Roza? Rose Hathaway?"

She laughs. "Yeah, Dimka. Rose. _Your _Roza."

I wince, _your Roza_, and they both catch it, and obviously now see that something has happened.

"Is she there right now? Can she hear me?"

"Yeah, but-"

"Rose? Roza, can you hear me? Roza, _please, please _come home. Rose, talk to me. _Talk to me! _The Princess needs you! Your parents are doing everything they can! Where are you? Rose? _Rose? _Mama, where are you right now? You have to keep her there! Don't let her-"

I immediately stand up, grabbing a pencil from the survey container, and jotting down his phone number on a napkin before snapping my phone shut.

"I'm sorry, I have to... I've got to go. This is Dimitri's phone number, for his cell. I'm so sorry, I-"

But I didn't let myself finish, and before either of them could get up to stop me, I dashed from the restaurant.

...

_Yeah, Dimka. **Your **__Roza._

I shiver, though it's not from the cold. _Your Roza. _He had pushed me away, dismissed me. Although he had become extremely involved in my trial, and even defended me against Tasha, at the end, he had repeated his original message. _I'm sorry, Rose, _he had said. _I don't love you. I never will. I admit it, I care about you, how could I not after what we had gone through. But I don't love you, and I never will. _

I had left, embarrassed, humiliated. And then I had pushed myself away, not just to make him angry. To save myself from heartbreak.

But now, just hearing his voice made me want to run back, to collapse, to cry. I was horrified at Viktoria for the words she had said. _Your Roza. _But in truth, that's all I wanted to be.

I quickly headed back to the gritty motel, fighting back tears, and longing. I throw myself onto the cot, my body shaking with sobs that I refused to let out. I wish I could switch motels, one where they don't know the location of, but I don't have the money.

I had thought this would be easy. That I would just leave, that my friends and family would maybe just wait, see if I come back, and slowly, I would fade. But I had never expected this emotion, this pain. The memory wasn't enough. I needed to be with them.

Suddenly my phone vibrates, and, out of habit, I answer, the sudden realization coming onto me at what I had just done.

"Roza," he breathed, obviously shocked I had answered. But I said nothing.

"Roza, please. Are you there? Can you hear me?" I bit my lip, tears escaping my tear ducts. "Talk to me. Please talk to me." I could only hear his heavy breathing in the background.

"I need to hear your voice. I just need to hear you, Rose. Please, just say something."

I clutch the phone, feeling close to complete breakdown.

Dimitri lets out a shaky breath. "Come home, Rose. Vasilisa needs you. Adrian needs you. They're falling apart. Rose, Vasilisa can't rule without you."

_Vasilisa needs you. Adrian needs you. _Angry swells within me. Still avoiding me, even over the phone.

"Roza, Rose. I know it's you. Please, talk to me. Tell me where you are. Roza, _please. _I...I..." he sighs, and another wave of self-pity and anger hits me. I hang up.

Cradling my phone, I let it out, let myself cry. And when, my eyes are so swollen, they can barely open, I give in to the exhaustion. And I fall asleep.

* * *

**Another chapter done! **

**And for anyone who is interested in the background story (aka, Tasha killing the Queen and everything that happens between Rose and Dimitri) I have a story called Assassination. I'm not trying to push my other story onto you! I know it's long! But if anyone is interested in a summery or description, feel free to tell me :)**

**And for anyone who just wants the basics, I would recommend reading the first and second-last chapter. Pretty much sums it up!**

**The only difference between the two stories is that Dimitri doesn't tell Rose he loves her, and that the epilogue doesn't happen!**


	8. Illusion

I slept. For hours.

_"Rose?"_

_It's him, once again. He's always here, always in my mind. _

_"Rose, look at me."_

_Loneliness. Dark, empty, alone. But the cell seems to be getting bigger and bigger, my soul shrinking more and more. _

_"Rose, I want you to look at me. Rose? Rose!" _

_Slowly, I turn away from the white, stark walls, and he stands there, really there. _

_"What are you doing here?" I ask levelly. _

_"I wanted to talk to you. I needed to talk to you."_

_I shrug. "There's nothing to say."_

_He sighs. "Rose-"_

_"Please leave."_

_Silence. Maybe it really was my imagination._

I finally cracked my swollen eyes open, the light from the dirty window makes me squeeze them shut again.

_Dimitri. _His name sweeps into my memory, and I groan.

I loved him. I _still _love him. After everything he's ever said to me. I love him with all my heart. Every piece of it.

I wonder what my life would be like if he hadn't been taken away from me. No doubt I would be at Court, in my own apartment, possibly even _house, _and not socially rejected. Perhaps I'd be waking up, just like this, but wrapped in Dimitri's arms. Perhaps I'd wake up, staring at the ceiling, and turn to meet a glowing pair of warm, liquid brown eyes.

But instead, I was here, in a crappy motel room, waking up alone after crying myself to sleep. Not exactly the life I had wanted.

But what _I _wanted wasn't supposed to matter anyways. _They come first. _But I had left her behind, even though it was for her own good.

_Or was it? _

Suddenly, my stomach cramped at the very thought that I, on some level, had done exactly what Dimitri had done. Not being able to handle my own emotions, and the punishment that lay with them, I had pushed myself away, not just from Dimitri, but from everyone in my life.

_Oh God. _

But the stubborn, angry rebel inside me tells me to stand my ground. I can't go back. I can't.

And then, like a sick joke, my phone begins to vibrate. I groan, slowly lift myself up, and grab the phone off of my bedside table.

_Incoming Call From:  
Dimitri _

Just watching the name on the screen, I wait until the phone stops ringing, although I'm not sure if it's willpower or lack of it that keeps me from picking up.

I set down my phone, my eyes flicking towards the window. Darkness. I had slept for an entire day, and night. I had been sleeping horriblyevery since I got here. Really, ever since I had been imprisoned.

I guess it was finally catching up to me. _After you heard Dimitri's voice. _

I groan again and push myself out of the tiny cot, ignoring my own scolding thoughts. I suppose I could go out, find a club, stake out strigoi, but my own self pity and loss is overwhelming.

My phone vibrates again. This time, longing and lonliness controlling me, I answer.

"Roza."

I sigh. "Roza, please talk to me, I need to hear your voice. Just once."

My shaking mouth opens. "I'm sorry," I whisper, incredibly softly. I'm not even sure if he heard me, the reception is crackling, but he lets out a breath.

"Oh, Roza, don't be sorry. Please, please just come home."

"I can't," I mumble.

I can hear Dimitri shift, moving around, maybe in frustration. "Yes, you can. Rose, you don't need to be embarrassed. Everyone-"

"Embarrassed? I _don't _want to come home. I left for a reason. Why are you even calling, Dimitri, I think you made it pretty clear that you don't care about me."

"That's not true!" he argues. "I care about you, more than anyone else, Rose, I _care._"

I roll my eyes. _That stubborn piece of-_

God, what is it about him? Angry boils through me, and I hang up.

Embarrassed? I'm not embarrassed. Never.

I'm just strong enough to say away from him. Does he not understand how anyone could?

But a part of me wanted to go back. I missed everyone. I partly regretted my decision.

But I couldn't go back. My pride wouldn't let me.

I silently cursed. I _was _embarrassed.

Once again, Dimitri Belikov knew me better than I knew myself.


	9. Into The Light

My body sags from exhaustion, despite the energetic vibe in the air.

Couples grind and pulse, dancing wildly to the music. Lights swirl around their heads, moving as part of the crowd.

But I can feel the nausea rise. They're here. Somewhere.

As I move around the floor, I can feel it intensify and shrink, as if controlled by an internal compass. I slip past dancers, pressed together.

All shapes and sizes, and species, litter the floor. Mostly Dhampirs and Moroi, but some unknowing humans, as well as a few strigoi, apparently.

Clubs were a major hangout for strigoi. Alcohol made targets vunerable, and therefore, easy targets.

I had my phone on me, for emergencies, and quickly check the screen.

_72 New Voicemails_

_83 Unread Messages_

I snap it shut, the feeling of nausea getting stronger. I made my way down a thin hallway, where I believed the bathrooms to be, the sick feeling growing. I turned the corner..

And hit a dead end. Cursing under my breath, I press myself against the wall, the nausea, once again, getting stronger.

_Outside. _Doing who knows what to an innocent victim.

I run to the end of the hall, quickly turning the corner, and running smack into the person walking.

He grunts and stumbles, holding me to keep me upright.

"Sorry," I mumble, trying to get passed.

"Roza_?_"

I freeze, my eyes slowly, slowly, scaling his body, and meeting the familiar brown pair of eyes.

_NO!_

But I am immediately embraced, Dimitri holding me tightly in a hug, burying his face into my neck. "Oh, Roza."

I want to just melt into his hug, but all my reason comes back, hitting me like a tidal wave, and I jerk away, attempting to run down the hall.

Dimitri looks surprised, but comes at me, shoving me around the corner to avoid any attention. I was trapped.

I strike out at him, throwing my fist towards him. Dimitri ducks and shoves me backwards, hard. He quickly grabs my wrist, the force swinging me around.

He takes my other wrist, and brings them both behind my back, pinning me against him and the wall.

I fight, but there's no use. He's to strong.

"Let me go!" I hiss.

He leans down, his lips next to my ear. "No. I'm taking you back to Court."

I slowly, so slowly, lean back into him.

"No!" I argue. "I'm not going. I'm eighteen. You can't force me."

Dimitri sighs. "Fine. I'm kidnapping you."

I lean back even further, praying Dimitri didn't notice. "Would you just leave me alone? I don't love you, okay? And you don't love me. I don't want you in my life!"

I can feel him tense against my body. "Too bad. It's not like I'm here because I love you and am begging for you to take me back. I was _hired _to bring you back."

Okay, that stung. But _hired?_ I lean back even further, just needing another inch or so...

"Hired? What, now they hire ex-strigoi to bring back supposed criminals?"

Dimitri tenses even more, his muscles tight and edgy. "Please, don't."

Guilt trickles through me, using Dimitri's insecurities against him, but I need to.

"When they don't _really _care about a runaway, they send the men most desperate for a job?"

"Rose, _please,_" he begs shakily.

I swallow my shame and continue. "A social outcast, dragging back another social outcast, as if trying to worm back into the ranks of society by-"

"_Rose,_" Dimitri grits his teeth. "Stop."

I scoff, leaning back even more. And I jump.

Straight into the air, into I Dimitri's arms, and he releases my arms to support my waist. _Perfect. _

I bring my feet against the wall and push. We both tumble to the floor, and I bury my elbow into Dimitri's gut.

He grunts, rolling over to clutch his stomach. I jump off of him and take off, not looking back.

...

_Nearest exit, nearest exit, nearest exit. _

And, like a beacon, I spot the glow of the sign, advertising my escape.

I slip out the back door, into the reeking back alley.

My body tenses, although I don't understand it until I hear the sick voice in my ear.

"Well, what do we have here?"

I spin quickly, afraid of what I will see.

Blue eyes. _Blue eyes? _Not red, no familiar line of contact lenses. Just the shallow blue eyes of a Moroi with a hungry look on his face.

I am about to punch him in the nose, when a hand comes from behind and grabs me.

Another Moroi, but with well-defined muscles. Something extremely rare on a Moroi. I freeze.

This Moroi had strength, reflexes better than any Dhampir...and about seventy-five pounds on me, as well as him and his 'friends' outnumbered me.

I had strength, but it had been weakened by several days of not eating.

Not enough.

I looked at him, the man behind me, as well as three other Moroi, all who at least appeared incredibly strong.

The man smiles at me, and I try to jerk away, but the man behind me just grabs both of my arms and twist them behind me.

I try to pull away, but one man grabs hold of my hair, the other comes to stand in front of me.

"Looking for a bite, Dhampir?"

I hiss. "Get the hell away from me."

His lips turn into a grin, and the freaks beside him grab tightly onto me, and the first Moroi reaches for the buttons on my silky, red shirt.

I struggle and fight but they hold onto me.

Fear and..._shame..._bubbles through me, and I refuse to cry. Not in front of them. But the very thought of what they're about to do to me makes me want to collapse, to crumble, implode.

They shove me against the wall, and the man starts to work on my skirt.

Suddenly, I hear a clash, and the men let me go, before they get too far. I roll to the ground, crawling towards the corner of the alley.

Through my blurred eyes and the dark setting, I really couldn't see.

But Blue Eyes appeared right before me, but when I blink, he's gone.

Screaming. Yelling. Grunting. Crashing. I'm numb.

"Roza?" A warm, concerned face appears before me.

I wince, but recognize his soft eyes. "Dimitri?" I whisper.

He nods, and I throw myself into his arms, letting myself sob. I had never felt so...violated.

And he held me. After everything I had said to him, after giving him so much pain, he just held me.

"It's alright, Roza."

I nod into his shoulder, my arms tight around his neck, sobbing until I have run dry, and my hysterics have subsided into hiccups.

Dimitri slowly pulls away. I try to bring him back, but he drags my arms back around his neck and leans forward, his hands quickly doing up the buttons on my shirt, and pulling back up the waist of my skirt.

He helps me up, and gently wipes the hair from my eyes, and, for the first time, I notice the beaten men lying on the ground. Dimitri turns my jaw upwards.

"Roza, I'm going to get you out of here, okay?"

I nod, clinging to him like a lifeline. He brings me out of the dark alley, into the light.


	10. Prisoner of Warrier

Dimitri led me down the street, holding onto me tightly. I let him lead me blindly, until we ended up at a small diner at the corner of a city block. Actually, it was the same one where Viktoria and I had met Olena.

I had stopped shaking by now, slowly realizing that I was safe now. Dimitri's hand on my shoulder had calmed me, enough that I was mad that he had found me at all.

He stepped back, waiting for me to slide into the both, so he can slide in after me and prevent me from escaping. Being as stubborn as I am, I move to the other side, flopping down into the vinyl seats. But my cockiness fades as Dimitri follows me, trapping me between him and the wall.

Damn.

I cross my arms over my chest, irritated, and he sighs, as if he knows my thoughts, as if he knew he was going to have to deal with my sour attitude.

But my temper was far beyond sour. He thought he could just walk back into my life and pretend nothing happened? He wasn't my mentor anymore. He wasn't my teacher. I'm an adult, I'll do what I want.

Now, my irritation growing with every thought, however childish, I flick my gaze to Dimitri, who seems to be examining me.

"_What?_" I snap, surprised at the venom in my voice.

But Dimitri doesn't flinch. "How long has it been since you've had something to eat?" he asks. My eyes follow his gaze down my body. I had lost weight. Quite a bit, actually, considering I'd only been gone a few weeks. But I could only afford to eat every few days, and even now I hadn't eaten in two, maybe three. My curves had softened, practically non-exsistant now. I probably looked more like a Moroi than Dhampir.

I shrug, a lame attempt at hiding my answer. Dimitri sighs and shakes his head.

"Order something, Roza."

Sadly, the truth was I couldn't even afford to order a fast food hamburger, or whatever food they had at this diner. I was broke. Completely broke.

"I'm not hungry. And I'm _not _your Roza."

This time, Dimitri does flinch, but he quickly shifts back to neutral. "You need to eat something."

"I'm. Not. Hungry." _I'm starving._

He rolls his eyes, irritating me further, then waves over the waitress, speaking in rapid Russian to the girl.

I look down, afraid to even look at him. What was I supposed to say to him? _So...You still don't love me? I still don't mean anything to you?_

But I feel his fingertips brush against my temple, sweeping my hair away from my eyes.

"Rose, _are you okay_?" His tone was serious, obviously not just a casual question.

"What do you mean?" I ask stupidly, hoping to completely avoid the subject.

"What happened? Why did you leave?" he whispers, so softly.

I sigh. "You know what? I'm _am_ okay, or at least I was until you showed up! I was _not _okay when you completely brushed me off. I am _not _okay with you dragging me back to Court and making me ruin everyone's lives. And I'm definately _not _okay with you pretending like you give a damn about me or my problems."

Silence. He wasn't saying anything, and that made me nervous. I heard him inhale, possibly about to speak, until the waitress steps in, setting down two plates of food.

Piled on the plate are what looks like bloated bread, the small square having been deep-fried. I give Dimitri a questioning look, but he gives me a small smile that doesn't reach his eyes.

"Just try it," he says simply.

"What is it?"

He sighs. "Just trust me."

We both freeze at his words. Trust him? He broke my heart, my faith in him, everything.

But slowly, so slowly, I take one of the bread pieces off of the plate and take a bite. It had some sort of a meat filling, and it was wonderful. My stomach throbs, and I find myself grabbing them rapidly, as if they might disappear.

We both finish our meals, although I haven't gotten all the way through mine after my stomach has contracted through a lack of eating. I really can't remember the last time I've eaten, and the fullness of food feels wonderful.

But I can't pay the price.

I quickly shut my eyes, feeling so stupid. How was I supposed to tell him that? That I just _happened_ to have left my ten measly dollars at my motel, even though that was the truth?

"Rose, what's wrong?" Dimitri asks, immediately sensing me shutting down.

"Rose-"

But I shake my head, waving him off. When the bill arrives, I am humiliated, although this really isn't that big of a deal, right? One bill. One small bill.

But Dimitri pulls put the cash from his pocket, not even thinking, paying for the entire thing, like the gentleman he is, and dropping it onto the table, then cautiously slipping out of the booth, careful not to give me too much access to the door.

"Thank you," I whisper, relieved, and let him lead me out of the diner.

Once we step out onto the street, though, he immediately becomes 'The Russian Jailer', grabbing me firmly by the arm and dragging me down the street.

"Where are you staying?" he demands. I think of the tiny, dingy motel room, and shake my head. If I can get away from him, that's the only place I can go.

"Yeah, right."

"Rose, we're getting your things. Now you either tell me or you have to wear those clothes for as long as it takes to get back to Court."

I shrug. A day or two, no big deal. I was wearing a red, satin shirt and a skirt, after hunting strigoi at a nightclub. At least they were nice.

Dimitri sighs again. "I know you've taken Oksana's ring with you. And I know you don't want to leave it."

I freeze, remembering. "You know about that?" I blurt, my cockiness fading.

He nods. "The Princess."

I groan. Of course. "See? It's obvious I'm not needed. She has someone to talk to, you have someone to pretend your listening to, to pretend you care about. It all works out." He ignores me, infuriating me even further. "So leave me the hell alone!" But, to my surprise, he drags me down the street towards my motel.

"Where are we going?" I gulp, afraid to give anything away.

"Viktoria told me where you were staying. I thought I'd see if you'd actually tell me."

I grunt and fall silent, trying to rip my arm away from his steel hold.

When we get to the crappy motel, Dimitri questions, "_This _is where you've been living?"

I shrug, and give up, leading him to my room, ramming my shoulder against the door to open it. Dimitri steps in, standing in the middle, as if anything he touches will infect him. I know it's disgusting, but somehow, I feel ashamed.

"We're getting you out of here. It's..._unsanitary. _And this is a dangerous neighbourhood to be staying in. Horrible things have happened here. I don't want you walking around down here at night."

But, once again, I realized that I couldn't afford to stay here. Or leave.

I had asked the manager if I could pay afterwards, hoping to get a job. That obviously wasn't going to happen, and now I was out of cash.

"I don't want to go anywhere with you! I can take care of myself," I lie, watching as he raises a brow.

"Too bad. We're going. Somewhere where the sheets are actually cleaned and there aren't bloodstains in the carpet."

But I fought him, trying to pull away as he tugs on my arm. "No."

"Rose, stop being stubborn. Don't you want to be able to sleep on a clean bed?"

_Yes. _"I'm not your student anymore! You can't force me to go anywhere with you!"

But he quickly grabs my bag, which I regret keeping so neat and full, and jerks me out of the room, the scratched and worn room key in his hand.

Dimitri drops the room key onto the counter of the front desk, looking like he really wants to be out of here. He's not the only one.

"You still have to pay," the man said, his thick Russian accent making it hard to understand.

"Pay?" Dimitri asks, looking at me questioningly, and I try not to burst into tears.

I'm embarrassed. I've killed strigoi, single-handedly, and yet I can't provide for myself.

I squeeze my eyes shut and shake my head. Pulling Dimitri away from the counter for a moment, I try to keep my attitude.

"See? If you would have just left me alone, I could have gotten a job! Looks like I'll be staying here. Have a nice life."

But suddenly, Dimitri's comforting hand is on the small of my back, pulling me close, and he quietly pays the man before we both depart.

The streets are dark, and Dimitri is in guardian mode, one hand tightly on my shoulder, making sure that I am walking ahead, as if we'll be attacked from behind. When we reached a brighter-lit area of the city, I feel him relax. As much as he ever does.

"I'm so sorry," I whisper, mortified.

Dimitri sighs. "Rose, don't be sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry you had to stay there, that you had to be on your own."

I wanted to snap, telling him I could take care of myself, but I obviously couldn't.

"Rose, why didn't you take Adrian's card?" he asks.

"Because, Adrian's bank would have phoned him, making sure his card wasn't stolen when all of the sudden money was being spent in Russia. They would tell him what motel I was staying at, and he could have found me. Not that it really matters anymore."

I heard him mumble under his breath, but he continues to drag me along. "Where are we going?" I demand.

But Dimitri doesn't answer, he just drags me along with him, down several streets until we end up at a tall, modern building.

The lobby is bright red and white, the entire place sleek and streamlined. He speaks quietly to the receptionist, and she hands him a card, but not before her eyes travel over me.

I'm a mess, and I know it. My hair is ungroomed, my clothes creased and probably stained. I look like...well, a captive. And by the looks of it, she knows something's wrong.

But Dimitri gives the woman a microscopic smile. "Nightclubs," he explains. "Are becoming much too crowded," as if we were there partying as a couple, and he thanks the woman, I think, and pointedly slips his hand into mine, making sure the woman sees this display of our "relationship" and leads me into the elevator, dropping my hand, and up to our room.

"There is no way she fell for that," I say, after we are out of earshot of the woman.

"Fell for what?"

"That whole act. Not a chance."

Dimitri sighs. "It wasn't like I was planning on having to come up with an excuse. Besides, how do you know?"

I snort. "No way anyone would ever belive _you _would go to a nightclub. You're too uptight, like you have a stick up your a-"

"Rose," he scolds, and opens the door to _our _room.

There are two double beds, with a small bathroom to the side. Everything is clean and white, the towels bleached and the carpet spotless. I don't know what looks more tempting. The shower, or the bed.

But sleep is an overwhelming, and after weeks of sleeping on a stained cot, I want nothing more.

I quickly change, Dimitri waiting at the door, as if I'll run out with strigoi speed and escape. In nothing more than an oversized tee shirt. Yeah, right.

But when I sink into the bed, I can't think of anything else but the plush mattress underneath me.

"Goodnight, Rose," I heard Dimitri whisper, before I fell into a peaceful, dreamless sleep.


	11. Sleeping Beauty

I sleep for what feels like days. But the blissful fog lifts, and I slowly come back to my own body, and the clean hotel room.

Dimitri sits in a small armchair, leaning to the side, dark circles under his eyes. He slowly blinks, and catches my gaze.

"You're awake," he mumbles. I nod.

"Have you not slept? All night?" By his appearance, the answer is clear.

Shaking his head, Dimitri replies gruffly, "We both know you would have left."

I smile. He knows me so well. "I'm going to go take a shower. Go to sleep, Dimitri."

But, once again he shakes his head. I sigh, giving up, and grab some things from my bag before disappearing into the bathroom. I take a long, hot shower, letting the water scrub away any remainders of my old, disgusting motel, and the touch of those sick Moroi in the alley.

But when I dress and slip out of the bathroom, Dimitri is slumped on the floor beside the bathroom door, still sitting up, fast asleep. I had known he wasn't sleeping well, every since he had changed back from strigoi, but this was ridiculous.

I kneel beside him, my one hand slipping to the side of his jaw, lifting his head. His eyes flutter open, but he is still incredibly groggy. "Rose?" he mumbles.

"Dimitri, you need to sleep," I say softly.

"No... I'm..."

He trails off and stumbles to his feet. He lurches, and I instantly catch him. Gently, I lead him to the other bed, letting him lay down, his eyes drooping.

"No," he mutters. "I'm supposed to bring you back."

The air about him is almost..._childlike._ I push him down as he tries to rise. _Stubborn as a child_. In this moment, he reminds me so much of Paul.

"Dimitri, I promise I won't leave. Just sleep, okay?"

He gives me an exhausted nod and drifts off to sleep.

I settle into the armchair, picking up Dimitri's lame western novel, and begin to read.

...

A hear a soft moan, and he shifts around in bed.

With a gasp, Dimitri jerks upright.

"Hey, what's wrong?" I ask, gently, setting down his novel, which, although I'll never admit it, was actually pretty good.

He seems to just notice me, and jumps out of bed. "You didn't leave," he says, shocked.

I shake my head. "I promised I wouldn't."

He eyes me curiously. "Yes, but I still can't believe you didn't leave."

"Are you calling me a liar?" I excuse, trying to sound serious, or scolding.

Dimitri gives me one last look before turning away. "No," he says simply. "But I have something for you."

I sit down, cross-legged on the bed. He walks to the closet, where, of course, his duster has been hung up neatly. Reaching into the pocket, he pulls out a plastic credit card, and hands it to me.

I stare at the card in my hands. "Dimitri-"

"Take it. It's linked to my account. I got it while you were asleep."

"_What? _What are you talking about? I can't accept this-"

He sighs, and sits down next to me. "Rose, I know that you don't want to be here. I know you don't want to go home, that you don't want to be anywhere near me, after what I've done to you. But if, or when, you do escape, I don't want you to end up living in a place like that motel, or unable to eat. Or..."

I give him a sad smile. "Or end up as a bloodwhore?" I interrupt. He looks down at his hands.

"I want you to be safe. I don't ever want to worry about you they way I already have. I know I don't have much to give you, I just... I want you to be taken care of."

To my shock, I instantly throw my arms around him. "Thank you."

He freezes, but ends up wrapping his arms around my waist, burying his face into my hair. _I don't want to run away, _I realize.

Before it got awkward, I pulled away. "So, when are you dragging me back to Court?" I ask, pulling up humor as my only defense against emotion.

Dimitri sighs. "I guess I should call. When I left, they expected storms over the next few days. Did you bring a heavier jacket?" he asks, and when I shake my head, says, "Of course not. Never remembers a coat. I suppose we'll have to get you one?"

I shake my head. "No, really, I'm..."

But Dimitri won't hear it, and insists that we go and get me a jacket before the weather turns too cold.

Luckily, just as we walk out of the small store and into the streets, the first flakes of snow begin to fall. I pull on my new jacket, once again, promising Dimitri that I will pay him back. And, once again, he waves me off.

But even as we walk down the street, Dimitri stays close to me, not letting me stray far, as if I would bolt at any second.

But, as I had come to realize, I felt safe with Dimitri in this strange city, and I wanted to stick by his side.

"Have you visited your family, yet?" I ask, trying to sound casual.

He sighs. "No. I'm not ready for that yet."

I flick my eyes towards him. "You didn't even phone to say you were alive," I state. "If you would have seen Olena's face... It was like her whole world was brighter, like she was happy for the first time in a long time. Just by hearing your voice."

He glances momentarily at his watch. "We should get back to the hotel. I'm expecting a call."

Grabbing his sleeve, I pull him around. "Oh no you don't. Talk to me, Dimitri. You know your family would have immediately gotten on a plane just to see you."

"But I didn't want them to see me. A failure as a Guardian, someone associated with strigoi. I did horrible things. I don't deserve their sympathy."

I don't know if Dimitri has ever opened up to me like this. I feel so horrible to see him like this. Before I can register what I am doing, I wrap my arms around him.

"You're a good man, Dimitri. No matter what you think, no matter what you want to believe."

I feel him stiffen in my arms. He pulls away, his voice thick and his accent heavy. "We should go back to the hotel."

I sigh, and all I can do is follow.

* * *

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	12. One AM

I lean forward, almost instinctively, wrapping my arms around his neck. He freezes, surprised by my change of emotion, but runs his hands down my sides.

I cannot believe this is happening. Why did we ever break up in the first place? How did I survive without this for months? His hands quickly unbutton my shirt and peels the material off of my shoulders. Dimitri's lips press into my skin.

"Lissa," he groans.

_Lissa? _I reach up, twisting my fingers in his dark hair, and gently open my eyes, looking into fiery blue ones.

"I love you, Christian."

_Not Dimitri not Dimitri not Dimitri!_

I quickly think of Rose, _myself, _and latch on, slowly clawing myself back to my own body.

When I feel the feelings of arousal start to leave, I snap my eyes open to meet a deep, warm pair staring back at me.

"Rose?"

I sigh. "Yeah?"

Dimitri kneels before me, his concerned eyes staring deep into me, although his expression remains empty.

"Are you okay? Is the Princess alright?"

I sigh again and nod. "Yeah. Her and Christian are making up for lost time and she accidently invited me in." I shudder. "God, that kid is pale."

Dimitri smiles, the smallest of smiles, and gets up, sitting down on his own bed across from mine. He's still wearing his pajama bottoms, and his hair is messy. "So..."

"So...?" I reply, raising my brows.

"Do you... want anything? Are you hungry?"

My eyes flick towards the clock on the wall. "Dimitri, it's one o'clock in the morning."

He remains silent. I cannot believe how awkward things have gotten to be. "Talked to Lissa, lately?" I ask.

He blinks once like a solemnant lion. "No, the Princess didn't know I was leaving."

"Really?" I ask, bringing my legs up on the bed. "I bet she's pissed."

He raises one eyebrow. "You don't know?"

I sigh. "It's complicated."

"Yes. It is."

I smile. "No, I don't know. I try not to check on her, unless she pulls me in. It makes me want to go home, it made it hard for me to stay here."

"And that's bad," he states, his voice holding no hint of a question.

I shrug. "Doesn't really matter, now, if you're dragging me back, does it?" Silence. "But I managed to keep busy. Distract myself."

He pauses, looking thoughtful. "What have you been doing here?" he asks finally.

Shrugging, I lay back against the headboard, all thoughts of sleep forgotten. "At first I tried to find a job. But couldn't get one, of course. So I got the room at that crappy motel, promising to pay later in hopes of getting a job. I was walking past some nightclub after handing in some resumes when I heard something in the alley.

This woman was being attacked by strigoi. I... I fought them, staked them. And I started coming back to hunt strigoi. I don't know, my instincts or something. Hunting strigoi. But I just kept going back. And that's when I found Viktoria."

Dimitri visibly tries to repress a shudder. "My mother wouldn't tell me what happened. No one would. Please, Rose. What happened to her?"

I cannot resist his pleading look. "She ran away with Rolan after Olena forbade her to see him."

His deep eyes grew dark. "I'll kill him."

"Already did," I reply quickly. "He attacked Viktoria at the club I was at."

He blinks in surprise. "I... shouldn't have said that."

I shrug. "He turned strigoi a few months after she ran away. He bit her... and she-"

"Yeah," Dimitri said sharply. "I think I can guess the rest."

My heart aches out for him, and I gently sit down beside him on his bed. But Dimitri seems to shrink away. "Dimitri, you can't possibly compare yourself to Rolan," I whisper.

He tenses. "Why not? How am I any different? I used you, I used you as a bloodwhore. I wanted you as a possession, something to own, to have control over. I wanted you because I didn't want to be under Nathan's command anymore! I used your feelings for me against you, dangling love and sex in front of you to manipulate you. I toyed with you, Rose. With your feelings for me."

I don't know how he'll react, but I reach out and clutch his hand. "You _are _different. I told you, you're a good man, Dimitri. At some point in time, you cared about me, you loved me. With Rolan, losing his soul didn't make an ounce of difference. He didn't care about Viktoria any more than he did when he was Moroi."

Dimitri shakes his head. "It doesn't matter. I didn't treat you any better."

I sighed, the pad of my thumb stroking his knuckles. "But it's the man you were, the man you are now, that makes the difference."

Slowly, so slowly, his eyes raise, meeting mine. "I'd hardly call what I am now a man."

"Why not? You've faced more than anyone ever has," I tell him, gently smiling. "You've come back from the undead, survived battles, fought strigoi, fought _Guardians, _and imprisonment."

Even he smiled slightly, more at me than with me. "Rose, you make me sound far more noble than what I have ever done."

I pat his hand and stand, crawling into my own bed. "That's where you're wrong."

I ignore his curious gaze and tug the cord that attaches to the lamp, and the room is instantly shadowed.

"Rose?" he asks, after several moments of silence.

I squeeze my eyes shut. "Yes?"

All I can hear throughout the hotel room is his heavy breathing floating through the air, weighing down the room. "Never mind."


	13. A Fight

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* * *

Dimitri curses loudly, both English and Russian, and slams the phone down.

I sit on my bed, watching him pace away his anger. "What's wrong?" I ask.

"The strigoi numbers are increasing rapidly around Court. They're not allowing any planes to enter or leave."

Not really sure how I'm supposed to be feeling, I just sit still while he paces back and forth.

"Why can't we just fly in on a public plane?"

"Because we'll land outside of the wards. I'm not risking that. But now we have to wait." He curses again.

"So?" I reply. "It's only a few days, right?"

He sighs, looking wearily at me. "That just gives you more time to run. You think that I'm naive? That I don't know you're planning an escape?"

Now, it's my turn to sigh. Yes, of course I thought about it. What he obviously didn't know was my reluctance to leave, to leave him. All my old feelings for him had begun to resurface.

But, in response, I shrug.

And Dimitri returns to his pacing.

"You're going to go through the floor, you know." Silence. "You're making me dizzy..." Again, no reponse. "Why are you so mad?"

"I'm not mad."

I roll my eyes. "Yeah, Dimitri. Right."

"I'm not mad."

"You're a horrible liar!" I accuse, feeling suddenly angry myself. "The plane will be here in a few days. Relax, would you? I haven't run away yet."

He sighs loudly and sits down on the edge of his own bed, his head resting in his palms.

"It's going to be okay," I say again, unsure of why he's so upset at a time like this. "It's not that big of a deal."

He looks up. "It is to me."

God, why did he have to be so... removed.

"But why?" I push.

"Because I know you, Rose. And I know that you can just disappear in a heartbeat." _Ouch. _A guilt trip? That's what I was getting?

"Maybe I _want _to go back!" I shoot back. "Maybe I've had enough of running away! Maybe I've missed Lissa, and Christian, and _Adrian.__"_

He flinched at my words, but remained silent. "God, you are so infuriating!" I cry.

"Me?" he grits his teeth.

"Yes you!"

"You _ran away! _You abandoned your friends, your family! You didn't answer your phone for weeks!" Whoa, that was uncalled for.

"You abandoned _me!" _I scream. "So don't you _dare _tell me how horrible _I _am!"

"I'm not saying that!"

"Sure as hell sounds like it!"

He growls. "Stop putting words into my mouth!"

"Stop being such an ass!"

He throws his hands up, as if I am the most frustrating creature on the planet. "I didn't force you to run away, Rose! Would you quit acting as if this is _my _fault?" By reflex, when I feel threatened, I head towards the door, an escape. But Dimitri jumps in front of me.

"It _is _your fault! If you wouldn't have been such an idiot in the first place, I wouldn't have run away!" I yell.

He freezes. "You ran away because of me?"

_I guess I did. _"I loved you, Dimitri! After everything that happened, I still loved you! Do you want to know what hurt me? Not being bitten! Not fighting you! It was when you told me you didn't love me! That was what hurt me!

So, yeah, you're right. It hurts me to even look at you. It hurts me to be around you! But it's because _you _abandoned _me, _and not because of anything else! Not because of anything else that you did!" I jab my finger into his chest. "Besides, why the hell do you care? You were _hired _to bring me back! It's not like your doing this _for_ me!"

He stays silent. But slowly, so slowly he steps away from the door, out of my way. "Then go," he whispers. "If you don't want to see me, if you don't want to be near me, then go."

I stomp out of the door, but not before calling over my shoulder,

"You're right. Love fades."

...

The wind whips around me, tearing at my bare arms, leaving me shivering. _You ran away! You abandoned your friends, your family! You didn't answer your phone for weeks!_

I sigh, and reach for my phone in my pocket, as if this will prove him wrong.

_97 New Voicemails_

_108 Unread Messages_

I immediately dial, punching in my voicemail code, and hold the phone to my ear, sitting down on the curb. I might as well, now.

_Hey, it's Rose Hathaway. Well, I didn't pick up, so if I haven't lost my phone, you've obviously pissed me off. I'll call you back if you're lucky! Leave a message!_

_New Voicemail From: Dimitri_  
"Rose? Rose, I was wondering if maybe you wanted to meet me. At the cafe in Court? At six? It's me, Dimitri. I just need to talk."

_New Voicemail From: Dimitri_  
"Rose, it's Dimitri. I know your angry. But please, just come. I'm still sitting in the cafe. It's... 7:42. Rose, please come."

_New Voicemail From: Dimitri_  
"It's Dimitri again. I'm starting to get worried. Just answer your phone, Roza. Where are you?"

_New Voicemail From: Liss_  
"Rose! You c-can't just l-leave me! Please, Rose! Come back! We can figure this out! Please, don't do this."

_New Voicemail From: Adrian_  
"Rose, you can't just run away. Please come back. Come back to Lissa, your parents. Come back to me."

And the voicemails continue. For weeks, they have called, Lissa, Adrian, my parents, even Christian. After a while, the dates start to become more spaced out, fewer and fewer as time goes on. But Dimitri has called me every day since I left.

_New Voicemail From: Mom_  
"Rosemarie! Don't do this! Not again. You don't need to run away! We can work this out. Please, Rose. I... I love you."

_New Voicemail From: Adrian_  
"Rose, what are you doing? Just come back. I miss you so much. Liss needs you more than anything. Your parents are sick. And Belikov, Belikov is falling apart Rose. I know your pissed at him, but you have no idea what you're doing to him. Answer your phone, your texts, _anything. _Please?"

But the last call is from a few days before Dimitri had shown up in Moscow. And it made my heart break.

_New Voicemail From: Dimitri_  
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I just... I needed to hear your voice. One last time. I'm sorry. I miss you. Goodbye, Roza."

_Oh, Dimitri. _

The sun warms my face as it rises, the last of the night crowd dispersing, although the weather was still frosty and chilling. Even though I was technically on a human schedule, I was exhausted, and wanted to sleep while everyone else was just getting up.

But mostly, I just wanted Dimitri.

I sigh, picking myself off of the grimy sidewalk, and shove my pale, shaking hands into my jean pockets, my entire body convulsing with shivers. My fingers brush the 310 rubles, or roughly ten American dollars, in my pocket, and I decide to go and get breakfast, seeing as I haven't eaten in at least ten hours.

Luckily, ten dollars goes fairly far when buying fast food, and I manage to get a coffee, a water bottle, and a couple sausage-looking items that I guessed was good, based on their scent.

My lips were blue by the time I got back to the hotel, the cardboard tray of drinks shaking in my hands. I walked quickly up to the room, balancing the food in my hands. Dimitri has left the door unlocked, but when I slip inside, I am astonished.

The sheets have been ripped off the bed, the pillows laying on the floor. The armchair sits at an odd angle, and one of the mattresses is sitting almost entirely off of the side of the bed frame, obviously having been kicked repeatedly.

And Dimitri sits on the other bed, head buried in his hands, his shoulders slumped and shaking.

But when the door clicks shut, his head snaps upwards. The look on his face pains me, and I slowly hold up the paper bag and tray, a peace offering.

"I brought food," I smile, but Dimitri just stares blankly at me. He slowly rises off of the bed, his entire posture seems to indicate that I will snap any second, as if he'll move too quickly, and he'll spook me, making me lash out, or run.

"You didn't leave," he murmured. "You came back."

I smile again, shrugging. "Yeah, well..."

He looks down at the food in my hands, raising a brow. "I got breakfast," I explained. "I used my own money. What I had left..."

Dimitri just looks blankly at me. "You left without the money I had given you." I thought of the card, for if I did run away, and would have to live without him.

"You've paid for everything. This is my lame attempt at repaying you."

Slowly, he nods again, still seemingly in awe.

"I'm not accepting the money," I tell him.

"Rose..."

"No," I say more firmly. "I'm not accepting it, because I'm not running away again. I'll go back to Court, I'll let you take me."

For another moment, his face stays expressionless, but a wide smile washes over his lips, and he pulls me into a tight embrace, the most intimate touch he has initiated since returning to his current state, and gently takes the cardboard tray from my shivering hands.

"Thank you," he whispers into my ear, and gives me the hot coffee to heat my hands.

Afterwards, we eat in silence. Even though the sun shines brightly, we both slip into bed, exhausted, emotionally and physically.

But I am unable to quiet my mind, and I lay there for hours.

I was going back, back to Court. Back to my life.

It has seemed like forever since I've seen my friends, my parents. I'm anxious, but one thing, probably the root of my insomia, haunts me.

I can feel a small sting that he, the former love of my life, has been paid to capture me.


	14. Train Wreck

I could hear the buzzing, the electronic clattering around on the table. I squeeze my eyes shut, as if that will somehow numb my hearing, but, obviously, I had no luck, and the sound continued. I reach out blindly in the dark, groping the bedside table, and my fingertips brush the vibrating phone.

"...ello," I mumble weakly.

"Oh my _God! Rose?_" squealed a voice on the other end. I grunt.

"Shhh not so loud..." I mumble.

"Where are you? All you alright? Why did you leave? Come back, Rose, please! Why do you have Dimitri's phone?"

"Liss," I slur. "It's like, three in the morning here. I don't even remember the first question."

"Really? I'm so sorry! It's only around seven in the morning, here... Oh, Rose, I can't believe I'm talking to you! Where are you? I'll come and get you right away! You know I will! Rose-"

I groan again. "Too late, Liss. Already got caught by the Russian."

Lissa laughed in relief.

"I have a name..." came weakly from the other side of the room.

"Yeah, but it's too early to remember. So yeah, I'm fine, Liss. We'll be back to Court when they start letting the planes land.

Liss sighed. "Rose, why did you leave?" I can hear her voice, thick with tears.

"It's complicated."

I can hear my best friend sniff loudly. "That's not an answer."

"Liss, you know we'll talk _when _I get back."

"And you _are _coming back, right? Rose, you've really got to stop running away."

I chuckle softly. "Yeah, well I stay when my life starts going according to plan."

Lissa gives an exasperated sigh. "If that's the case, I'll never see you again!"

"Liss, I've got to go. I'm already exhausted, and Dimitri's not going to be happy if he has to deal with me tomorrow."

We bid each other goodbye, a pang going through my chest. I feel tears build up in my eyes.

"Two days back," says a voice from beside me. "And it will be like you never left."

I smile, my mind, once again, being read.

"But I want things to be like they were before all of this crap happened."

I could hear his deep breathing. "I do too, Rose," he whispers. "I do too."

...

Due to the early start this morning, I end up sleeping in more than usual. I wake up to the sight of Dimitri, in all his godliness, sitting in the armchair next to the window.

Reading a western novel.

I sit up and rub my eyes.

"Morning, Sleeping Beauty." Dimitri's eyes don't even stray from the pages of his books.

I snort. "Have you seen _my _hair in the morning?"

This time, he does look up, not raising his head, but just his playful eyes. "Either that, or during our practices you _wanted _to look like that."

"Shut up," I mutter, and the jerk smirks and returns to his book. I climb out of bed and into the bathroom, running a brush through my hair. After getting changed, we trade, Dimitri slipping into the bathroom while I flop down onto the office chair.

Bored, I spin in the chair, my eyes catching the mirror on the wall. I look thin, more like a Moroi than Dhampir, but am definately starting to gain weight. When living on my own, I was forced to survive eating only every few days, and my body had suffered for it.

I had lost most of my curves, and the features on my face looked sharper.

Suddenly, a figure appears behind me, his head cropped by the top of the mirror.

"You're looking better," Dimitri states, noticing how I am studying myself in the mirror. "Healthier."

I nod and shoot him a grateful smile, knowing that he is the only reason that I am getting better. But I quickly hide my emotions.

"The doughnuts are helping," I say, grabbing the chocolate ring off of the desk, one that Dimitri brings me every morning in exchange for my promise to not leave the room.

His face stays emotionless, and he nods curtly before turning back around.

"So, what's on the agenda for today?"

Dimitri sits on the edge of the bed and begins to slide on his shoes. "We're leaving," he says simply. I immediately brighten.

"We're going to Court?" I say excitedly, but Dimitri shakes his head.

"No, we're going to Baia."

...

Dimitri tugs me along through the crowded train station. "Why are we going to Baia?" I ask again.

Dimitri sighs, his eyes trained ahead. "Because it could be a very long time before they allow us, or any other planes, to enter Court. So we're going to be staying there in the meantime."

He gives a quick tug to my hand and pulls me onto the train. He walks fast, and I struggle to keep up. When we reach the tiny room, Dimitri allows me to enter before him, then closes the door and pulls down the blind.

The room is incredibly similiar to the one that I shared with Sydeny, although it appears we don't have any roommates.

"No one's staying with us in here?" I ask. Dimitri shakes his head, then gracefully sits on the small bench, pulling out his book.

"I bought four tickets. We've got the whole room."

After several seconds on silence, I grow bored. "I'm going to see if they have anything to drink."

Dimitri shoots out of his seat. "Absolutely not."

I raise my brows. "Excuse me?" So much for trusting me. "Dimitri, where am I going to run on a _moving train?_"

He sighs and gently grabs my wrist, leading me onto the hard, red benches.

"Rose, strigoi have been known to target these trains. I never sleep on my way to Baia. They're dangerous."

I nod. "So why did you make up the bed?" I ask pointedly.

"So you could sleep."

I snort. "That's stupid. We'll shift it, I'll guard at night-"

"No, Rose, you need to sleep."

"Says the guy who fell asleep on the hotel floor." That shut him up. "I'm guarding at night-"

"Rose-"

"So it's settled!" I say brightly. "Goodnight, Dimitri."

When I leave no room for arguement, Dimitri sighs and kicks off his shoes, falling into bed.

"Goodnight, Rose."


	15. Sorry!

**Sorry! Wrong chapter posted! Forgive me!**


	16. Return to Baia

"Rose, Rose it's time to get up."

I groan and roll over, throwing the pillow over my head.

"Rose, you need to get up. We're almost there, Rose. It's time to get up."

I throw the covers off of myself. "Okay! Okay! I'm up!"

He smiles, looking tired.

"You okay, Dimitri? You look exhausted."

He shrugs. "I'm fine."

"Liar. You look like shi-"

"Rose," he scolds. "And thank you, for the compliment." His voice is thick with sarcasm.

I roll my eyes. "Well, you do." I sigh loudly and sit beside him on the bench. "Are you still not sleeping well?"

Dimitri shifts, looking uncomfortable.

"Dimitri..."

He sighs, giving up. "No, Rose, I'm still not sleeping well."

"How long has it been since you've had a good night's sleep? I mean honestly..."

"Rose-"

"No," I interrupt. "I'm worried about you. You're not sleeping. You're hardly eating anything..."

"I'm fine, Rose. You need to stop worrying about me."

I snort. "Says the man who travels halfway around the world to find me."

"That was different."

"Of course it was."

Before he can muster a response, the train screeches to a stop, and Dimitri rises, holding open the door for me.

He grabs my wrist before I can get ripped away in the crowd. The train is swarmed, and I can feel him start to lose his grip.

"Dimitri!" I try to shout out, but as we step out of the train and into the incredibly crowded station, the noise level intensifies.

I try to grab his hand, but I only end up twisting my wrist out of his grip, and I get swept away in the sea of people.

...

I press myself up against the brick wall, panicking.

I was in a strange city, a strange _country. _I had idea where to go, no idea how to find Dimitri.

"Excuse me?" I tap a man on the shoulder. He looks at me gruffly and lets out a rapid string of Russian before disappearing into the crowd.

I can feel tears begin to build up in my eyes. My phone was with Dimitri. I didn't have any change for a pay phone. I was scared. Very scared. How strange, that I could fearlessly attack strigoi, while a sea of harmless humans made me shiver with panic.

"Rose? Roza?"

I see a hand appear, and I grab onto it, being pulled between passerbys.

Dimitri tugs me against his chest. "Are you alright?"

I nod and press myself against him, holding onto him tightly. He wraps an arm around me, leading me through dense multitude of people.

"How do you know where you're going?" I ask, and he smiles down.

"I've done this before. You're just used to Montana, where it takes you hours to find another person."

I laugh and burying myself further against him when another wave hits us.

I hear him mumble something in Russian, his voice in awe, and he starts to move faster. I hold onto him tighter.

"Dimitri..."

He grips onto my waist and continues to pick up speed. We burst through the crowd and into a less bustling area, only to see Dimitri's entire family waiting.

I look up at him and see the smile on his face, the tears in his eyes. It takes me a minute to realize that my arms are still clamped around him, and I quickly let go.

Paul begins to run forward, wiggling away from Karolina's grasp. The Belikovs watch, mystified, as fearless Paul jumps at his Uncle, allowing himself to be lifted into the air.

Dimitri wraps his arms around Paul, whispering to him in Russian, patting him on the shoulder.

And with that, his entire family rushes forward, coming at him, and they surround him, Olena falling into his arms first.

He moves to each of them in turn, wrapping his arms around his mother, kissing Karolina's forehead, stroking Sonya's hair. Viktoria jumped full-on into his arms. He kissed her cheek and held her tightly.

It was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen, excluding Dimitri himself, of course. I smile, tears falling from my eyes.

Dimitri smiles, a beautiful smile, and talks quietly to Viktoria, after several more seconds, he seems to realize I'm not there. He looks around frantically before his eyes meet mine. He walks over to me and places his hand on the small of my back.

Olena gives me a tear-filled look and wraps her arms around me. "Oh, Roza. How will we ever thank you?"

I shake my head and embrace her tightly, unable to speak. "No need," I whisper.

She laughs again, cupping my face. "Roza, you came to Russia, told us the news, then you save my daughter's life, and my son's soul."

"Technically, Lissa saved him. Isn't that right, Dimitri?"

I twist to face him, and, to my utter shock, he looks..._ashamed. _Really, truely ashamed. Hell, now I feel guilty. Olena looks between us, a look that says she knows something's up.

But Viktoria steps towards me again, her look of shame looking eerily similiar to that of her brother's.

"Rose, I didn't mean to insult you, I didn't mean to call you a liar. I just-"

"I know, Viki. It's alright," I reply, and give her an awkward embrace. Karolina and Sonya talk to me rapidly. They ask me questions, what happened, how I was, and I asked about the babies.

Apparently Yeva is at home, watching the babies. I promise them I'll explain everything when we get back to their house.

After a long, awkward drive, me, of course, sitting beside Dimitri, we finally arrived.

When we entered the Belikov home, Yeva jumps up, giving him a hard embrace before turning to me, kissing both of my cheeks and speaking in Russian.

Wide-eyed, I turn to look for anyone who could translate.

Sonya speaks up. "She says she is so happy that you were able to bring him back. That when she received her vision, she could scarcely believe it herself."

She quickly leads me to the couch, and shoves Dimitri down beside me. They all settle in the living room, staring at us expectantly.

Dimitri lets me talk most of the time, explaining what he remembered before he was turned, then a few sentences here and there.

Karolina, always the romantic, looks heartbroken. "Oh Roza, Dimka, I'm so sorry!"

Dimitri and I don't look at each other, don't even sit close enough for our shoulders to touch.

Yeva sits back against the large armchair, hands clasped. She speaks sharply, and Dimitri turns bright red, and looks away, his eyes looking scolded and humiliated.

I had never seen him like this. His family's jaws' hung open, Karolina bit her lip, almost hesitating to translate.

"What did she say?" I ask. "What did she say!"

Karolina looks down. "She asked-"

But Yeva speaks up. "I asked," she says crisply, her eyes never leaving Dimitri. "Why he abandoned the woman who saved him, why he threw her away for his own _feelings. _His mother did not raise him to be so disrespectful to those who help him. He is disgracing his family."

Her voice is bitter and disapproving, and I slowly glance towards Dimitri. His hands are shaking, his eyes turn downwards. Dimitri had always had a good reputation, and all the stories I'd heard of his childhood were him were doing what he was told, when he was told. He thrived on approval, and now, he seemed to have to disintegrated.

"No, he didn't," I say, rising, much to everyone's shock.

"Roza," Viktoria whispered. No one speaks back to Yeva.

"No!" I say, turning back to her. "No, he didn't. He's in _pain. _You have no idea what he's gone through. Yeah, I might not agree with all of his choices, but he's not..._disrepecting _me. And he's certainly not disgracing his family. He hasn't done anything to shame you, all he wants is your approval. He _needs _his family! And if you're going to just cut him out of your life, than _you're _disgracing _him! _So who raised _you _to be so disrespectful to your own _grandson?_"

By the end, I was panting. Everyone looked at me with utter shock. The infamous Hathaway temper had flared. All I was missing was the red hair.

Yeva rises, and I expect her to hit me, to curse me out, but she simply nods and looks at Dimitri, who sits frozen on the sofa.

"See?" Yeva says. "She defends you, even from your own family, even when you hurt her. She loves you, Dimka, and you are so obviously in love with her. Don't do this to yourself."

And she walks away.

He looks up at me, awe on his face.

"Rose-"

But I shake my head. "I'm sorry," I whisper, though I'm not sure what for, and rush up to the room.

...

But when I get up to the room where my bags were taken by Viktoria, I freeze. My bag sits on the dresser.

But so does Dimitri's.

We're sharing a room.

"Rose," says a voice from behind me, then it stops, breathing deeply.

Dimitri brushes past me, grabbing his bag off of the dresser. "I'll move my things downstairs."

"No!" I cry, and take his bag and setting it back down. His eyes seem to shine, but it is gone by the time I grab onto my own luggage.

"I'll sleep on the couch."

Dimitri quickly grabs the handle of my duffel bag. "No, you can sleep here."

I tug at them. "This is your house!"

"It's yours too!"

We both freeze at his comment. "They consider you to be family," he murmurs, and hauls his suitcase out of the room.


	17. Breakfast At Belikovs'

**Hmm. Well, I decided to do something a little different and post chapters that actually belong to the right story. I am, once again, sorry for posting the wrong chapter! It was for another one of my stories.**

**Hope you enjoy the change of pace!**

* * *

I awaken the next morning, the sun streaming in from the window. For a moment, it feels as though I've never left the Belikov household. Perhaps this past year has been a dream.

But I creep down the stairs and see Dimitri at the kitchen table, drinking a cup of tea.

Tea.

I sneak down the rest of the way, hoping to scare him, and flop down on the chair across from him. "Morning!"

He nods to me, as if he heard me all along. "Good morning."

The air around us is tense and uncomfortable. It's like we can barely speak to each other, like each time we get close, he suddenly realizes what he's doing and quickly pulls away. To ease the steady tension, I get back up, scurrying around the kitchen, making myself a bowl of porridge.

I can feel him watching me, every move. Sometimes I want to shake him, tell him he's being an idiot, but I stay silent, sitting down and digging my spoon into the bowl, I pretend not to see his gaze.

"Rose," he whispers, "Thank you."

I nearly choke on my breakfast. "What? What for?"

He sighs, reaching across the table, gently placing his palm over mine. "For standing up for me. My grandmother can be..._harsh, _but she always has a point."

"Yeah, harsh to put it lightly."

"I'm sorry you had to get caught up in this. I'm sorry you had to get hurt."

I jerk my hand away. "I didn't _have _to get hurt, Dimitri. You made that choice."

"Good morning!" Olena says brightly, walking into the kitchen.

Dimitri immediately stands without another look at me and walks out of the room.

I sigh, looking back into my bowl. No apology. Not a _I'm sorry I hurt you. _But no, it wasn't his fault. Not if I _had _to get hurt. God, he acted like it was unavoidable, like he had no role in what happened.

"Roza," she whispered. "What's going on between you and Dimka?" It was blunt, straightforward and honest, but I expected nothing less from her.

I sigh. "It's complicated."

Olena smiles. "It always is. You seemed so in love with him the last time you were here. Now, you two barely look at each other." She grabs my hand in her own. "Is there someone else, Roza?"

I cannot believe Dimitri's mom just asked me that. I mean, she's his _mother. _Yet, she seems kind of cool with it, like if I were her own daughter.

"No," I admit. "But Dimitri's the one who broke it off."

Understanding flashes across her features. "Oh. That explains my mother's anger."

I nod. "Yeah, I guess."

"I apologize, Rose. I know she can be harsh. But she has odd ways of testing people."

I sink into my chair. "But look what it did to him."

She gives me a sad smile. "And look how happy it made him when you defended him."

I shrug. "Not happy enough, apparently."

I feel childish, stupid, like a spoiled teen who wasn't getting what she wanted.

Olena pats my hand. "He'll come around. He always does."

My whole heart begging her to be right, I nod, and rise from my chair, getting ready for the day.

...

"Rosemarie Hathaway!" A voice shouts from downstairs. I quickly jump down the stairs, practically flying down the steps, and instinctively tense, ready to fight.

But Viktoria stands there, hands on her hips, waiting. I raise my brows at her, but she only smiles.

"Finally. We're going to go and see Nikolai!"

I laugh. "Are you two dating yet?"

She blushes and shakes her head. "_No."_

"Where-"

But the vibration of my phone in my pocket makes me pause. I quickly pull it out and answer it, ignoring the questioning gazes, especially from Dimitri, who sits on the couch, book in hand.

"Hello?"

"Little Dhampir! What. The Hell."

I bite my lip, feeling guilty despite his jesting tone. "Hey, Adrian."

I quickly pivot, so I cannot see Dimitri's expression, cradling the phone.

"Do you know," he scolds playfully. "How worried I was?"

"By the sounds of it, not at all."

Being the weird, mood swinging man he is, his tone changes in a heartbeat. "Rose, I was so worried. Are you alright?"

I nod, for some stupid reason, as this conversation is taking place over the phone. "Yeah, Adrian. Dimitri found me."

"So you're with him? _Alone?_"

I smile again. "_No. _Are you jealous?"

He snorts. "Of course not. He's no competition."

I laugh back. "Look, if you keep phoning me from Russia, you're going to give me quite the phone bill."

"I'm paying for it."

I can barely refrain from laughing. "That you do. But Viktoria Belikova is dragging me to meet some of her friends."

"Hey!" Viktoria cries.

"Her very _interesting_, awesome friends!" I exclaim, for Viktoria's benefit.

Adrian chuckles. "I do believe you're trying to ditch me."

"_Never._"

He snorts, and I can just imagine him rolling his eyes. "Sure. Well, better go, Little Dhamp. Glad to see you're alright. Stay safe, Rose."

"Bye Adrian."

And he's gone. I turn back to the Belikovs, all of them seeming to be watching Dimitri, who has returned to his book, although his eyes are not moving across the page.

"So... Who was that?" Viktoria asks, trying to be nonchalant. I roll my eyes.

"Adrian Ivashkov."

Viktoria's eyes narrow, ever so slightly. She had heard rumours of our dating, but now that her brother was back, she didn't seem to think to highly of it.

"Well, shouldn't we go?"

Viktoria drags me out the door, walking briskly, hands shoved into her pockets.

"What?" I ask, knowing that look, fearing that look.

She sighs. "I wish you just take Dimitri back. He misses you, it's pretty obvious."

I almost choke on the cold winter air. "_Take him back? _Take him back! He's the one who broke it off! Totally not my fault! Why does everyone assume that it's me? I didn't travel across the globe and back just to break up with him!"

Viktoria freezes. "I just thought... Well whatever, you should talk to him. He needs you. He's lonely."

"Then get him a dog," I propose, knowing that I sounded sour, but not really caring. Even I am surprised. I had fearlessly defended this man, and now I was acting like a dumped, angry teenager.

Viktoria raises a brow, a single brow.

"_What?_"

She shakes her head. "Nothing," she replies. "I just can't believe you actually said that. I mean, really."

I groan. "Viktoria, I am so not getting into my love life with you."

"Why not? You know about mine!"

"It's your brother!" I shoot back. "Unless you want to know all the dirty details, because there was this one time-"

Viktoria claps her hands over her ears, just like I knew she would. "Alright! You win! Please, I'd rather not hear any _dirty _details about him. I still see him as my twelve-year-old brother who let me follow him around like a puppy."

I laugh. "He sounded like quite the brother," I point out.

She smiles, tears in her eyes. "Yeah. He was my best friend. I used to stalk him, follow him around everywhere. I was thirteen when he left for the United States." She shook her head. "He only phoned three or four times the whole time he was there. The first few, he didn't seem to like it very much. Said the buildings were all boxy and there wasn't anything to look at. I dunno. But the last call was a few months before he was turned, and his perspective definately changed. I would love to go there, just to see."

I nod, but the feeling within me flutters. _A few months before he was turned. _

When I was at the academy.

* * *

**I have a plan on where this story's going, but for _anyone _who has any ideas on what they want to happen, PM me! I'd love to hear from you!**


	18. Broken

"Dimitri!" I call. "Dimitri, I'm sorry!"

I have forgotten a coat, as always, and the cold bites at my arms. He walks at the same, steady pace, his freakishly tall legs making me run to catch up.

"Dimitri, please stop!" I break into a run, grabbing onto his shoulder. At first, he shrugs me off, but when my fingers firmly dig into him, he spins.

His expression is unreadable, his eyes wild. "Leave me alone," he hisses.

"Dimitri-"

He sighs. "Please, Rose. Just this once. Leave me alone."

I bite my lip, unsure of what to say. "I'm sorry, Dimitri, I'm so-"

I freeze.

Nausea creeps up like a curling, wispy fog, crawling up my abdomen, leaving a thick, musty coating. "Dimitri..."

Closer, the feeling crawls into my throat. He is giving me an odd look, staring at my wide-eyed, slack-jawed expression.

"Rose?"

"They're coming," I whisper, quickly doing inventory. Two sort-of Guardians, in their night clothes, with no stake.

"Who is? Rose, are you alright? Rose, who's coming?"

I gulp. "Strigoi."

He tenses, grapping my shoulders. "What? Rose, what are you talking about?"

"I can feel it," I stutter out. "I can feel them."

Dimitri's brows furrow in confusion. "_Feel _them?"

And it suddenly occured to me. Dimitri didn't know. He didn't know that I could sense Strigoi. He'd seen the strigoi at the same time that I had before the fight at the academy, and I'd had no time to talk to him afterwards.

"Dimitri," I explain. "We don't have time for this. It's a shadowkissed side effect. But they're _coming, _please, you have to believe-"

He jerks my wrist, running full speed down the street, me scrambling to catch up. We fly past houses, Dimitri mumbling under his breath. Until, that is, I feel a sharp tug on my other wrist, sending me sprawling backwards.

It's as if we've been driving, only to hit a brick wall. I feel the familiar snapping of whiplash as my head jerks back, and I am ripped out of Dimitri's grip.

"_Belikov?" _says the incredulous voice. "We heard you we turned back. Thought you had the brains to stay away from here. Guess I was wrong."

I don't even look, just swing my fists upwards and over my head, connecting with my target. Considering where his hands are, I'll either hit his neck, jaw, or nose. Every one of them is a good option.

The man grunts, and I spin to face my attacker. I expect Dimitri to come help me, but when I don't feel his presence come any closer, angry and bitterness builds within me.

I am alone.

And stakeless.

I strike, again and again, him blocking every time. I use everything I can, but with no stake, he remains undefeated.

When I hear Dimitri cry out, I quickly turn. He's on all fours, clutching his abdomain. Four strigoi surround him. _Four. _He really is a god. But, being severely outnumbered, one of the strigoi had obviously managed to get a wicked shot. Before I knew what I was doing, I was running.

Running forward, running towards Dimitri. As the strigoi reaches out, fangs bared, I barrel into Dimitri, knocking both of us over and out of the way.

My eyes water as a sharp sting radiates through my scalp. I am pulled up by my hair, off of Dimitri.

I kick and scream, but he holds me fast.

Dimitri is up, his eyes glinting deadly, the moonlight shimmers over his stony face. I can _feel _as the man lowers his head towards my neck, slowly, as if to taunt Dimitri, the very essence of him tells me of his power, of his age.

The Guardian inside of him launches forward, and I can't help but think of the cafe. _Don't touch her_. He looked like he would have fought every guardian in the place. The man squeezes his fingers together, my hair tightening like a vice, but quickly throws me aside. I fall to the ground, my head cracking against the pavement. My world swims with dark, swirling colours.

But the edges of my vision darkens as the man steps down, pressing my wrist between his foot and the curb. My wrist, thin and frail, snaps crisply, and a stinging, roaring, pulsing heat sweeps up my arm and into my head.

I scream.

I think I can hear Dimitri screaming my name, but it is washed away quickly, drowned by my frenzy of other senses. Tears stream from my eyes, but with one last act of desperation, I reach out and pull the ring off of my finger.

Oksana's ring.

My fingers are swollen, and the pain of tugging it off of my broken hand is almost my undoing, but I manage to slide it off.

White, gauzy figures swarm, sweeping and swaying, screaming silence into the night. I watch as the figures bend and blur in my vision, and I fight to stay awake.

Slowly, so slowly, they begin to fade, the nausea shrinking, until it is gone altogether.

"Rose? Rose can you hear me? Talk to me, say something. What happened, did you hit your head? What did you do? Rose, say something."

I groan and lift my heavy, aching head. Dimitri leans over me, crouched on the balls of his feet. "Rose? Rose?"

I nod, wincing, and allow him to help me up. He pulls me into sitting position, letting me lean my head against his shoulder as I sway. I moan in pain.

"Rose..." he whispers, quickly removing his jacket while balancing me. He ties the leather sleeves behind my neck, and slips my twisted and mangled arm into his makeshift sling. He half carries me the two blocks back to the Belikov household, murmuring into my ear, things I can't understand.

Laying me down on the couch, he quickly disappears, I breathe deeply through the pain, surprised that I didn't pass out like I did when I broke my ankle.

Suddenly, two faces appear, hovering over me, their eyes identical. The leather arms are removed from my neck, my broken wrist cradled in soft hands.

"Oh, Roza," Olena mutters. "What happened?" She turns to Dimitri. "Please tell me you didn't do this."

Dimitri face molds into a guilt-ridden mask. _Guilt?_

_"_No," I murmur groggily. "No, it's not his fault. Really. Strigoi..."

Olena gently pushes my head back onto the pillow.

"We have to take her to the hospital," Dimitri insists, but Olena shakes her head.

"No, we cannot. Look at her. Scratched, bloody, bruised and broken. There's going to be questions, Dimitri. Questions that humans cannot have answers to."

"We can't just leave her! She'll never be able to use that hand again!"

"What?" I cry, trying to sit up. "No! This is... this is my dominant hand. This is the hand that I stake with! I have to use it, otherwise-"

"Shh," he whispers. "It's okay, I didn't mean to upset you."

I just shake my head, my exhaustion and stress causing tears to fall down my cheeks. He holds my hand as Olena works and repositions my wrist, I try not to cry out. She wraps thick layers of bandages, spiraling around my arm.

"What happens if it doesn't heal right?" I whimper. "What if I can't use my hand anymore? What's going to happen? I can't... I can't go back if I can't guard! I can't-"

Dimitri shifts me in his arms, careful not to jar my wrist. Olena flicks her eyes upward from her work, watching.

"Rose, it's alright," Dimitri soothes, pulling a loose strand of dark hair from my face. "You'll be fine. When we get back to Court, Vasilisa-''

"But what if my wrist has already healed by then? She can't heal something that's not broken, even if my arm is _mutated!_"

I begin to panic, shaking enough to send a sharp fire through my wrist.

"Roza, you're arm won't be mutated. Just be still, okay? It will all be alright, I promise."

How easy it was to just sit back in his arms, to let him take care of me.

"Okay, Rose, we're going to have to wait a few hours until we can get some things from the store. We'll make you a cast."

I nod, and Dimitri helps me lay down on the couch. I watch him and Olena talk quietly in Russian, before their voices become blurred, and their images fade to blackness.

...

I awaken to a cold compress sitting against my arm. I crack open my eyes. Olena sits on the floor beside the sofa, smothering plaster and bandages onto my wrist.

"Good morning, Roza," she smiles, without even looking up.

"How's my arm?" I ask.

She sighs. "I don't know, Roza. I hope it will heal normally. I'm sorry about being unable to take you to the hospital."

I shake my head. "It's okay, Olena. I just... If I can't guard, I don't know what I'm going to do with my life."

She nods, finishing with the last bandage, her eyes not meeting mine. "Maybe," she says softly. "Dimitri feels the same way."

Before I can respond, he appears in the door, fully dressed, hair tousled and eyes imprinted with shadows, looking concerned.

"Rose, how are you feeling? There's something for the pain, if you need it. It's over-the-counter, but it might help a small amount."

I nod, mumbling a thank you. We stare at each other for a portion of a second before both turning away. I cannot believe how distant we had become in a matter of seconds. I had shielded him with my own body for God's sake.

Olena sighs loudly, bringing us out of our thoughts, and finishes off my cast.

"Okay, you'll have to let that sit until it dries. I'll go make breakfast."

She disappears into the kitchen.

Dimitri follows.

I groan and rise off of the couch, frustration creating a pain in my stomach. I push myself up, carefully cradling the moist cast in my arms.

* * *

**I know this chapter jumps forward, and Rose is suddenly running after Dimitri, but this is crucial to the story, just you wait!**


	19. Forgotten

**Yes! I know the last chapter was a little vague, but it was meant to be like this, don't worry!**

I woke in a hazy fog. The last thing that I remembered was sitting in the kitchen with Dimitri. My arm throbbed, and when I looked down, I saw it was heavily bandaged.

_What the hell? _

I quickly jumped out of bed, throwing the covers off of my body.

"Olena!" I cry. "Olena, what's going on?"

Panic sets in, true, irrational panic. I run into the kitchen, waving my casted arm.

"Roza, is something wrong?"

The Belikov family sits at the kitchen table, eating breakfast, Dimitri drinking a cup of coffee. They stare at me like I've lost my mind.

"What happened to my arm?"

Okay, more weird looks. I wait expectantly, no one speaking. My heart races, my breath becomes ragged. I open my mouth to repeat my words, but Olena's voice cuts into the silence.

"You broke your arm..."

"When?"

She bites her lip and exchanges looks with her family. "What do you mean, when? Rose, do you not remember yesterday? What's the last thing you recall?"

Dimitri rises quickly from his chair, the wooden legs groaning against the tile floor. "We went out with Viktoria's friends. We met them at that coffee shop..."

I feel like I am explaining this to a child, but they stare at me, disbelieving.

"Roza, that's it? That's all you remember?"

I nod, feeling tears rise to my eyes. "What's going on?"

Dimitri, in an odd, sudden act of closeness, steps foward, kneeling before me, his hands resting on my shoulders, looking deep into my eyes. "Rose, that's the last thing that you remember?"

I nod slowly. He looks back at his mother. "Rose, you don't remember the strigoi?"

_Strigoi? _I shake my head, repressing tears. "No."

"Dimitri," Olena whispers, "Did she hit her head during the fight?"

He freezes. "Yes..."

I look between them. "But my head doesn't hurt!" Using my free hand, I pat my head, covering the entire area, feeling no twinge of pain.

Dimitri cups the back of my neck, and massages my scalp gently. "Nothing?" he whispers huskily.

I shake my head. "No."

"If she was hurt enough to cause a concussion, shouldn't she have, at the very least, a bruise?"

Olena nods. "Yes, she should. Dimitri, what happened that night? Why were you two outside?"

I look at him expectantly, but he shakes his head. "Dimitri-"

"No," he states gruffly. "We need to get her checked out. This could be serious."

Yeva clears her throat, speaking rapidly in Russian. Dimitri nods, grabs onto my fully-functioning arm, and drags me towards the front door. He pulls the sleeve of my coat over my cast, then helps me with the other sleeve, and throws on his own. Without a glance backward, he pulls me out the door.

By the time I realize that my legs are incredibly sore, I am already stumbling helplessly behind Dimitri.

"Please," I groan. "Wait. My legs."

He doesn't look at me, but instantly slows. I limp into the driveway of a familiar house, and Dimitri knocks on the door.

It opens, and Oksana gives out a sharp cry of surprise at seeing Dimitri. He tenses, and stays that way when she absorbs him and throws her arms around him.

"Dimitri!" she cries. "How?" She looks... tired. Extremely tired.

Mark appears at the door, leaning against the doorframe, and claps Dimitri on the back, pulling him into a masculine embrace.

"I don't have time to explain. Please, this is about Rose."

They seem to notice me now, and Oksana kisses both my cheeks before pulling me into the house.

She leads us into the living room, sits us on the couch, and is about to turn towards the kitchen, but Mark shakes his head.

"I'll make it," he says, completing some mental conversation they've shared.

Oksana sits across from us, taking each of our hands.

"Is everything alright? Rose, I didn't think I'd ever hear from you again, and Dimitri, I thought, we thought..."

Dimitri nods curtly. "I was, Oksana, but Rose's bondmate brought me back."

Oksana's jaw drops. "That's not possible!"

Dimitri replays the much shortened version of our tale, speaking quickly to avoid any interruptions. He brushes past some pretty major events, but I stay silent, sensing the tension within him.

Oksana nods robotically along, and I'm not entirely sure if she is absorbing the information.

"Oksana, Rose and I were attacked by strigoi a few days ago. She might have gotten a concussion, and her memory's questionable. Do you think you could heal her?"

She blinks in surprise, the automated expression leaving her face. "Losing her memory? Rose, is your bondmate here with you? In Russia?"

I shake my head. "No, she's back in the States. Why? Is she the only one who can heal me? What's going on?"

Oksana shakes her head. "No, Roza. This isn't about a concussion or about healing. At least, I don't believe so."

At this point, Mark comes into the living room, carrying several tea cups and a kettle.

"Rose?" he asks, like he's been a part of this conversation all along. "How long have you been away from your bondmate?"

I quickly do the math. "A few months..."

Oksana and Mark exchange glances.

"What's going _on _with me?" I beg desperately, the panic setting in again, as if I am waiting for some terminal diagnosis.

Mark sighs and runs a hand through his short, salt-and-pepper hair. "Rose, your mind might be malfunctioning because you're so far away from the Princess. Your bond is calling out to her."

I am suddenly cold, a chill sweeping over my body. "But... But... I've been away from Lissa before! It didn't effect me then!"

Mark looks puzzled. "Have you checked the bond lately? Been inside her head?"

I freeze, and shake my head. Mark nods.

"Blocking her just makes the desperation grow faster. She's a part of you, Rose, and your body can't function without her," Oksana informs me. "I wish I could heal the darkness from you, it might help, but... But I just healed Mark yesterday. I just can't, Rose."

I can feel tears burn in my eyes. "So, if I was away long enough, it would still have happened, it just would've happened faster if I had blocked her?"

Mark nods, looking sympathetic. "Rose, it's time that you went home."

But this time, it's Dimitri who shakes his head. "They're not allowing any flights home right now. Strigoi numbers are becoming extremely high, and there have been an extraordinary amount of attacks in the past month."

I turn to him, fire and fear blazing within me. "But I'll go crazy!" I cry. "We have to go back! If I'm losing my memory, what else will happen? We have to go back! _I _have to go back!"

Mark pats my hand, as if I'm a young child. "Rose, before I became Oksana's guardian, they tried to keep me away from her. For several months, we had to keep at a distance, because of our relationship. I started to experience some of the same effects you have. You _need _to get back to Vasilisa, Rose."

...

Dimitri and I step out of the house. I am completely numb, my hands shoved into my pockets. I look at the ground, unable to lift my heavy head, my whole body shaking with fear.

"Rose," Dimitri says finally, breaking the silence and drawing me from my wallowing fears. "Please don't worry. We'll figure something out."

I laugh, surprising myself. A short, sharp, harsh laugh. "Figure something out? Anna was seperated from Vladimir after he died! And she _killed herself? _Is that what you want to happen to me?"

Dimitri grabs my shoulders, treating me as if I'm being hysterical. I squirm, but he holds me fast.

"Rose, I know this scares you, but I won't risk your life! And I won't let you hurt yourself!"

I feel myself calming, the panic seeping from my body. I sniff loudly.

"Dimitri? What happened that night? Why were we outside? Why didn't we have stakes?"

He sighs loudly, looking reluctant to answer, but when I place my hand comfortingly on his shoulder, he breaks.

"You and Viktoria came home late, about a half hour later than her curfew. I... I had been up waiting for you, worried sick. I told you that I wasn't going to allow you out anymore."

I feel a pang of familiarity. "_Allow _me?"

He sighs. "Yes, that's what you said. It's my duty to bring you back, and I said that I couldn't keep giving you easy opportunities to escape." He looks away not meeting my eyes.

"Dimitri?"

He doesn't even look at me, but continues speaking after several moments. "You got very angry with me, and told me that you _wanted _to go back, and that you missed your friends. I... snapped. I told you that it didn't matter, that I wouldn't let you run away, that I'd do my duty like I promised to do.

"And that's when... that's when you said that I wasn't to be trusted with promises, because I promised to protect you and _'look how that turned out.' _And that you didn't belong to me, that you weren't my property, and if that's what I was going to treat you like then I might as well bite you, because even if I did get my soul back, it didn't mean that I had gotten back any decency."

I froze, and although I hated to admit it, it did sound like me.

"I... I just had to get away. I left the house, and you followed. I didn't think to bring my stake. It was my fault."

"Oh, Dimitri. I'm-"

"Please, Rose, just _don't._"

To my surprise, he didn't walk away, he just stayed frozen, waiting for me to continue. Even in broad daylight, he wouldn't leave me.

For a change.


	20. Anger and Darkness

I wait not-so-patiently as Olena cuts throught my cast. I can hear the cracking of plaster, feel the tugging on my arm, but I stay still, completely obidiant.

"Okay, Roza. We're done."

I jump off of the couch, cheering. To my dismay, my wrist movement is extremely limited. I swing it around, but seems to only move up and down.

Seeing my depressed expression, Dimitri, who sits on the couch across from me, book in hand, looks up. "Rose? What's wrong?"

I groan and flop down on the sofa. "My wrist. I can barely move it."

He slides forth, perching on the edge of the cushion, and takes my hand in his, wiggling it around.

"Does it hurt?" He asks, moving his grip to hold me in a firm handshake.

I shake my head. "No."

He doesn't seem to hear me, but continues to examine my wrist. "Rose, we might be able to work some movement into your wrist. It'll take a lot of work..."

I jump up. "You'll help me train?"

He pauses, but slowly nods. I feel a thick smile fall onto my lips. Before I can register my movements, I jump on him, holding him in a tight embrace.

"Thank you! So much!"

He stays stiff and rigid, but finally, _finally, _his shoulders soften ever-so-slightly, and he pats my forearm gently before stepping away.

"Start tomorrow?" he asks. I nod frantically, another smile crashing onto the shore of my lips.

"Roza, you need to sleep. If you start training tomorrow, I want you rested," Olena says firmly.

I nod, climbing the stairs, my newly freed arm swinging and bending at angles I hadn't felt in weeks.

Getting ready for bed was hardly a chore, and I was done within minutes.

But before I can slip into the cool sheets, his fist flies at my face. Stupidly, I duck, so instead of his fist hitting my side, it crunches into my shoulder, and I fly backwards.

"What the hell?" I cry out, wondering how I ended up sitting in the grass.

"Rose? Are you alright?" Dimitri asks, stooping down to kneel beside me. He is suddenly standing in his trackpants.

"Why did you punch me?" I ask, the volume of my voice rising.

"We were sparring!" he replies, horrified. His hair is tousled, and he leans over me, panting.

"What?" I squeak. "Two seconds ago I was getting into bed!"

Dimitri's eyes widen. "Rose, that's the last thing you remember?"

"Yes!" I yell loudly, too loudly.

His brow furrowed, and he pulls me to my feet and drags me into the house. The sun has risen in a matter of seconds, seemingly, the quiet house now filled with activity.

"Mama!" Dimitri calls. He then slurs off into flawless Russian, and Olena appears in the doorway.

She replies in Russian, and I am left to stand helplessly off to the side.

Dimitri glances at me, but his gaze drifts again.

"Sorry, Roza." Although his face is pained and concerned, I force myself to repress a smile.

He called me Roza.

"Rose, we'll wait until we get back to Court to start your training again. I'm not going to risk-"

"No!" I cry. "You can't! My wrist! If I don't start training now, I might not _ever _be able to use it again! Dimitri, please!"

He shakes his head. "No, Rose."

"You have to!" I beg desperately. "Please!"

"_No, _Rose."

I give a small, dry sob of anger. "This could ruin my life!"

"I won't stand for you getting hurt again!"

"Well, I never would have broken my arm in the first place if _you _hadn't hurt me! I wouldn't have even _come _to Russia if you hadn't told me that you hated me!"

Feeling overwhelmed by emotion, I rush up the stairs, needing an escape. I throw myself onto the bed and fight tears, clutching the pillow to my chest. A knock on the door is the only thing that raises my head.

"Please, go away."

But the door cracks open anyways. "Roza?"

I sniff loudly. "What, Viktoria?"

She sits at my bedside, and gently places her hand on my back. "Oh, Roza. I had no idea, I'm so sorry." I shake my head, burying my face into the pillow.

"Rose, if you're interested... Tomorrow night, my friends and I are going to a party. It's not going to be anything crazy, but I thought you'd like to come."

"I don't know..." I was rapidly pulling excuses, trying to come up with a polite way to get out of this.

"Come on, I won't take no for an answer. You'll get out of the house for a few hours! By the time we get back, everyone will be in bed! Please, Rose? Come with me?"

I raise my brows. "This wouldn't have anything to do with your mom telling you that you can't go alone?"

Viktoria blushes, and I laugh. "Alright, alright. I'll go."

...

Luckily, I had spent much of my time in nightclubs, and had several decent dresses to wear. Viktoria, this time, has a much more appropriate dress than the last time I saw her, and her eyes are no longer thick with makeup.

"You girls have fun!" Olena smiles from the livingroom. Dimitri just watches emotionlessly over the pages of a book, but quickly sets it down and stares at me.

"_You're _going too?"

I can hear the tension in his voice.

"Yes..."

Before he can open his mouth, Olena slips in. "Dimitri, she deserves a night out. It's just one party."

"What if she tries to run? What if she loses her memory? What if a boy tries to take advantage of her? What-"

I roll my eyes, but I feel some sympathy for his concern. "Dimitri, leave me alone. I'm fine. I'll be fine, alright? Goodnight, Olena."

We slip out of the door, our heels clicking against the concrete sidewalk. The cold air is biting at our bare legs, and from blocks away, I can hear the pounding music.

To my shock, when we enter the house, my vision is swept with muscular, grinding figures.

An all Dhampir party.

Couples pulse and grind, people not nearly as slutty as when I was at the mixed-species nightclub. Nikolai appears instantly, assisting Viktoria with her coat.

I stick by their side most of the night, my excitement over leaving the house fading once I realize what an outsider I really am. I turn down every offer to dance, just sitting off to the side.

Until I hear a voice behind me.

"Care to dance?" he asks. His hair is shaggy and dark, falling over his eyes in straight sheets. He's the absolue stereotypical tall, dark, and handsome.

I feel drawn to him. I follow him to the dance floor, and allow him to pull me dangerously close to him, letting him put his hands on my hips. I can't help but move closer and closer. His dark eyes shine, a flirtasious falling onto my lips.

But a sick realization sweeps over me. And what my memory sparks makes me sick to my stomach. I shove away from him, pushing my way through the crowd. Spotting Viktoria, I quickly locate her coat and pull her away from Nikolai, exiting the house.

"_Rose? _What the-"

"We need to leave. Olena told us to be back by midnight."

"We've still got twenty minutes!" Nausea fluctuates through me as I think of his face, his features, his eyes. And I'm absolutely sick.

I sigh. "But not by the time we walk home. She's been through enough, I don't want her worrying." I lie smoothly, flawlessly. It was true I hated to think of Olena worrying, but my intentions on leaving had nothing to do with it. It was the familiarity of the boy.

"I know my mom. She'll be in bed, she won't be up worrying about me."

Her point is only proven when we walk through the door, greeting a pitch black room. She shoots me a _See? _look and disappears up to her room.

And I follow.

...

I grab a glass from the cabinet, careful not to slam the door. It's in the ungodly hours of the morning, but after hours of tossing and turning, thinking about the boy at the party, I cannot sleep. I jerk the tap upwards.

I won't admit it to anyone, but that boy, the boy I had danced with, he _was _Dimitri.

At least to me.

In appearance, I was reminded of him, and I needed to feel close to him. Desperately.

It made me sick.

Suddenly, the lights blink on behind me. I spin, so surprised that I drop the overflowing glass of water.

But before it can crash to the ground and wake up the entire household, he catches it. Unfortunately, the cup is upside down, and it soaks the bottom of his pajama bottoms.

"Sorry!" I squeak, and fall to my knees, using a cloth to mop the water. He bends beside me, hovering dangerously close.

"It's alright."

He gently takes the cloth from my hands.

"Dimitri," I murmur. "I'm sorry. I know you were worried. And I didn't really ease your fears." Somehow, I feel that if I apologize, I would become closer to him.

"It's alright, Rose. I was irrational. I just... I didn't want to give you the opportunity to run. You had hours to just disappear, and it frightened me."

Woah. No way did Dimitri just open up to me like that. He was always so composed and serious, shielding me from all thoughts and emotions.

"You didn't need to worry," I inform him needlessly. He smiles.

"I'll always worry."

I felt a familiar dark feeling creep into my gut, but I repress it.

"I'm a big girl, Dimitri, I can take care of myself."

He rears back, looking at me with shock. "Obviously not," he says defensively.

I narrow my eyes threateningly. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"It _means, _who knows where you would be if you hadn't been found. You couldn't even get a job here. Rose-"

"You have _no right!" _I hiss.

"Uncle Dimka?" Paul comes into the room, rubbing his eyes. "Roza?"

We exchange quick glances. "Why are you up at this hour, Paul?" Dimitri asks tentatively, his eyes never leaving mine.

"I heard voices," he murmurs sleepily in reply. "Are you okay?"

"Yes, Paul," I lie. "Go back to bed."

He looks between us, sensing tension. I smile, an elastic, pasty smile, and nod, mussing his hair gently. I pat his back and lead him back to his room, pretending that I don't feel Dimitri's glare behind me.

* * *

**Sorry it took so long! Please review**


	21. To Change

I woke up in a less-than-wonderful mood, which was reasonable under the circumstances.

The position of the sun told me that I had slept in, so I quickly dressed and made my way down the stairs. The kitchen was unusually quiet, but I happily flopped down at the table, drumming my fingers on the worn wood.

"Good morning," I chirp, and Olena doesn't even turn around, but I can hear the smile in her voice.

"Good afternoon, Roza."

I smile to myself and get myself a glass of orange juice. "Quiet, today," I point out, enjoying the short, sweet conversation with her.

"Viktoria's out shopping for school supplies with Karolina, Soyna's at work, and Dimitri and Paul are still sleeping," she explains.

I can't help but raise my brows in surprise. "Dimitri? Really? Dimitri Belikov? Sleeping in?"

She laughs. "You'd be surprised. I practically had to pull him out of bed on school mornings."

I loved the way her eyes light up when she thinks of her children, as children. "Did he stay up late last night?"

She shrugs. "Must have. He was still up pacing when I went to bed."

I smile to myself. "Always was a worrier."

As if summoned, Dimitri stumbles in, his chest bare. "Mama," he greets, then looks at me, his face falling ever-so-slightly. "Rose."

I blink in surprise at his tone. "'Afternoon," I mumble. He doesn't reply.

I narrow my eyes, and can see Olena's wide eyes looking between us. She looked no more confused than I was.

"I'm..." she flusters, "Going to grab something from the store. Watch Paul." And shes gone. Poor woman, always trying to avoid a fight.

Dimitri ignores, me pouring himself a cup of coffee.

"I _said, _Good Afternoon."

He sighs and drinks his coffee, staring out the kitchen window.

"What is your _problem?_" I cry, losing my patience. He spins with a fury, his muscles tense and tight.

"_My _problem? Do you want me to just pretend last night didn't happen?"

I roll my eyes. "You can't control my every movement! It was just a party! One party!"

"I'm not talking about the party!"

"Then what the hell are you talking about?"

He groans and sits down on the chair across from me, burying his head in his hands. "You don't remember. You don't remember. Oh, Rose, I can't do this anymore. I just can't."

It breaks my heart to see him like this. "Dimitri, we had a fight again, didn't we?"

He just shakes his head. "I don't know what happened. We managed a civilized conversation. But then you just... I don't know. Please, Rose, I'm not trying to blame this on you, I just-"

"It's alright. No, I can believe that it was my fault. I'm sorry, I hope I didn't say anything to hurt you."

He smiles, a pain-filled smile. "Rose, how can you be worried about me? Why are you always worried about me, even after-"

I take his head across the table, feeling the familiar rush. "The same way you worry about me, after everything that's happened."

He squeezes his eyes shut, tiliting his chin downwards. Paul comes into the room, smiling broadly. "Morning, Pauly," I tease, and he sticks out his tongue at me for the nickname.

"Mornin'." He pours himself a bowl of cereal and sets it on the table, where Dimitri's and my hands formally had been joined.

I gaze at him, still wondering how he could only be six. When I first saw him, I was sure he was at least ten. But with Dimitri's height, I suppose it's no suprise.

Karolina had him when she was only twenty, but the vampire world tended to get married and have kids very early in life. When death and destruction hid behind every corner, no one knew whether there was a tomorrow; there was no reason to wait.

Viktoria crashes in the door. _God, it's just a building party, isn't it?_

"You're up!" She says happily. "All danced out?"

I shake my head, hoping she doesn't bring it up.

She does.

"Gonna call him for more?" she teases, and I groan. Dimitri looks at me, bewildered.

"Who?"

Viktoria realizes her mistake, but it's too late.

"Nothing, Dim-"

"Viktoria..."

She sighs, looking at me with an apologetic face. "She just danced with a guy, Dimitri. It's not a big deal."

Oh, yes it was. _A guy. _A guy who I had only danced with because he reminded me entirely of Dimitri. How desperate was I?

Dimitri nods, but I can tell he's not happy a about it. Too bad. I was entitled to a life.

At this point, even I could tell my defensive side was coming out. I could completely shut myself away, and no one could win an arguement when I was in that mood.

"How was shopping?" I say weakly, diverting the focus.

She smiles, and holds up bags of binders, paper, and who knows what else. "Good."

She sets them down and sits between us. "You both woke up late."

We nod simultaneously. "Yeah, late night," I reply, watching him, although he makes no effort to have eye contact.

I can tell by her eyes that she knows something's up. I had always been able to read those eyes.

"I should get changed," Dimitri whispers, and quietly leaves the kitchen. I groan and sink back into the kitchen chair.

Viktoria grabs my hand. "Oh, I'm so sorry!"

I shake my head. "No, Viktoria. It's not you. It's Dimitri."

I turn my head to stare after him, although he's long gone. I smile smally at Viktoria and follow him.

...

"No. No. She's fine."

I can hear the whispered voice through the door, deep and throaty, like he has something to hide.

"At my house. Yes. I don't think that's wise. What if-" A long pause stretches over several moments. "Are you sure? I promised I'd bring her back, didn't I?"

_Oh God, oh God oh God. _All I could think of was _'I was hired to bring you back.'_

"Yes, Abe, calm down. She's fine. A broken arm, that's it... Yes, you're right, it is a big deal. She... Look, we'll discuss this in a few days. Bye."

I can't breathe, can't move as a dark feeling creeps into my stomach, but Dimitri opens the door, and sees my expression.

"How much did you hear?" Is his only question.

I narrow my eyes. "You were hired by my _father? _My dad!"

His shoulders sink. "It's not what you think..."

"Like hell," I hiss. "How much is he paying you?" I demand. "How much do you get for bringing me back?"

"Rose-"

"No," I choke, tears filling my eyes. "No, nevermind. I don't want to know."

"Rose, please," he starts forward, but I quickly back down the hall, and try to nonchalantly jump down the stairs. But Viktoria catches me as soon as my feet hit the bottom step.

"Roza...?"

"Rose!" Dimitri calls, quickly coming up behind me.

I take a step towards Viktoria, seperating us. "No, Dimitri."

At this ideal moment, Olena enters the house. "Roza-" she freezes in the doorway, looking between us.

"Dimitri? What's going on?"

I raise a brow, trying to keep my eyes from watering. "Care to explain?" I put on a false smile.

He sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose. He rubs his face, avoiding our eyes.

"Rose, please, just listen to me," he begs, and I nod sharply in response.

He squeezes his eyes shut. "Rose, I'm so sorry, but when I told you I was hired to bring you back, I may have...exaggerated."

I can hear Olena's intake of breath, and Viktoria booms, "_Hired?"_

But his gaze never leaves mine. "Rose, yes, I am bringing you back to your father. But he _technically _didn't hire me."

I scoff. "Technically?" I question, and he sighs, rubbing the back of his neck, as if embarrassed. He shoots a glance at his family, as if pleading for privacy, but Viktoria crosses her arms and plants her feet on the ground.

Turning back to me, he answers, "Rose, I... I offered. He was going to send some of the people who worked for him, he would have come himself had it not been for Janine. But I offered to come and get you. I told him I wanted to, that he would have a better chance of finding you."

"How much," I demand, "Is he paying you?"

Dimitri just shakes his head. "Nothing. He's not paying me anything, Rose. He offered to, but I turned him down."

I cannot believe what he's said, after all this time. "You... turned him down?"

"This isn't a job, Rose, not to me. This is something personal. I wanted..." he continues to run his hand awkwardly over his hair. "I wanted to find you myself. I wanted to make sure you were alright."

I bite my lip, tears springing to my eyes once again.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I whisper finally, and he lets out a shaky laugh.

"Because... Rose..." he can't seem to come up with a response.

"I'm sorry," I whisper. "I'm sorry I keep picking fights with you."

He uncrosses his arms, and I slowly embrace him, the guilt welling up within me. He obviously didn't expect it, because he tenses up. But unlike last time, the stiffness drains from his body, and he rests his palms gently on my hips.

"Oh, Roza, I'm sorry, too."

I kiss his cheek, and when we pull away, I see that Olena has tears in her eyes.

Dimitri gives me a small smile. "I should..."

He doesn't finish his sentence, but he begins to lean forward. I prepare myself, but he doesn't kiss my lips, or even my forehead. He seems to change his mind, offering only a smile before heading back up the stairs to change.

* * *

**Please review**


	22. Lost Memories

I circle my torso, dodging his punch and giving me enough momentum to thrust a punch at his chest. But unfortunately, he easily brings his forearm up, brushing mine aside. My wrist is tilted painfully to the side, and I wince.

"Stop."

I sigh loudly and take a step back. When a guardian called a break during a spar, you did it.

"What?" I groan.

"What do you mean, what? I saw you, Rose, you were in pain," he replies, examining my arm.

"It was just-"

He sighs, cutting me off. "Rose, I don't want to hurt you even more. I think we should return to weight-lifting."

I moan childishly. "No! Please, I'm doing good, Dimitri. I was fine! I promise. Please, look, I'm already getting some of my flexibility back. Look!" I rotate my wrist, watching it's slightly lopsided journey.

Dimitri doesn't look convinced. "Weights, Rose."

I grumble and move towards the shelf. We were in the Belikov's unfinished basement, which held a plush gym mat and a small shelf of weights, as well as a punching bag. I pick up the fifteen pound. No, it wasn't exactly going to qualify me for any weight-lifting competitions, but my strength had been severely weakened.

At the end of our 'training session,' Dimitri would hold my wrist and stretch it, gently bending it back, moving it from side to side.

He nods in approval. "Very good, Rose. Hopefully by the end of the year, you'll have at least _close _to full mobility."

My disappointment grows. "Dimitri, it's January."

He smiles, a stupid, sarcastic smile. "But it's _late _January."

"Kids!" Olena calls from upstairs. "Lunch is ready."

We bound up the stairs, both starving from our pratice. We grab sandwiches off of the plate, shoving them greedily into our mouths.

"How's the wrist?" asks Viktoria between bites.

I smile. "Doing well, now that Dimitri _finally _agreed to train me."

His entire family smiles, and I laugh at his groan of irritation.

"I was being considerate."

I snort. "You just didn't want to fight me," I tease. Dimitri growls and steals my sandwich right out of my hands and takes a bite. I squeak and try to grab it back, but Dimitri just keeps me at arms length and finishes it quickly.

I huff playfully and grab another one, trying to shield it from Dimitri's reach.

Olena shakes her head. "You two have been fighting for hours. Don't you ever have enough?"

"No," we both reply, grinning. I kiss Olena's cheek, thanking her for lunch, and we return to the basement.

"Can we spar?" I beg, feeling oddly giddy. But Dimitri shakes his head, and I pout. Memories of the academy flash through my head. It's like nothing's happened at all.

"No, Rose. We've been over this."

I repress a smile. "Oh, please? Please, please, please, please, plea-"

"Alright! alright!"

I smile, for the millionth time today, and bound over to the mat, getting into a fighting stance.

My the freakishly happy, giddy feeling evaporates as Dimitri pins me again. And again.

And again.

I growl in frustration and push myself off of the mat after hours of sparring. "Again."

"Rose, it's already dark out-"

"Once more?"

He sighs, pushing the fallen strands of hair away from his face. "Alright. Once more."

We circle, like bull and temptress, though I am the one to lunge. He dodges, and kicks my feet out from under me. I stumble onto the mat, my cheek hitting the blue vinyl.

Dimitri's on me in an instant, his palms pressed against the back of my hands, his chest on my back.

"Win," he whispers, his lips next to my ear. The pressure from his body disappears momentarily before he flips me over. I stare at the ceiling, groaning.

"Are you okay?" he asks, and I can't help but nod, because he is laying on top of me, palms on either side of my head, body pressed against mine. He pauses, looking deep into my eyes, searching for something.

I gulp. "Are... Are you okay?"

He jumps off of me, not even offering me a hand. "Yeah. Yes, I'm fine."

He begins to pace, turning away from me, his head bent. I step forward.

"Dimitri-"

But the second my comforting hand touches his shoulder, he explodes, turning sharply, slapping my hand to the side.

"Don't."

I growl. "I'm just trying to help you! Don't take this out on me, I didn't do anything!"

"I'm not taking this out on you! Just don't touch me, okay? Don't?"

"What, like this?" I yell, shoving my hands against his chest. He takes a step back, but his eyes narrow.

"Don't touch me!"

I move forward to push him again, but he grabs my hands, twisting them behind my back and pressing me up against the wall. I wait until his ragged breath smooths, until his grip loosens.

"Dimitri," I murmur softly.

I feel as his hands become shaky, and he leans his forehead against my shoulder, panting.

"It's alright," I whisper, and gently turn, so we are face to face. I slip my hand up to his jaw, stroking his cheek with my thumb. This time, he leans to my touch, his eyes closing. "It's going to be alright."

Suddenly, his eyes open slowly, and he leans forward. Our lips meet, and his kiss is slow, but needy.

But, as always he tenses, pushing away. "That shouldn't have happened. I don't-" he gulps. "I don't feel that way about you."

I repress tears, feeling the same sting, the same pain. "Don't worry. I don't feel that way about you either. I miss Adrian, is all."

And I flee. I run up the stairs and fling myself onto the bed, hugging the pillow close to my body.

Sobbing, I pick up my phone from my bedside table, and dial, hearing the comforting ring.

"Adrian," I whisper. "Please come get me."

...

A new morning, a new day, although one filled with pain, as all of them seem to be.

I stretch in bed and quickly brush my teeth and hair, exiting my room. I bound down the stairs, pouring myself a glass of orange juice.

"Morning, Olena," I say, trying to hide my sadness. I was used to it by now. My wrist felt tight and tense, and I wonder if I slept on it wrong.

She smiles. "Good morning, Roza."

All of the sudden, the man I never, _ever, _expected to see again, see _alive _at least, appeared in the doorway.

"Dimitri," I breathe.

He freezes. Tanned, brown-eyed, god-like. Slowly, he raises a brow. One perfect, mortal brow.

I throw myself at him.

"I thought," I sob. "You were strigoi." I cling on to him, wrapping my arms around him.

When I look up from his solid chest, he's giving me the _Rose-is-crazy _look.

His arms don't go around me, like how I fantasized. Instead, they are lifted, as if he is afraid to touch me. He just stares at me, heavy bags under his eyes, like he hasn't slept at all.

"Rose, what-" he sighs. "What's the last thing... that you remember?"

I clench onto his shirt. "I... I remember the caves... and you were taken. And I came to Russia to come find you. But then there was an attack, and this guy named Abe brought me to our family's house, and I've been here ever since."

He lets out a shaky breath and steps out of my arms. I try to reach for him, wanting him close to me.

"Dimitri! Wait, what did I do? Please-" I choke on my own tears.

"Dimka," Olena whispers. "Honey, she doesn't remember. She doesn't understand, don't do this to her."

He stares at his mother for a long moment, before slowly turning towards me, lifting his arms.

I rush forward, and he kisses my forehead, rocking me slowly. Dimitri leans against the kitchen counter, and my height is closer to his, allowing him to rest his chin on the top of my head.

"Shh, Roza," he murmurs softly. "It's alright. It's going to be alright. I'm here." He then trails into a string of Russian, and I can hear a sniff from the always-romantic Karolina.

"But how?" I whisper. "And what do you mean I don't remember? I don't remember what? And Dimitri, you were taken. I saw you. And Mason said you were strigoi! And I was so scared... Oh Dimitri, I love you so much!"

He tenses, and Olena decides to answer for him, and I turn in his arms to face her, squeezing Dimitri's hand. "Roza, you were here for the first time over a year ago. Lissa used her Spirit to turn Dimitri back into a dhampir. But lately, you've been having memory lapses, but they've _never _gone back this far."

A headache throbs in my temple as I struggle to absorb this information. "No..."

But the looks on their faces tell me that they're completely serious. "O...Okay... But... why am I here again?" is all I can say, is the only dialogue that I can muster, however stupid.

Olena smiles, and Dimitri's grip around my waist loosens. I press myself against him, feeling the loss.

"Because, Roza, you ran away from Court. Dimitri came after you... He came to find you."

"Why did I run away?"

Olena shakes her head, a _maybe another time... _response, but Dimitri's cracked voice comes from behind me.

"Because of me."

He releases me and walks briskly from the kitchen, never looking back.

...

"Dimitri?"

He looks up from his spot lying on the couch, his eyes leaving his novel. He notices me, and seems to sink into himself.

I sit on the armchair across from him. "Are you alright?"

He nods sharply, eyes travelling back to his Western. "Yes."

"Doesn't sound like it."

He sighs loudly. "I'm _fine, _Rose."

I flinch, clenching my hands in my lap. "Okay. I'm sorry."

Dimitri sighs again, but this time, it's tired and regretful. "I'm sorry, Rose. I don't mean to be this way. We just- A lot has happened between us, and I can't... I just can't..."

I nod, as if I know what he is about to say.

"Hey," he murmurs. "Look at me."

But I keep my eyes on my lap. "Rose, please."

I slowly lift my head, meeting his gaze.

"What's wrong?"

My emotions betray me, and I sniff, shaking my head.

"Roza, tell me what's wrong."

My chest heaves with a sob, and I managed to catch the rest of my tears before they depart. "I thought you were dead. I thought I was going to have to kill you. And know you're suddenly back and you're always angry with me and I don't know what I did. Please, tell me what I did. I don't-"

He is up from his relaxed position, and his arms go around me awkwardly. "Rose, I'm sorry. I know you don't remember. I don't mean to do this to you, really. I'm just... I'm having a hard time, lately, and I can't seem to get through it."

I smile and sit on the edge of the couch, brushing his hair gently from his face. "Hard time with what?" From his look, I can tell I won't get an answer. "You know, you just made me tell you what's wrong. The least you could do is the same."

He looks down and his hands. "I can't tell you. Not when-" he sighs.

"Not when what?" He shakes his head.

"Dimitri, you don't have anything to be afraid of."

So slowly, he looks up at me. Those eyes. I could have drowned in his soul, and by the looks of it, he had drowned in his own.

"Rose," he chokes, "I did some terrible things as a strigoi. I... I murdered innocent people. I... I killed a little girl. I _fed _off of you, I used you as my own personal bloodwhore. And that's all you were to me. A bloodwhore. You were something I wanted to own. You were going to be nothing more than my possession."

He stops suddenly, turning his face away from me. My heart explodes. I would give anything to remember.

"Hey," I whisper. "Stop it. Dimitri, you don't think I know you regret those things? I know you, you're a good man, and you're always going to be my hero. But pushing me away isn't going to solve anything."

He sighs and buries his face into the armrest of the couch. "I can't-"

"Shh." I kiss his forehead and pull the blanket up over his shoulder. "Yes, you can. I understand if you just need time."

I lift myself off of the couch, but stop when I feel a gentle tug on my hand.

"Don't go," he whispers.

Slowly, he slides to the back of the couch, and I lay down beside him, letting his shaky breaths turn deep and dull; the kind only sleep can bring.


	23. What Happened To Me?

As I walk into the kitchen in the morning, I realize how obvious it was that I truely had been gone from this place for over a year.

Paul was an inch or two taller, and was starting to lose some of his toddler qualities. Sonya was no longer pregnant, and her baby was already walking.

Things had definately changed between Dimitri and I. I couldn't help but wish I remembered what had happened between us, but feared those memories had been forever lost.

Dimitri seems to feel my eyes on the back of his head, because he turns, and gives me a small smile. "Morning, Roza."

I force myself to frown. "Who are you? And how do you know my name?"

Dimitri tears out of his chair so fast, it crashes against the tile floor. "Roza?" He gasps, his voice completely ragged with panic. His eyes are wild, and I crack up.

"Sorry, I couldn't help it. You should have seen your face." I grab a muffin off of the table and flop down in the chair across from him, grinning.

His chest heaves, and slowly, slowly, he quietly sits. "That wasn't funny."

I laugh. "Sure it was!"

He growls. "It was cruel." I can detect a supressed smile threatening his lips.

"Aw. Poor Comrade."

Suddenly, his eyes change, like a crystal ball smoking and shining. "Haven't heard that in a while..." he whispers, smiling weakly.

I knock interrupts me from speaking, and Paul yells "I'll get it!" and rushes from the room.

"Mama!" Karolina smiles and goes to see who's at the door.

Seconds later, I hear, "Roza," and I, too, follow the parade through the living room.

_He _stands at the doorway, looking a little nervous, the one personality I hadn't seen him try on.

"_Adrian?" _

He smiles broadly, and rushes forward, wraps his arms around the tops of my legs, and spins me around.

"Little Dhampir! You have no idea how much I've missed you!"

He gently pecks my lips before kissing my cheeks and forehead. He sets me down and holds me close to him, smiling at the Belikovs.

I am shocked. Adrian has never shown this much affection for me. At least not pure, loving affection. I'd been on the recieving end of some pretty suggestive ideas, though.

To my surprise, the Belikov family does not seem to be welcoming him with open arms. Even Olena has a fake smile plastered on her face. _What the hell?_

"Sorry," Adrian apologizes politely. "I'm Adrian Ivashkov. Pleasure to meet you."

Another shock for the day. "A-Adrian," I stutter. "What are you doing here?"

He pulls away, looking at me with a confused look. "Rose, you called me four days ago. You asked me to come and get you."

Now, it is my turn to be confused. "I did?"

"Yeah, you were pretty upset..." he trails off, as if questioning his own sanity.

Olena sighs. "Sorry, Lord Ivashkov. Rose... Rose has been experiencing some memory lapses. We think it's due to her absence from her bondmate."

Adrian nods slowly. "Rose? What do you remember?"

I laugh. "I pretty much forget the last year. Apparently."

He immediately releases me. "I'm sorry. I guess you don't remember..."

I take a step forward, always eager to hear about what memories I have lost. "Remember what?"

He sighs. "We were dating, Rose. We were together for... I guess it was close to seven months."

"Really?" I squeak. "Adrian, I'm so-"

He shakes his head, giving me a sad smile. "It's okay, Rose. You broke up with me right after they dropped the charges."

"What? Charges? I was in _JAIL?_" I squeal, feeling incredibly light-headed.

"God, don't these people tell you anything?" He asks playfully. "Tatiana was murdered. Tasha framed it on you."

_Oh, God, I'm going to faint. _"Ta- Tatiana? The Queen? And Tasha _OZERA?_"

Dimitri immediately comes to my side, holding onto my elbow. "I was hoping to give her this information _slowly,_" he growls. "Roza, come sit down."

He leads me to the couch, and I immediately flop down, close to hyperventilation. Dimitri rubs soothing circles into my back. "Maybe we should stop-"

"No!" I cry, trying to grab for Adrian. "What happened? What happened to me?"

Dimitri's fingers begin to press into my back even harder. "Roza-"

"She has a right to know," Adrian states. "It's her life."

"She's panicking!"

"Tell me!" I screech, caught in between the two men.

Dimitri groans. "Tell her. Before she drives herself into a frenzy."

Adrian sighs, and launches into a tale, straight from a story. I was riveted, and it was my life.

Adrian sighs at the end, taking my hand. "And then you ran."

"But why?" I beg. "Why did I run?"

Adrian exchanges glances with Dimitri. Dimitri finally nods, pushing himself off of the couch, away from me. "Just tell her. She'd find out eventually. This couldn't last."

I grab at Dimitri's hand, holding onto it so tightly that he cannot pull away. Adrian sighs. "Rose, he told you that his 'love had faded' or something along those lines."

I clench my gut, trying to keep it from spasming in pain. "Is that true?"

He squeezes his eyes shut. "Sounds that way, doesn't it?"

My palms are now sweating, and he slides his out of mine. "I knew it couldn't last," he whispers to himself and walks briskly out of the room.

"Dimitri! Dimitri, wait!"

But he doesn't turn around.

...

"Done packin'?"

I smile and turn, throwing my duffel bag over my shoulder.

"Yep. Have you called Lissa yet?" I ask, feeling thrilled beyond belief to finally be going home.

"No," Adrian replies, grinning. "I thought I'd leave it as a surprise."

I let him lead me down the stairs, where my whole going-away party is waiting.

The Belikovs shower me in found farewells and warm wishes. I get phone numbers, email addresses, everything that I failed to get the first time.

Dimitri won't even look at me. He gives his family a heartfelt goodbye, but leaves quickly, trying to avoid me. It breaks my heart, I'm crushed.

But Yeva breaks the awkward silence, the pitied looks.

She pats my cheek gently. "He'll come around, child. He's a man, he needs to lose you to find you."

I blink in surprise, and nod robotically.

Smiling slightly, we make our way to the car. Dimitri is already packing our luggage into the trunk.

"Dimitri-"

He turns sharply on his heel, moving to the front of the car, and slamming the driver's door.

* * *

**Please review!**


	24. Train Wreck: Part 2

The train sways and rattles, rocking it's occupants to a deep sleep. I, however, was unable to rest; I was wide awake, burdened with thoughts.

Dimitri is awake as well, but he, at least, has an excuse: guarding the door from strigoi. He sits on his bottom 'bunk,' while I watch him from my space on the top, across from him. Adrian snores softly above Dimitri, and probably hasn't moved in about three or four hours.

I am starting to see why I had dated him, because apparently I had. He was sweet, very sweet, and obviously cared about me. But I knew that my heart was still Dimitri's, and, hell, until my _love fades, _it would continue to be.

Using whatever ninja-skills I could muster at one in the morning, I slip out of my bed, my toes catching the edge of the bottom bunk, and I creep along the wooden piece. The room is small, and I am able to reach over with my leg and touch the other side, and I swing myself over.

Dimitri is hunched on his own bed, head buried in his hands, shoulders curved.

"Dimitri," I whisper, and run my hands up his spine, a soft massage. But he jerks away quickly.

"Don't," he hisses, his eyes flicking towards a sleeping Adrian.

I growl. "What? Why do you keep pulling away from me? I thought we'd been over this! I thought-"

"You thought wrong!" he whispers harshly. "Yes, Rose, I appreciate how I was able to discuss this with you. But you _know. _Just like you knew before. The reasons didn't change, Rose. You changed. You forgot. But I can't be with you, and that's final."

I feel tears spring to my eyes. "But you protected me. When the Guardians came to arrest me, you defended me. You wouldn't let them take me. You-"

"You shouldn't remember that! How do you remember that? Are you lying? Is this some attempt to manipulate me? By pretending that you don't remember the past year? To try to make me believe that you're completely innocent and harmless? Well, it's not going to work! I'm not falling for it, Rose." His voice is dangerously loud for the night, although his voice is barely above a whisper.

I choke on my own sorrow, trying to get the words out. "No," I whisper. "I'm not trying... I'm not trying anything. I know because Adrian told me. He told me about what happened when they came to arrest me. I'm not trying to trick you into anything, Dimitri. I'm not lying to you." The accusation tastes bitter, and tears dampen my lashes.

Dimitri's face softens. "Oh, Rose, I'm so-"

"Save it," I hiss, and try to push past him. This small room suddenly seems too cramped.

"No, Rose." He grabs my arms and pulls be back into the room. Although I struggle, he holds me tightly.

"Let me go!"

"It's too dangerous for you to be out there by yourself. I'm not risking-"

I cry out in frustration, finally waking Adrian. "Hey," he says sleepily. But he rapidly forces himself awake.

"Hey, let go of her!" He jumps down from his bunk and slips in between us. "What the hell are you trying to do to her, Belikov?"

Dimitri looks taken aback by an accusation of his own. "Wha- Nothing! No, I- We had an argument. I wasn't- I wasn't going to hurt her. I was trying to protect her. I-"

I sigh. "Adrian, he wasn't trying to hurt me. It's alright, it was a stupid fight."

But Adrian's eyes never leave Dimitri. He stares him down, before gently touching my shoulder. "Go to bed, Rose. I'll make sure you fall asleep alright."

I nod, but watch the horror in Dimitri's eyes at what Adrian was even suggesting.

My ex-boyfriend sits on the side of my bed, his eyes never landing on me for more than several seconds. He is too busy guarding me.

From the guardian.

...

The screech of wheels come at a god-forsaken hour, and screams sound like they come from the room beside ours.

Dimitri is instantly up. Despite training his entire life for the one purpose of protecting the Moroi, he grabs me first.

I am only kneeling on my bed when he appears in front of me. His palms go to my hips, and I can only grab quickly onto his shoulders before he pulls me off of the bunk. He hasn't trained in months, but he easily carries me across the room and sets me on the ground, motioning for me to get on the floor, before grabbing Adrian by the shirt and shoving him down.

The train jerks violently, and Dimtiri is thrown off balance. He falls roughly onto the floor, grunting from the impact.

"Dimitri!" I scream over the commotion. He slides on his stomach over to me, before forcing me down. He hovers over me, pressed against my back, and shields my head.

The locomotive rocks dangerously to one side, and sickening screams echo through the vehicle.

I whimper in fear, but Dimitri grabs one of my hands, and Adrian holds the other. "It's happening," Dimitri murmurs in my ear. Whether I was meant to hear that, I'll never know. "The strigoi. They've targeted the train."

With a scream of anger, the entire machine rocks heavily once more, before the whole thing crashes to it's side.

The three of us slide across the wooden floor, Adrian ending up under the bed. I narrowly avoid hitting my head on the frame, but Dimitri smashes his back against the leg of the bunk. He cries out, just as the train begins to shake again.

Dimitri, fighting against the shuddering vehicle, manages to stand up. He grabs my hand, along with Adrian's wrist, and throws us upwards, where we cling to the other bunk. The door is now over our heads, as the train has fallen horizontally, and Dimitri is forced to jump for the door. Barely able to grip onto either side of the door frame, he manages to open it. It swings violently downwards, and slams against my left shoulder.

I scream, more scared than in pain.

"Rose!" Dimitri yells against the moaning of the train. He climbs into the doorframe and pulls himself up and through, reaching back down to grab my hand. With both of his hands, he grips one of mine, holding onto mine tightly, pulling me through and setting me down, before grabbing Adrian.

The halls were tall and narrow, but now, turned on it's side, the floor and ceiling are on either side of us, the short, narrow walls forcing us to crawl down the corridor, manuvering around wall lamps.

We are forced to jump over other doors which line the "floor" like crevices, and I follow Dimitri loyally. But one violent jerk of the train causes me to fall through one of the doors, into an empty room. I scream and scramble, reaching for whatever I can grab.

That, unfortunately, is Dimitri's ankle.

I fall through, dragging Dimitri with me. As soon as the cold air hits me, I know the window's open below me. I can just imagine myself, falling into the small square, the metal train sliding over top of me, breaking every bone in my body.

But, at the last second, Dimitri grabs onto the side of the door.

He looks down at me, clinging desperately to his ankle. "Roza, hold on. Please, don't let go."

Slowly, so slowly, he pulls himself up, like the chin ups he always made me do in practice. Luckily, he didn't strap an extra hundred-and-twenty pounds onto one of my ankles.

But he pulls both of us up, into the hall, where Adrian quickly assesses me before all three of us set off again. When we reach the end of the hallway, Dimitri throws open the door, and we are swept with a wave of frigid air.

Dimitri squeezes through the horizontal door first, and I follow.

At this point, I am sure that I will die. I could handle strigoi. But when hundreds of tons of metal came upon me, I couldn't fight that. Dimitri is straddling the space between the train cars, one foot on either doorframe, his hair being tossed in the violent wind.

"Roza," he calls to me, reaching towards me with both hands. "You're going to have to jump."

I hesitate, staring down at the snow that is swept under the sliding train. But I climb into his arms, and he guides both of my feet to the edges. The rims are icy, but he holds tightly onto me. My hair is blown backwards, snowflakes piercing my skin.

But through the dark night and swirling flakes, I can see the edge on an enormous cliff, dropping off into certain death.

"Dimitri!" I scream, panic gripping my bones.

"Trust me," he says into my ear, his hands firmly on my hips. And in that moment, I do trust him. I'd trust him with my life.

I have to.

He lifts me up, half-throwing me onto the side of the train, which is now the top; windows line the wall.

I cling to the metal, praying that my fingers, numb from the cold, do not lead me to an icy grave.

Adrian soon joins me, and we both help Dimitri up onto the side with us. The force of the wind is incredible, almost sweeping me off into the snow.

The wind whips around all of us, tugging viciously at our clothing. Dimitri's long coat is thrown into the air.

"We have to jump!" Dimitri yells to both of us. We are all on our hands and knees, peering over the edge of the train. Jumping from this side would mean landing in the snow. Unfortunately, there was a very real possibility of breaking our necks at the speed we travelled.

But, our only other options were to jump off of the other side, or stay on the train, either getting crushed underneath it or sliding off the side of the mountain.

So, I grip Adrian's hand tightly in one of my own hands. The last thing I want my last memory to be is of Dimitri rejecting me, so I stay still. That is until, he makes a move.

He holds out his hand, palm lifted upwards.

"Roza," he says. "Please."

Without hesitation, I grab onto Dimitri's hand with my other; a solid chain. He kisses my knuckles before perching further towards the edge.

"One!" he calls out, screaming over the hissing wind. "Two!" I grip each man's hand with all that I have.

I glance over at Dimitri, trying to make it quick, unnoticable, but see that he's watching me as he speaks. His hand tightens around mine, a hard, solid squeeze.

"Three."

We jump.

The impact is jarring, to say the least, as we all smash against the ground. We tumble through the snow, sliding and rolling, head over heels.

In only a second, I realize that we might not be able to slow down. We might tumble off of the cliff, following the train.

Someone, someone on one side of me, manages to grab onto something. A rock, a root, I am unaware. All I can feel is the sudden and horrible hault. Whiplash strikes through my body, and I am tossed like a ragdoll.

But my arm is violently pulled. And one hand, one of the hands in mine, is torn away from me, ripped out of mine.

I have lost him.

But whom, I do not know.

* * *

**Oh know! Was it Adrian, or Dimitri?**

**Please, no critical comments about the plot of my story! Don't give up on me yet, you know I have a plan!**

**I originally had planned for this chapter to involve a robbery on board, but decided that wasn't enough action, and the aftermath would have to be far too stretched out. So, here you are! The better of two plots.**

**I hope that I described this scene well enough to explain what's going on. The train tipped off of the tracks and fell onto it's side.**


	25. It's All Over

**I just wanted to mention the title of my last chapter, _Train Wreck: Part 2_**

**I got some good-hearted teasing that the first _Train Wreck, _chapter 14, wasn't accurate, because it didn't _actually _have a train wreck. So, here you go! The solution to the problem!**

* * *

I hear as the train groans over the lip of the cliff. I hear the silence as it falls hundreds of feet the the icy depths of the valley. I hear the screams of the metal body settling onto the ground, until a vicious roar bursts from the cliff. Flames shoot upwards, creating a halo of light, surrounding the mountain.

Tears run down my cheeks, freezing before they can slip to my jaw. I strain to look upwards, my neck throbbing and sore. His sad eyes look back at me, and he holds me close.

"No," I murmur, as he gently rocks me.

"He's gone, Rose. He's gone."

Something snaps.

"Dimitri!" I scream, struggling against him. "Dimitri!"

I push Adrian away, scrambling up and out of his arms, kicking away his hands. I run as fast as I can towards the edge of the cliff, but I cannot seem to run fast enough. I collapse onto my knees.

"Dimitri!" I scream, sobbing into my hands. He's dead, gone. I've lost him. My whole body is numb, I can no longer feel the cold. It's over. It's all over.

"Please, no," I whisper, crawling the very edge. I can see the simmering flames below, see the twisted and broken metal body of the cars.

And hands.

_Oh God. _

"Dimitri!" I scream. About fifteen feet below me, on a ledge of rock, Dimitri is clinging with only his fingertips to the edge of the cliff.

"R-Roza," he groans. His whole body shakes, and he looks only minutes away from unconciousness.

"Dimitri! Adrian you have to help me!" I want to sob in relief, but I can't, not yet, not when his arms are shaking so badly, not when he is unable to get to safety by himself.

Dimitri is battered and bloody, a large, seeping gash on his forehead. He sways gently, looking like disoriented. "Roza, I can't hold on much longer," he moans. His voice is soft and distant.

"Shh," I soothe, my voice desperate. "It's alright. I'm coming. Don't let go. I'm coming. Adrian!"

"Rose-"

"He's down there!" I scream, my voice ragged and shaking. "I have to get down there!"

Adrian peers over the edge. His arms are closed around me, and he cradles me to his chest. "It's too dangerous! That ledge is far too narrow. It's a miracle he was able to grab onto it at all!"

"Ro-za!" His voice cracks, he doesn't have much time.

"Are you going to help me or not?" I snap at Adrian. "Because regardless, I'm going down there."

Adrian sighs running his fingers through his hair. We both kneel in the snow, clad in only pajamas. An odd sight, but we are alive. We breathe. We live.

But I cannot enjoy this freedom. Not yet.

Adrian stands shakily, and stumbles over to a hibernating tree. I can his legs are numb with cold, and he struggles against the leafless wood. Reaching up, he jerks a long branch off of it. It's not very thick, but it's long.

"This is the best I got. Be careful."

Without even a lingering look at Adrian's haunting eyes, I take one end, and he grabs the other, and I ease myself over the edge.

The full height of the cliff hits me, and I instantly feel nauseated. It's almost as if I can _feel _the distance underneath me, as if the wind contains the true depth of where I could fall. The wind swirls around me, fluttering my jacket, and I fight to see below me.

Adrian's feet are firmly planted on the ground, and he gently lowers me down, bending when the length of the branch doesn't seem to reach far enough.

But the branch only goes down about half the distance that I need to get Dimitri. "I have to drop!" I yell at Adrian.

"Rose, no! We'll-"

"I have to!" I scream, fear gripping at my insides, but courage driving my actions. "If I don't, he'll die."

With one, deep breath, I let go.

My stomach drops, and it feels as though I am falling thousands of feet. But when my feet hit the rocky ledge, and I fall to my knees, I welcome safety.

I am pressed against the rock wall, the cold wind and night air chilling my skin, but I burn with determination inside. The cold evaporates around me, and I don't feel anything. Anything but fear.

"Ro...za." Dimitri mumbles. "I can't- I can't..."

Spinning on the thin ledge, I lean down, grabbing the back of his shirt.

"Dimitri, honey, you gotta help me out, okay?" He nods robotically, but I'm not sure if he has even heard me.

"I can't hold on," he mumbles.

"You need to climb up, okay? You've got to try and get your feet onto something."

With one great heave, I clamp onto his waist, trying desperately to pull him up. "Dimitri-"

I pull again, and he struggles to hold onto something, anything.

"I'm trying," he groans, as if I am about to reject him, to give up, to let him go. "I'm trying, Roza."

The gash on his forehead bleeds heavily now, not yet slowed by the cold. "Shh, I know you're trying. I know it's hard, I know you're tired. But I won't let you fall."

I grunt and rear back, and Dimitri manages to clumsily swing his leg over the side of the ledge. We both struggle helplessly, until he collapses onto the snowy rock, panting heavily. I pull his head into my lap, gently stroking his hair.

"Roza," he moans, delirious. "Don't leave. Stay with me."

"It's not over yet," I whisper softly. "We have to get back up there."

He shakes his head. "I can't. I can't, Rose."

"C'mon, get up," I say. "Don't go to sleep on me yet."

I pull him to his feet, half supporting his weight. "Adrian!" I call. "Adrian!"

I see his head appear over the edge. "Rose!"

He lowers the branch down, but it cannot possibly support both of our weight.

"Dimitri, you need to go first. Climb up the rock as high as you can."

He looks dizzy and disoriented, and the last thing I want is to send him climbing up the side of a mountain in his condition, but we have no other choice. "Roza, you can't reach it by yourself."

"But if you fall, then you'll die. I might be able to keep you from going off the edge. I'll figure it out, just go."

"Roza-"

_"GO," _I demand my emotions spiking. Dimitri slowly reaches up, shakily climbing several feet until he is aided by the branch. My heart soars as he is lifted over the edge. Now, Dimitri has at least a foot of height on me, and only has to climb about half the distance that I need to until he can grab onto the branch. And this is what worries me.

I begin to scale the side of the slippery, icy rock. A few feet is a lot when, at any moment, one slip could cause my death.

I am almost able to grab the branch, so close, but I cannot reach it. I strain upwards, but my foot hits packed snow, and it collapses under my weight. I scream, clutching onto the rocky edge.

"Roza!"

"Rose!"

But I manage to hold on, I manage to stay. I manage to live.

Carefully, so carefully, I slide my foot onto a secure rock, testing it gently before hoisting myself up. I snatch onto the branch, and both men quickly pull me onto the safety of the snow.

Adrian's arms instantly are around me, and Dimitri showers the back of my neck in lazy kisses, murmuring my name. I hug Adrian solidly before turning to embrace Dimitri. His hands travel along my spine, tracing patterns. He is swaying and could probably collapse at any moment.

"Adrian, we need to find a place to stay."

He nods, and we both slip one of Dimitri's arms around our shoulders, carrying his weight. Adrian grunts.

"How much does he _weigh?" _he asks, panting.

"Shut up," I say lightly, feeling Dimitri's sagging conciousness. "Dimitri, honey, you've got to hang on for us, okay? We're going to find a place where you can sleep."

He groans, stumbling. "Hurry," is all he can say, before his chin falls to his chest. We walk for what seems like miles, what seems like hours. We trudge through the snow, hiking upwards, until we find a road. A deserted road. But roads lead to towns, and what we need more than anything is help. "Rose, is that a house?"

"What? Where?" I cannot see anything through the swirling snow, and the dark night.

"Right there. On the top of the hill!"

"What hill?" I cry.

Adrian sighs. "Dhampir eyes."

"Shut up," I mutter once more, and we continue to walk. But sure enough, Adrian was right, and a small, two story house comes into view.

It seems to be the only building in sight, although I believe that I can see blurred lights in the distance. But Dimitri is fading fast.

Adrian knocks violently on the door, before an elderly man, who couldn't be any less than seventy, opens the door.

His eyes widen in shock, and he gently pushes the thick, wire-framed glasses further up his crooked nose. Running a hand over his balding head, he takes in the sight of us, and what a sight it must be.

A young woman and a man, broken and bruised, supporting a nearly unconcious giant, whose face is coated with blood. All three in their nightclothes.

"Please," Adrian begs. "We've been in an accident."

...

Turns out, the tiny place is a Bed and Breakfast, and we request a room together. One pull out couch, one bed, and a few extra blankets.

The man offers two rooms, but we vow to stay together, at least for the night.

We both instantly decide that Dimitri gets the bed, but it's a struggle to decide who gets the couch. Adrian uses his charming _ladies first, _to try and persuade me to take it, although I insist that I get the floor, as I am the Guardian, and was used to sleeping on a rock-hard mattress in prison, anyways.

Being as stubborn as I am, I end up getting the floor.

Unfortunately, I wake in the early hours of the morning, when Adrian is already snoring lightly, and the sun has barely risen. My veins are pumping heavily, I've dreamed of the wreck. I fill up a foot-bath plastic tub with warm water and gather several handfulls of linens, quickly exiting the bathroom.

To my surprise, Dimitri is already awake, watching me.

"Good morning," I whisper, and slip past Adrian. Setting the bucket on the side table, I gently sit at Dimitri's bedside.

"How are you feeling?" I ask softly, stroking the matted hair from his face.

He smiles. "Like I got hit by a train."

I let out a dry laugh. "That's not funny," I scold playfully. "What hurts?"

Dimitri, never one to complain just smiles again. "My back. My head. My arms."

His face is caked in dried blood, a thick red mask, his arms covered in scratches and cuts. I dip one cloth in the warm water, and gently dab at his face. We sit in silence, the fireplace and the rising sun our only source of light.

"I'm sorry," I whisper, afraid to meet his gaze. "That I let go of your hand. I was trying so hard..."

He gently cups my jaw, tilting my face into the light. "Shh. You should not have come after me. You should have left me. Thank you."

I smile. He could have scolded me, could have acted superiour, but no, he was gentle and appreciative. He was Dimitri.

"I would never have left you," I whisper. "I would never have abandoned you."

"Like I abandoned you?"

I flinch, turning my attention back to the task at hand. "I'd rather not discuss that now."

He sighs, and shifts uncomfortably. "Does your back hurt?" I ask, once I firmly press a bandage to his clean face. He winces and nods, taking my hand and allowing me to help him turn. I lift his torn and dirty t-shirt. An enormous bruise had formed from his right hip, all the way to his left shoulder.

I press two fingers along his spine, rubbing ever-so-gently down, around the bruise. He winces and squeezes my free hand, and I immediately remove my hand.

"How are your arms?"

He groans. "I can't even lift them."

I smile. "I can run a bath for you, if you want. It might help with the stiffness."

Dimitri shakes his head. "No, I don't think I could even get myself out of it. Thank you, though."

I gently tear away his t-shirt, careful not to jar anything, and gently clean his chest of blood or any other dirt.

"I'm going to go into town, today. It's only like a five minute walk. I'll get us some clothing, I can call Abe."

He nods. "Okay, I'll-"

"No," I whisper. "You're staying here and resting. God knows you could use it after falling off of a cliff."

He chuckles softly. "I fell fifteen feet, Rose."

"And slammed your forehead onto a rock. I think you could use a day in bed."

He smiles and burrows further into the bed. "I appreciate you two giving me the bed, by the way, but I'm fine now. You can get a room of your own."

I grab a towel off of the bedside table and dip it in the water, gently rubbing Dimitri's hair clean. Exhaustion still played on his every feature, and I wasn't sure if he would be able to stand long enough to take a shower. So I ridded his hair of dirt and blood with the damp towel.

"I know your alright, you have no idea how thankful I truly am for that, but I just want to make sure you're taken care of."

Dimitri shifts to the side, supporting his head his his palm, his elbow resting on the pillow. "I am taken care of. Believe me, you've spoiled me. You don't know how many times while being a Guardian that I've just layed in bed, covered in dirt and unable to clean and dress my wounds because I'm alone and just don't have the energy."

Sympathy wells within me, although I know that's definately not what Dimitri was trying to inspire. He sighs and smiles. "Roza, don't give me that look. I don't mind being alone. Every Guardian has to face it sometime."

I give him a sad smile. "I know, it's just sad, that's all. Sad that that's the life that so many people have to live. And I would hardly call this being spoiled."

I watch as he gently rubs his eyes. "You know, I wouldn't even be alive if you hadn't kept me from leaving the room, on the train, when I was mad at you," I mention softly.

He shakes his head. "Yes, Dimitri, you know it's true. I would have stayed out all night. And then the train would have crashed, and I would have been all alone and would have no idea what to do."

He shrugs. "And I would have passed out and fallen off of the side of the cliff if you hadn't come to rescue me. Call it even, then?"

Sighing, I nod, and lay down beside him, resting my temple on his shoulder. He doesn't stiffen at all, just rests his head on the crown of mine.

"I should probably get going if I'm going to the store."

"Mmm. They've probably just opened. You have all day."

I smile. "Yes, but I've trecked through the snow in these pajama pants, and now they're soaking wet. I'm cold."

I meant it lightly, but Dimitri frowns. "Then should you really be going out into the snow? I-"

"Shut up! I'm fine!" I laugh. "Leave me alone!"

Adrian groans. "Both of you shut up! I'm trying to sleep!"

Laughing, I get up from the warm bed, grabbing my jacket and sliding into my slippers, the only articles of clothing I managed to grab on my rush out of the train. With a quick goodbye, I slip out of hte door.

The sun warms me, although my slightly damp pajama bottoms send shivers throughout my body. I trudge through the snow, my breath curling from my lips.

There is only one store in the tiny town, and I buy t-shirts and sweatpants, in the smallest and largest sizes. But the longer I stay out, the more and more I begin to feel... vurnerable. Like I am exposed, begging to be attacked. The feeling grows stronger and stronger, until I practically run back to the B and B, just wanting to be safe and warm inside.

How odd, that after months in a prison cell, after months of longing for freedom, all that I wanted was to curl up into bed with Dimitri.

The two men welcome me back. Adrian is about to get another room, and Dimitri still lays in bed, looking quite comfortable, but still exhausted.

I help him out of bed, handing him a clean pair of sweat pants and a t-shirt, and he disappears into the bathroom. Adrian has already gone downstairs, leaving Dimitri and I alone.

But when he emerges from the bathroom, I try to repress any sympathy, or attraction, that might show on my face.

His chest remains bare, too sore to put the t-shirt on. He is still fit and muscular, but bruises and cuts litter his chest. I help him back into bed, and he asks me sweetly to put more wood into the fireplace, which I do.

"Adrian told me to stop being so lazy and do it myself," he laughs. "If I would have been able to get out of bed without assistance, I would have hit him."

Even though the frosty weather outside is much colder, the room's temperature begins to lower dramatically, and I can start to feel the chill.

I smile to myself, promising Dimitri that I'd be back, and slip out of the room. There is a small kitchen downstairs, and I help myself to the kettle and the tub of hot chocolate mix. I read the directions carefully, then double the amount of powder that is 'recommended.' Dimitri liked it better this way, anyways.

I make three cups of hot chocolate, and balance them all, bringing them back up to our room.

Adrian sits on the couch, his feet propped up on the coffee table. They both look up when I walk in.

"Hot chocolate!" I chirp, handing one to each of the men. "It's doubled," I tell Dimitri, who smiles broadly before taking a sip.

"Rose, we have a bit of a problem."

"Adrian, a problem is trying to find a way out of a train wreck. I'm sure we can handle this."

He rolls his eyes, nursing the mug in his hands. "The place is small. They only have two rooms, this one and one other. Someone's going to have to share."

I shrug. "I'll sleep on the couch. Dimitri is too sore to get out of bed by himself, anyways."

Although he doesn't seem thrilled, Adrian nods and grabs his portion of clothing, before disappearing down the hall.

"Rose," Dimitri murmurs. "Maybe this isn't the best idea. To be sharing a room-"

"Good God, Dimitri. I'm not going to jump you. You made it perfectly clear that nothing is ever going to happen between us. I can accept that. I'm just taking care of you."

His mouth snaps shut, from a position that looked like he was about to say something, but changed his mind.

"O- okay."

Smiling, I make up the couch, tucking in the sheets before flopping down onto it.

"Did you call Abe?"

The smile beads and slides off of my face. "Shit."

* * *

**Thank you for your amazing reviews for the last chapter! They were excellent! You have no idea how much I appreciate them!**


	26. Dad?

He shakes his head, reminding me so much of mentor-Dimitri, it feels as though I've never left the academy. "Rose, Rose. What am I going to do with you?"

"I was a little distracted, okay? I can go and phone him if you want..."

"You can use my phone, it's..." he trails off, shoulders sinking. "It's in my bag. On the train."

To my embarrassement, tears well up in my eyes. "How- how many do you think died? In the crash?" It is such a random thought, yet it springs to my mind. I have been afraid to even think of it, but now it rushes to the surface, an emotion overload.

"I don't know, Rose."

I bring my knees up to my chest, the sudden whip-lash of emotions shocking my system. "We couldn't protect any of them. We couldn't have saved any of them. God, it's so infuriating!"

Dimitri pats the right side of the bed, and I crawl into it. He puts an awkward arm me. "Rose, I know it's hard to accept, God knows I went through the same thing with Ivan. But you can't protect everyone all of the time. There's sometimes you just need to let go."

I sniffle, burying my face into his arm. "But so many lives. How? How could a strigoi derail an entire train? Just like that?"

He sighs, bending his arm and stroking my hair. "You have no idea how powerful strigoi can become. Some can be hundreds of years old, and can have tens of thousands of Moroi lives that they have drained."

Part of me cannot believe how close contact Dimitri is allowing between us. He must have hit his head harder than I thought. "Did you ever meet a strigoi that old?"

"When I was strigoi?" Dimitri's voice has drained of it's gentleness. I am almost hesitant to answer, but push forward nevertheless, never one to shy away from a conversation.

"Yes."

He sighs, but doesn't make any attempt to remove his hand from around my shoulders.

"Yes, I met one. Galina was working with him on a _project, _but I was too 'young' to be involved, I was untrustworthy. I suppose it might even have been the train wreck, I'll never know."

I gently run my fingertips up and down his arm. "Was it painful? To see your old mentor like that?"

"At the time? No. She always seemed so much more wise than I was, so much more experienced. I suppose I didn't see it any differently, not when I was one of _them. _But now, looking back, I suppose it saddens me that the memory of the woman that I idolized has been tainted. But I guess you feel the same way, don't you? You would know just as well as I would."

I shake my head. "No. It's different for me. I mean, I don't think of you the way you think of Galina. Well, mentor-wise, at least. You think of her as a parent figure, an adult, a teacher. But you were so much more to me. Even now, I can't even picture you with red eyes or pale skin. When I think of you, I think of when you first captured Lissa and I. I think of the lust charm, the cabin."

I blush, rotating my neck to look at his face. But Dimitri stares forward, unmoving, unseeing. "That's because you don't remember what happened, you lost your memory of that time. If you did, how could you not think of what I've done to you? How do you not see that every time you think of me?"

"Because, Dimitri, that's not who you were, that's not who you are. That... _monster, _that wasn't you. That was a strigoi, a body. What makes you _you _is your soul. The person that you were, that you are now, that's the same person who made me hot chocolate, and told me that he'd always protect me, and kissed me like a million times in the gym."

"I wasn't strigoi when I told you that my love had faded. Was that the man you fell in love with?"

I sigh. Even though I couldn't remember him ever saying that to my face, Adrian had told me what Dimitri had said. It had stung.

"Yeah, you know what? It is. This isn't the first time you've done something 'wrong' and tried to erase the evidence."

He doesn't even blink. "_Erase the evidence?_"

"Yeah. We kissed in the gym, and you think that if you nip the 'problem' at the bud, then you won't have to feel the emotion. No love, no issue. Just like you are now. If you don't have to be around me, you don't have to feel the guilt."

"That is absolutely _not _true."

I sigh. "Fine. Of course it's not."

He growls in frustration. It takes us both a minute to realize that although we're fighting and arguing, we're still lying in bed together, his arm around my shoulder.

But, to my surprise, he makes no attempt to move. So I, being the irrational one, jump off of the bed.

"I'm phoning Abe."

I slam the room door shut, just as Adrian walks down the hall. "I leave you kids alone for five minutes and you're already fighting?"

"Shut up." I storm out of the tiny Bed and Breakfast, walking quickly through the snow. I have forgotten my jacket, surprise, surprise, and am now freezing.

There's a pay phone at one of these stores, I remember, although they charge an obscene amount for a phone call to America.

Nervousness creeps into my, taking me by surprise, as the phone begins to ring. The old man picks up, his voice oddly rough and lifeless, like he'd aged drastically in the past few months.

"Mazur," he says sharply, like he's expecting a call from someone who works for him.

It brings a smile to my face. "Hey, Dad."

"Rosemarie? Oh God, Rose is that you?"

"Yeah, yeah, it's me. I'm fine, don't worry, I'm alright."

In the background, I hear my mother, fiery as always. _I want to talk to her, Abe. I want to talk to my daughter. Give me the phone!_

"Not yet, Janine. Listen, Rose, are you sure you're alright? Belikov was supposed to phone me a day and a half ago. Where the hell is he? I'll kill him. Please don't tell me you got away. I knew I should have sent someone else after you. I knew you wouldn't want to be anywhere _near _him after what he did to you, I swear to-"

"DAD!" I yell, causing a few shoppers to turn their heads to me. I put my shoulder to them, cradling the phone. "Dad, relax, will you? No, I didn't run. Dimitri's back at the hotel...motel...thing. It's fine. Adrian's here, too. We were at the Belikovs' for a while. Now we're heading back."

"You should be home by now. Why are you not on the plane?"

I sigh, running my hand through my long hair. "There was an accident."

"An _accident?_"

"Well, more like an attack..."

"Rose?"

Once again, I sigh. "There was a train wreck. We think strigoi attacked it, and the whole thing derailed."

"_Derailed? _Are you alright? Are you all alright? Where are you? I'm coming to get you right-"

"Abe! Calm down! We're fine, we're alright. But we wouldn't have been if Dimitri wasn't there. Try not to be so hard on him, okay? I would be dead if he hadn't been so fast-reacting."

Abe huffs, and I can just imagine him rolling his eyes. "Fine. But there's a jet at the location that Dimitri already knows about. I want you kids in Moscow and _boarding _at five o'clock."

"Dad, Dimitri needs to rest. He can't even walk."

"I thought you said everyone was alright!"

"It was a _train wreck! _It's not like we got away without a scratch!"

He sighs. "Fine. Then drag him to Moscow. I'll see you tomorrow. Five o'clock, Rose."

...

Luckily, we don't have a lot to pack up, so we are able to quickly exit the Bed and Breakfast.

I can tell Dimitri _wants _to be mad as hell, but by the time we get down the stairs of the place, he's already exhausted and leaning heavily on me. I help him into the taxi, before taking the seat next to him, while Adrian gets the passenger seat.

Dimitri and I sit on opposite ends of the car, not speaking, not looking at each other.

Safe to say, it was a long ride to the airport.

But as I help him onto the plane, I fantasize about just walking away, marching up the steps immaturely and leaving him behind. But I wouldn't, I couldn't, as he would most likely topple to the ground, falling down the stairs. He was limping badly now, and almost all of his weight was put upon me and the railing of the steps leading into the small jet.

Oh well, perhaps these things were better left to the imagination.

* * *

**Just to let everyone know, I'm not actually planning on any lemons or anything coming into this story, as I'm not comfortable writing them. But anyone who wants to post an add-on one to this story, let me know. You can post it as your own fanfic, feel free. Just please contact me first!**

**Thanks! And please review**


	27. Home

I drum the tray on the back of the seat in front of me, practically bouncing in my seat.

Adrian laughs, grabbing my hand and squeezing it. "Rose, calm down. You've seen these people a million times in your life. Except maybe your mom..."

"But not like this!" I whine, squeezing his hand in return. I lean back in my seat. "I can't do this. I can't do this, Adrian. I can't see them again, I ran away in the first place. They're going to be so mad at me, they'll hate me. I-"

Dimitri, sleeping on my other side, groans in his reclined place. He grabs my other hand and turns towards me, although his eyes are still closed.

"Shh, Roza."

His voice soothes me, and I sink into my seat. Adrian, looking a little uncomfortable, excuses himself, and heads towards the plane bathrooms. I quietly turn to Dimitri, feeling a sudden whiplash at his strong hot-and-cold emotions. We get on the flight, he ignores me. We're beginning to descend, and suddenly he's sweet-and-sensitive?

"What is up with you? I swear to God, you're bipolar or something."

This time, Dimitri does open his eyes. "Excuse me?"

I growl, pushing my head back against my chair. "Never mind."

"Rose..."

"No. I said never mind. And don't use your mentor-voice on me, I'm not falling for it anymore."

He looks taken aback, despite his sleepy state. "Mentor voice? I didn't mean-"

"Just leave me alone," I huff, closing my eyes, trying to end the conversation.

It doesn't work.

"Stop this. I haven't done anything. You have no right to just take out your fear and anger on me."

I laugh out loud, rolling my eyes. "No, no fear. Just anger. And all of my anger is because of _you! _I have _every _right to be angry with you."

"How long have you been angry with me? Why is this just coming around now?" he asks, eyes deep with concentration.

"Stop trying to psycho-analyze me! I'm so sick of you doing that!"

I stand up, shoving past him, into the luxorious 'aisle' of the plane.

It's is Abe's own, personal jet, and is ridiculously extravagant. There are three plush seats at the front, two are pushed together, where me and Adrian have claimed, and one across the aisle. The next 'room' contains a couch and armchair, and it is where I choose to storm off into, slamming the door shut behind me.

Anger boils within me, and I can feel that familiar foreign emotion that clouds my vision.

Spirit-enduced emotion.

But, as I have been trying to past few days, I repress my emotion, locking it tight inside of myself.

At least, I try to.

But it overflows like a steaming pot, spilling out before I can secure my exterior.

So I curl up onto the couch, letting all of my anger and darkness spill from my eyes.

...

"What the hell did you say to her?"

"Nothing! Nothing, I told you."

"Well, she's crying. Don't you think you've cause her enough pain?"

_What the hell? _I keep my eyes shut, just listening to the two men's conversation.

He sighs. "She was so angry, and I hadn't said anything to her."

The world begins to shake violently, and I wake with a start, and a scream.

The two men stare at me, and it takes me a minute to realize that I'm in a plane, and it's just landed.

"Where. The. Hell. Am. I?"

The tall guy rolls his eyes. "That's not funny, Rose. Stop it."

"Shut the hell up! Tell me who I am. I'm armed! I won't hesitate to kill you." I finger the stake that weighs down my pocket.

They exchange horrified glances. "Nice going, Belikov," hisses the shorter of the two.

"Roza? Rose, what do you remember?"

I push myself into the back of the couch. "I asked the question, here. Now where the _hell _am I?"

"Rose-"

I jump out, easily kicking the shorter one's chest, and he flies back. But the tall, dark-haired man effortlessly grabs my wrist and spins me against the wall, pinning my hands against my back.

"HELP!" I scream, my voice muffled. "HELP! Who the hell are you?"

"Adrian, get Abe and the Princess." His hands are shaking as he holds me in place.

"Let go," I whimper. "Please, let go. Please."

He sighs, peeling me off of the wall and allows me to sit on the couch, I curl up protectively.

He holds up his hand, as if to tell me he won't hurt me, won't touch me. The man backs up slowly towards the door.

"I won't hurt you, I promise. I won't touch you, Rose. You'll be safe here."

I bite my tongue, and begin to rock in place. "Look, I don't know what you want from me. I don't have any money, I don't have anything of value. If you're just going to rape me, why did you take me here?"

His eyes widen in shock, but he only shakes his head, unable to speak. "No, Rose, no one's going to do anything to harm you. We're going to keep you safe."

I don't want to believe him, but in being held hostage, this was the only hope that I had.

I nod.

But an enormous group of people enter the room, and I retreat farther back onto the couch.

"No!"

The man steps away from them, holding out his arms like a barrier. "Just give her a minute, alright? She doesn't remember a thing, and thinks we're going to hurt her."

The old man at the doorway sighs loudly, looking so sad.

"Rose, hon, don't worry. I'm your father."

"You're lying!" I cry. The terrified and helpless feeling was overwhelming.

"Dimitri, what's going on?" whimpers the little blonde girl, who clings onto the man's arm.

_Dimitri _sighs. "She's lost her memory, Vasilisa. You need to heal her. There's no time to explain."

They both step forward, but Dimitri pins me down onto the couch. I kick and scream, fighting him, yelling for help. My heart is pounding, my head running desperately, but he holds on.

"Shh, Roza."

His words drip down my skin, and I can feel the stress, ever-so-slightly, cool.

The tiny blonde girl steps up and puts her palms on my temples, closing her eyes.

I rush of hot and cold sweeps through me, making me sweat, then freezing me. But slowly, so slowly, I begin to feel the pieces rush back.

As well as the most painful headache I have ever experienced.

I groan and, once again, curl up, burying my face into my arms.

"Roza?"

"I remember," I moan. "I remember everything."

I feel large, cool hands on my back. "Roza, what's wrong. What's the matter?"

I groan again and turn my face back into the couch. "My head. Oh, God, my head."

Gently, he turns me, and I squeeze my eyes shut against the light.

"Belikov, can you carry her to her room?"

Dimitri looks guilt-ridden and clutches at his ribs. "I, I can try-"

"Dimitri, no. You're injured. I can wal-"

But before I can finish, Adrian leans down and sweeps me into his arms. "Got it."

I cling to his neck while we make our way to my room, the whole crowd of us. Adrian sets me down on the bed while Dimitri grabs me a glass of water and an aspirin.

I dry swallow the pill, and then down the glass of water as I listen to the soft sounds of Dimitri's chuckle.

In the background of my pounding and throbbing headache, I can hear Dimitri and Adrian trying to explain the situation to Lissa and Abe, as well as some others who only registered as blurs in my place of pain.

My name is mentioned every five seconds in conversation, and I slowly begin to tune in.

"A train wreck?" My mom sobs, and I nod.

"Yeah," I say. "We're fine, don't worry. Dimitri got the worst of the injuries, and he should be _laying down..._" I say pointedly.

"Roza, I'm fine. I've already gotten some sleep. I think I can stand for a few minutes on end."

I scoff and roll my eyes. I suppose it was this action at which Lissa decided that I was back to my former self, as she threw her arms around my neck and began to sob into me.

"R-Rose! I m-missed you so m-much! Why did you leave? Please never leave me again! I need you, Rose."

I hug her tightly to my chest. "Shh, Liss, it's okay. I'm here now."

Lissa was shaking in my arms, and my mom slowly walks over to join me. She sits on the edge of my bed, not speaking, but just staring at me, tears in her eyes.

"Mom," I whisper.

She breaks down, tears flowing freely down her cheeks, as she gingerly brushes my hair away from my forehead.

"You have got," she murmurs softly. "Stop running away. You have no idea how worried I was, Rose. I thought- I thought-"

"I know what you thought," I whisper, and gently embrace her.

The tearful reunions continue: Abe, then Eddie, then Mia, and even Christian. Exhaustion begins to take over, and I politely but firmly assure them that I'm fine and that I just want to sleep, but Dimitri and Lissa demand that they both stay, and I just don't have the energy to fight them.

...

I feel the small sense of joy flood through her body, and even though my body protests, I snap my eyes open.

Lissa is sitting on the couch, Dimitri in front of her. She has her hands running up and down his back. It looks like a massage, and he seems to be enjoying it. But when she pulls away, I can sense the joy fading, the thrill of her magic gone.

Dimitri pushes his chest forward, stretching, and smiles widely at her.

"Thank you, Vasilisa."

She healed him.

The thought brought me relief. Was I actually jealous? He had moved on, even though I obviously hadn't. But still, I wasn't about to sit around and mope about it.

"Morning," I mumble, and they both rush to my side.

"Rose? How are you feeling? Are you okay? Oh, Rose do you remember me?" Lissa begs frantically, and I smile.

"Yes, I'm feeling fine, and your Vasilisa Dragomir. We met when we were six. I threw a book at a teacher and called her a facist bastard. I know who you are, Liss."

Dimitri's eyes widen, then he bursts out laughing. His laugh is so natural, one that I haven't heard in a very long time. "That's how you met? Roza, I suppose I shouldn't have expected anything less."

I crawl out of bed. "I'm taking a shower. Now you to go and do whatever weird things you do. Dimitri, you need to rest. On a _proper _bed."

He sighs. "I'm fine, Roza."

I roll my eyes at him, gathering my clothes before going into the bathroom. I shower quickly, too glad to be back in my world to want to spend it cooped up in a shower.

But when I get out, Dimitri is there, wearing a simple t-shirt and jeans, and he's brought me a bagel from the cafe.

"Thought you might be hungry."

I take a bite out of it before flopping down onto my couch. "You don't have to hang around me all the time. I'm not going to run again. You can go back to completely avoiding me or whatever you wanted to call that."

He tries not to narrow his eyes, I can tell. "I..." He sighs, running his hand over his hair. "I just want to make sure you're alright."

I sweep my hands out in a show-case gesture. "Well, I'm alright."

He nods, and looks like he's thinking about saying something. "O- Okay..."

He quietly stands up, nodding, and exits the room. I feel slightly guilty, I'll admit, but it's better to distance myself before he can hurt me, right?

Oh God.

_It's better to distance myself before I get hurt._

Dimitri had always seemed to share my thoughts, knowing all of my thoughts, all of my weaknesses.

What if he felt the same way? Better to distance yourself before you can be rejected.

Oh God, oh God.

I jump off of the bed, running as fast as my legs could carry me, down the hall, into the staircase.

"Dimitri!"


	28. A Short Question

**Sorry! But I have a short question...**

**While experiencing a small case of writer's block, I decided to just write whatever came to mind. It didn't at all fit along with the story line, because I had Tasha involved, and she's supposed to be dead in my story... but it cured my writer's block. So, I wrote an entire chapter (that made sense.)**

**But, when I saved and updated, I realized that my _entire _chapter hadn't saved, and it was back to the old one that made no sense!**

**So, have any of you ever experienced troubles with getting your stories to save? Or is it just me?**

**I'm sorry for the confusion, and hope I haven't jerked you around too much with my story. You're still reading, and you have no idea how appreciative I am, and I hate writing these, but I am a little frustrated. Sorry for any confusion I may have caused.**


	29. Viktor?

***sighs* I am soooo sorry. I have been having such troubles with saving my work, recently! I am so frustrated, the kind of frustration that makes you want to light fire to all of the characters in the story, as the last chapter was _never _supposed to be posted. **

**See, Tasha was involved in the last chapter. But she's supposed to be dead in this story. I only wrote it to relieve some writer's block... But my work didn't save, so _that _chapter ended up being posted. I kind of want to rip out my hair. **

**Just a little.**

**So, I decided to painstakingly rewrite this entire long chapter. But I've gotten back on track, and if you can bear with my technical difficulties, then I'll try as hard as I possibly can to _not _screw up this story... _again._**

***sighs again* Well, good luck to me. And if Rose or Dimitri spontaneously combust, then you know that one of my chapters probably didn't save again...**

**-PeaceRoseG'ladheon**

**

* * *

**

"Dimitri!" I fly down the stairs, taking the steps three at a time. "Dimitri!"

He must have bolted as soon as he left my room, because the man is no where in sight. I can hear faint footsteps in the stairwell. The space is cold, and I wrap my jacket tighter around myself, feeling the weight of the stake in my pocket.

"Dimitri, wait!"

Dark and shadowing, the stairwell, I'll admit, creeps me out. The entire thing is made out of the same creepy stone that everything in the Court seems to be fashioned of. The flickering and dying lamp on the wall doesn't help, either.

Picking up the pace, I practically jump down the entire staircase, curving sharply and continuing down. "Dimitri!"

But suddenly, a warning, wary feeling flushes through me. Instinct. It coils and pulses in my gut, shifting and growing - breathing.

"Dimitri, please!"

But when I reach the bottom landing, a hand shoots out, clamping around my mouth and dragging me backwards, underneath the stairwell, preventing me from screaming.

Managing a muffled cry, I twist and fight against the corpse-like hands that hold me fast. I kick and fight, doing everything I can, but whatever grips me is just as talented at blocking my blind blows.

The light on the wall blinks out, and the shadows consume my vision. Even with my hightened senses, I can't see a single thing. Absolutely nothing.

But I can Hear it's heavy breathing.

Smell the thick scent of sweat and effort.

Feel it's cold, clammy skin.

Taste the sharp, tangy sting of it's hand clamped over my lips.

It, whatever _he _is, fills my senses. I struggle helplessly, while he covers my mouth and nose, suffocating me. _No, _I try to mumble, but my breath cannot escape, and the word falls useless against _his _palm.

My hands are pulled back, and I can't even move, can't even grab my stake. But when I feel a second pair of hands running up and down my sides, I really start to panic. The hands grope my hips, up to my ribcage, finally finding my coat.

But instead of tugging it off, the hands plunge into the inner pocket of my jacket. Tthe weight of the pocket lifts, as both the stake and the hands disappear. But then...if he could touch the stake...

The second man was Dhampir.

And a Guardian, too, apparently, because he slammed into me, his hand finding my hip and carefully manuvering around it, pushes the stake into the first man's body. The familiar hands grab mine and pull me from the stairwell. As soon as we exited the dark, confined space, I breathe a sigh of relief.

"Thank God, Dimitri," I mutter, and dig myself deeper into his protective chest. "How the hell did a strigoi get into Court?" _And how the hell did I not sense it_?

"Because," he says sharply. "That wasn't a strigoi. It was a Dhampir."

He pulls me across the terrace, leading me towards the Moroi's buildings. "Why would a Dhampir attack me?"

"Because Victor's trying to get to you."

I jerk my arm back, spinning Dimitri enough for him to face me. "Wait, wait. What the _hell _does Victor have to do with this? And how do you know this?"

Running a hand through his hair, Dimitri sighs. "I don't know for sure. But Rose, there are people back home. Dhampirs, trained dhampirs, who think that the Guardians are all enslaved. They go off, fighting strigoi by themselves. What would happen if a man shows up and promises that they could help 'free the dhampirs'? They're kids, very cocky, and probably think they can take on strigoi and Guardians alike."

I nod, trying to refrain from blushing. Hadn't _I _gone off with them, thinking I could just kill Dimitri and any strigoi who got in my way? Cocky, indeed. "I...okay?"

"Are you alright? I heard you calling for me. I got there just before the lights went out."

With another short nod, I wrap my arms around him. "Yes. Thank you. I thought... I thought I was going to die. Had a few experiences like that, I suppose."

Dimitri doesn't smile, doesn't blink. "Rose, we have to go."

"I'm not leaving Lissa!"

He begins to pull me again, dragging me along the grass. "We're going _to _Vasilisa. She needs protection. Viktor wants her, wants what she can do. You have to protect her."

"And what about you?" I argue back, running full speed now. "Where are you going?"

"To tell the Guardians."

I sigh. "Dimitri, no offense, but who's going to believe you?"

Instantly stopping, I almost run into him. "Then what do you suggest?" he says through gritted teeth. I don't believe he's mad at me, just extremely stressed and worried. Witnessing his former-student/love getting groped under the stairwell probably didn't help.

"Go find Lissa. She needs you. She needs to make sure you're alright."

His eyes narrow. "What about you? Don't you think she'll need you?"

"Dimitri, she's like your parent. _She _protects you, too," I point out.

"What about me, Rose? I'll be worried sick, I-"

"You'll live," I whisper, and nudge him towards the Moroi building, heading in the opposite direction. "Wait!"

I run back, through the chilled night air, and jump up, kissing Dimitri so passionately, it makes my whole body sway. He doesn't have time to react before I pull away, running towards the Guardian's offices.

If I was going to die, I wasn't going to go regretting anything.

...

But by the time I reach the offices, the Guardians are already well aware of the situation. They shuffle around, passing around nametags.

Nametags.

So that we are able to distinguish the Guardians from the attackers. They quickly give me mine, and I pin it onto my jacket.

"What about Guardian Belikov?" I ask, my question almost left behind in the dust of the fast-paced Guardians.

"What about _Mr. _Belikov?"

I growl for his sake. "He needs a nametag. He's not the attacker, and he's a Dhampir. Therefore, he needs to be identified."

Unhappy, they make me wait fifteen gruelling minutes before finally pressing the still-warm nametag into my hands. I take off, heading towards Lissa's dorm. But she's not even in her room. Terrified, I immediately slip into her head.

Dimitri paces in front of her, desperately, back and forth, while Lissa sits cuddled in the corner, sitting on the bed.

"Dimitri, calm down."

He pauses, taking a quick look at her, chewing at his fingernail, before continuing his pacing.

"Dimitri, stop it. She'll be fine, she'll come back without a scratch, you know Rose," Lissa soothes, although she is trying to convince herself more than Dimitri.

Shaking his head, Dimitri begins to desperately knead his hands. "You don't know that. She... something could happen. Viktor wants her. He wants you, but he could use her as bait. He... what if something happens to her? I'll never forgive myself. It's all my fault. I should have demanded-"

"Dimitri!" Liss cries, jumping off of the bed. "Rose is going to be fine! Okay? She'll be alright."

It is then that I notice Christian behind her. He pulls her back gently, cradling her in his arms, kissing the top of her head, then her neck, then her shoulders. He rubs her back gently, warmly, and calms her nerves.

Lissa turns her gaze back to Dimitri momentarily, to see him watching them regretfully. He turns again to pace, mumbling under his breath in Russian and shaking his head.

I am instantly brought back to myself. I bound up the stairs of the Moroi building, heading towards Christian's apartment. I burst in the door, Dimitri's tag gripped tightly in my hand. Without warning, I am instantly slammed against the wall, Dimitri shielding the two Moroi from the potential 'threat'. I suppose I deserved it for just coming through the door without any warning whatsoever.

But Dimitri suddenly realizes it's me, and buries his face into my neck. "Roza..."

I slip my hands up his chest, pinning the stupid piece of lamenated paper to his shirt. He pulls away, just enough to look down between us, fingering the nametag.

"Apparently, this is the Guardian's best defense against the attackers. Identification."

He doesn't even smile, but he leads me towards the small bed, pushing me down.

Yeah, right.

Jumping back up and avoiding his reach, I manage to manuver around him. "No way! I am not going to sit and be guarded!"

As always, he growls. "Please, Rose. Just this once? Please, this is different. You're the one under attack, not the Moroi you're guarding."

"What the hell!" Christian cries. "Will someone please tell us what's going on?"

So Dimitri and I are forced to explain the whole situation, our theories, and _what the hell is going on. _

Lissa begins to shiver, and Christian wraps his arms around her. "Viktor? How... Why now? Oh my God, he's coming after us."

Dimitri sits on the end of her bed, staring deep into her eyes. "I won't let him touch you."

His eyes drift to me, standing silently behind, trying so hard to keep my emotions in check.

"I won't let anything happen to either of you."

_Lies. _

The thought pops into my head before I can stop it.

But I know it's true.

I had to choose one, Lissa or Dimitri. I chose him, and look how well that turned out.

Choosing was never easy, but I'm sure owing your soul to one woman sure made the decision a hell of a lot easier, forget the past, forget former lovers.

Unfortunately for me, that means I'm the one left behind this time.

After countless times of running away, I guess I deserve it.

Karma's a bitch.

* * *

**Well, Promise Bound is officially finished now... And I'm looking to write a new story! Except I don't have any ideas yet... :(**


	30. Bursting Into Flames

We pace.

There's nothing else to do. We both pass each other several times over, never stopping to exchange a glance. I can sense Lissa and Christian watching us, staring at our distressed behaviour. But the ancient intercoms crackle in the hallway, making all four of us jump.

A deep sigh. "Guardian 20977, please report to the Guardian offices immediately. Guardian 2-0-9-7-7."

Dimitri freezes. "Not me," he says simply. "What's your number?"

I raise a brow. "We have numbers? Is that new?"

He simply rolls his eyes and pauses in front of me, gently reaching up to grab my nametag. He examines it for several moments before flipping it over, tugging and pulling at my sweater.

"2...0...9...7..." he looks gravely at me, shaking his head. "No. You can't go."

Lissa's flush of panic seizes me. "Don't go, Rose! What if it's him? What if-"

But I have to go. The follow-the-orders Guardian in me nags. I really have changed.

"I'm going anyways. What if it's something serious?" My confidence is completely inflated, and I think that they know it. I'm positive Lissa is.

"You're not going alone," Dimitri states, no question whatsoever in his voice.

"Really? You want to abandon Lissa just to babysit me?" I accuse. Low blow, I know, but I aim for pain.

"I've been doing it ever since the academy."

Whoa. That was completely out of line, even after my previous comment. Especially because I had felt I had grown an incredible amount since my time I had been at the academy.

I grit my teeth together, giving him the hardest glare I had. "Then what the _hell _where you doing when I was _I _was trying to find _you _in Russia?" I smirk, digging low enough myself to create my own grave.

The look on his face _almost _makes me regrets my words. But his expression hardens. "Trying to avoid you, which, believe me, wasn't easy when you followed me around the country like a lost puppy. You haven't changed that much, Rose."

I repress the urge to scream in anger, not wanting to give him the satisfaction. In that moment, there was no one I despised more.

"Well, I suppose it's good that I found you anyway and was able to... _Lissa _was able to save you, isn't that right? Do you really think she saved you? That you would be here if it weren't for me looking for you? How does it make you feel that there was only one person in the world who even cared enough to try and save you? I was the _only _one that even took the time to try and rescue you. Come on, Lissa would never have even thought about you any different than any other loss that day. _I _saved your soul, Dimitri, although it was obviously a lost cause."

The air became thick and heavy, both Dimitri and I sucking the air from the room.

"Rose," Lissa whispers softly.

I shake my head, letting out a humourless laugh. "No," I say. "No, don't you defend him! He doesn't even deserve it!"

"Would you stop?" He yells along with me. "Okay? I never asked for this!"

I snort loudly. "Poor Dimitri! Don't you hate it when someone gives up their life to_ save your soul_?"

We are now screaming full-fledged, my sarcasm ringing out loud and clear. "I never said that! But what I hate is when you follow me around and scream at me for not doing exactly what you want. You can't always manipulate people do follow your every order. I don't love you anymore! And _nothing _you say is going to change that!"

I finally cut my emotion loose. Stepping towards him, I bring my arm back. Before my palm can make contact with his cheek, he grips my wrist. We stare at each other, staring each other down.

"I hate you!" bubbles from my lips before I can bite it back. But the damage is done.

"Both of you _STOP!_" Lissa screams, slipping between us. She fists both of our shirts, pulling us together, and then shoving us away.

"Stop it! Stop fighting! Just shut up, both of you!" My best friend looks like a really pissed-off pixie, her perfect blond hair hanging over her face, her clear eyes blazing.

"Rose!" she yells, turning on me. "Leave him alone! I know it's hard for you, but you can't force this! You can't force him. He's already struggling, and you're suffocating him! Back off and give him some space! You don't understand what he been through, what it's done to him!"

But when she turns on Dimitri, I am too shocked to smirk. "And you! Would you cut her some slack! God, Dimitri, you're giving her whiplash! If you love her, _tell her! _And if you don't, let her move on with Adrian! Pick a side and stick with it! You told her you didn't love her anymore, so let her go! And you have no _right _to be jealous, or have any right to control her love life."

Dimitri and I both stare at the tiny girl, then look at each other. The intercom rings through the system again.

"Guardian 20977, report _immediately _to the Guardian offices."

I squeeze my eyes shut, letting out a shaking breath, and turn on my heel, exiting the apartment without another word. My eyes sting with tears, and I pull my coat closer to my body.

_You're suffocating him! _I shudder, the words pounding in my head. Maybe if I would have let him have some time, we would be together. Hopeful wishing, and unrealistic, I know, but I couldn't help it. Perhaps I really should move on, as Lissa so kindly pointed out, with Adrian. I did love him, I truly did, and Dimitri obviously didn't love me anymore...

I shake off my own problems as I enter the Guardian offices. The whole place is in a panic, Guardians bustling around.

"What?" I ask. "I was called?"

Hans stops, his face grave. He's always regarded me with some sort of distaste, but now, it didn't seem to matter. I wasn't trying to kill them, like a number of other Guardians on campus.

"Hathaway. Viktor Dashkov has requested to see you."

I want to laugh, want to cry, want to shake Hans so hard and scream at him for being so stupid. "Yeah, well I'm not really up for a little chat with Dashkov, now."

Growling, my boss (former boss?) snatches my wrist like I'm a deliquent teenager. "Listen, Hathaway. This isn't something you can just run away from this time. Lord Ivashkov's life is at stake here, and you don't feel like talking? Would you stop wallowing in your own problems and be a Guardian for once in your life?"

Perhaps it's the emotional hurricane I just experienced with Dimitri, or maybe it's Hans's words, but, either way, my eyes fill with tears. "Adrian?" I whisper.

Hans sighs and releases my wrist, and I am immediately hustled into a small room and loaded with weapons. A stake, of course, as well as a protective vest, bullets, and a gun. Of course, we've been trained to use these things, but the revolver still felt heavy and awkward in my head, cold and lifeless. I've never actually had to _use _one before. I shove it into my pocket nevertheless, listen to the battle plan, and head out the door.

The sun is starting to set, which, despite the warm air, sends a shudder through my spine. Darkness would dull my sight, and without the ability to sense the living, I felt vulnerable. Completely alone.

Odd.

How long had it been since I had been truly alone? The bond was blocked, Lissa obviously shutting me out, and that made me even more anxious. The only battle I had been in had been an intense war, bodies littering the ground. But this battle was invisible, silent. If Guardians knew one thing, it was the ability to be invisible.

I continue on my way, using every technique Dimitri had taught me. Funny, how Dimitri was always with me.

_Rose, _I chastise. _Stop wallowing in your own problems and be a Guardian for once in your life. _The thought makes me grimace and push forward, through the cool night, and into the chapel.

Viktor Dashkov sits on a chair in the corner, hands in his lap, looking quite pleasant and the slightest bit bored. He looks up as I enter, but doesn't at all seem surprised to see me.

"Rosemarie, you're looking well," he comments with disinterest, waving his hand in acknowlodgement, although all of Viktor's Guardians stiffen at my entrance.

"Really?" I chirp. "Because you look like shit."

An exaggeration, perhaps, but he is already starting to thin, his hair quickly graying, the veins looking almost painted onto his transluscent skin. I take pleasure in it, however cruel.

Not even blinking, he clicks his tongue disapprovingingly. "Now, now, Rosemarie, this is a place of God."

"Yet, you haven't burst into flames..."

He stands, holding himself with the most dignity, not seeming at all annoyed with my excessive supply of degrading comments. Once, I had admired this trait, but that had soured as soon as he had decided to join Team Insanity.

"Despite what you think, Rosemarie, I'm not the demon you take me for. All of this," he motions around him to the cluster of young dhampirs, "has a purpose."

"How," I inquire, "Does murdering innocent people have a purpose? You kidnapped my boyfriend! How can you find an excuse for this? How can you justify the deaths this will cause?"

Viktor simply shrugs, like we have been discussing simple business plans. "No one in innocent in this life, Rosemarie. Not really."

With a growl, I shake my head. I think of Lissa, defenseless against strigoi. I think of Mason, naive and determined. I think of Dimitri, who had no say in being turned, who had collapsed from the guilt of what he had unintentionally done. I think of Adrian, somehow pulled into the mess of my life. Loving and trusting Adrian, unaware to my feelings for another man.

"Yes. There is."

* * *

**Guess what? I'm still alive! Who would have thought, after my ridiculously long absence. I'm still having a bit of writer's block, but am also extremely busy. If anyone has any ideas, I'll be glad to hear them!**

**A special thanks to:**

**PlantNerd92**

**AlexandraOzera**

**Helena-Janetta-Jones**

**I absolutely loved hearing from you! Thanks for your messages, it meant a lot to me.**


	31. Irony

His expression doesn't change, he doesn't blink.

"Where's Adrian?" I demand finally, my voice coming out as a hiss.

Viktor smirks at me, his expression revealing nothing. "So many men you're forced to juggle, mmm?" he taunts, not touching on a response to my question. "I'm sure Belikov is alive with jealousy."

I can tell his patience is wearing away.

"Leave Dimitri out of this!" I spit defensively. "You wanted to talk to _me. _You used Adrian as a threat. I came for him, and I'm not about to get sidetracked."

Viktor smirks again, lips turning into a cruel smile. "You're right, my dear. So I have a proposition for you. The Ivashkov boy for Vasilisa."

I blink at his forwardness. Then again, Viktor was never one to hold back when he wanted something.

"What?" I gape. "These people are not pawns in your twisted games! I'm not going to trade my_ best friend _for my..."

Viktor raises a brow, awaiting my answer.

I growl. "I'm not trading Lissa for Adrian. I plan to come out of this with both of them. I am done letting you hurt Lissa, and I sure as hell won't let you hurt Adrian. You've screwed with me long enough, Viktor."

Oh God, if Viktor knew what Adrian could do, knew that he was a Spirit User, I might never see him again. I had to play this right.

"My dear, I'm not trying to _screw with you, _as you so sweetly put it. I'm simply proposing a trade."

"Where is he?" I croak. "I want to see him."

Viktor clicks his tongue, shaking his head. "Do you not trust me? Very well. Bring him in..."

From behind him, two dhampirs enter, each clutching one of Adrian's wrists.

"Rose!"

"Adrian-" I start towards him, but the dhampirs swarm, blocking my view.

I spin back to Viktor, hissing, but the man simply shrugs. Pleadingly, I face the rows of dhampirs that stand between Adrian and I.

"What are you doing?" I plead. "You've been trained to protect these people, and now you're holding them captive!"

"You Guardians are being enslaved!" One young dhampir argues, looking sickeningly smug. "You don't even realize it!"

"Enslaved?" I laugh. "We're being _paid. _We've got the option to move around, quit if we want to!"

A cocky male steps up. "You can't! You've been _brainwashed _since you started training."

I want to throttle the kid. "Brainwashed? _We've _been brainwashed? You're the ones fighting against your own species! You've been convinced that we're all evil, that Viktor's plan is the right one. Did you know that he's already tortured and kidnapped Lissa Dragomir once before? Did you know that he convinced his own daughter to turn _strigoi?" _

From the growl that emits his throat, I can tell that Viktor isn't pleased when the dhampirs begin to exchange nervous glances. Nevertheless, I continue.

"And what abou-"

"Enough, Rosemarie!" Viktor snaps. I can tell I've hit a nerve. He knows enough not to touch me, but his hands are fisted, his jaw tightened.

His face is inches apart from mine, and we glare at each other. Viktor doesn't get angry often, but when he does, he's absolutely intolerable.

I growl. "What do you want? I want Adrian, but I won't let you get anywhere _near _Lissa. I'll die before I let you hurt her!"

Viktor's thin lips twist into a smile. "That can be arranged, my dear. Hurting you would be the easiest way to affect Vasilisa. But then, I suppose it's not as easy as it sounds. I've already tried..."

A sudden wave of horror hits me, and I immediately take a step back. "What are you talking about?"

"The train, Rosemarie. Do you really think that the train you and your former-strigoi boyfriend just _happened _to be on was the one targeted. Honestly, Rosemarie." He gives me a sly smile, and I can feel as the entire world drops out from under me.

"You... You tried to kill me!" I screech. "What the _hell _is wrong with you? You've killed hundreds of people! You're crazy! You've lost it, Viktor. Is this all to get Lissa? She's not going to heal you!"

Shaking his head, the anger disappears from his eyes, and he smirks. "Oh, Rosemarie. I fear I might have overestimated your intelligence. Your inability to see the big picture is startling. I am not only focusing on something much larger. Vasilisa was only being used to heal me, for the time being, at least."

I bite my tongue, barely able to keep from throw his own naevity back into his face. Here he was, wanting Vasilisa to heal him, while he held a Spirit user in his hands.

* * *

**Sorry this is so short! I am really having trouble coming up with material. Well, PM me or comment if you have any ideas to help me out!**


	32. The Choice

The irony was incredible. He didn't even know! He held Adrian hostage in exchange for Lissa's powers, not even knowing what he really was!

And I couldn't let him know.

"She'll never heal you," I say shakily, trying to discard my previous realization. "She hates you! You tortured her! You tried to kill her! Why in hell would you ever think that she would heal you?"

My voice was coming back with every word. I hated him for what he did to Lissa, but now, I loathed him, I despised him with every fibre of my body, with every breath I took. I hated what he did to Lissa, what he did to Dimitri, what he could do to Adrian, and what he was going to make me do.

Viktor's thin lips curl upwards, although he doesn't look particularly pleased. "Because, _Rosemarie, _she wouldn't want you to suffer. If she turns herself in, then she won't have the guilt upon her shoulders of having made you watch your own boyfriend being tortured and killed before your very eyes."

I repress a shudder. "He's not...we're not..." My voice cracks, and Viktor smirks. "Take me. Leave Adrian alone. Take me, use _me _as bait. She'll come if I'm a hostage. You know it, Viktor. I'll be much more effective."

But Dimitri will never allow Lissa to go, even if I was in trouble. I hoped.

"Don't do it, Rose!" Adrian shouts, thrashing his head around to avoid being silenced. "No! Run, Rose! Get out of here! Leave, Rose, _NOW. _She needs you! Don't worry about me!"

"Shut up, Ivashkov," Viktor snarls. But Adrian's rant continues.

"Bastard! What the hell is wrong with you? Rose, get out of here! Protect Lissa! Protect her! Go, Rose! I swear, Dashkov, I'll kill you, you son of a bi-"

"Enough," Viktor barks, and several of his 'guards' step forward.

A dhampir brings the butt of his pistol down on the base of Adrian's skull, and he keels forwards, falling onto the wooden church floor. I give a yelp of surprise and horror. Viktor grins now, his paper-thin skin stretching across his face.

I take a step forward desperately, but a man, who looks no older than I, pulls a firearm from his coat, pointing it at my head. I freeze on the spot, and try as hard as I can to stop the tears from coming.

I'm pretty sure he won't kill me, but he won't hesitate to aim downwards and shoot Adrian. So I remain still.

"Stop! He didn't do anything! Leave him alone!" I beg. So much for my face of indifference. I'm desperate.

And he knows it.

"Rosemarie, Vasilisa will know that you want her safe if you've been held captive. But if you _beg _her to come..."

I take a threatening step forward. "_Never." _

Viktor's stone face doesn't falter. He nods towards his 'guards' once, and they immediately bend down, grabbing Adrian's unconcious body and jerking him upwards.

"Don't touch him!" I cry. "What are you trying to do? Is this worth it? Are all of these lives worth it, Viktor? What is it that you're trying to accomplish?"

One side of his mouth quirks upwards. "If I told you that, there would be no room for surprise, Rosemarie."

"This is why _your _plans don't succeed. Why do you need to change the world by killing innocent people? Why can't you do it legally? Honestly?"

What was this, a damned Christmas special? I was spurting out nonsense now. I was preaching against violence, yet all I wanted was to be in an enclosed space with Viktor and be in possession of a heavy object.

"When has your life ever been fair and honest, Rosemarie?" Viktor says sweetly, cooing. "You don't have the chance to be a kid. Vasilisa has taken that away from you. You're forced to protect her, forced to put her above yourself. Forced to give up any romantic relationships. They chose what you eat, what you do, who you love. You're stuck on a path someone else has chosen for you, a path you can't escape. There is no fair for you, Rosemarie, because your life is controlled by someone else, someone who didn't _decide_ to give you your freedom."

My chest was heaving now. His words drew up painful memories from my discussions with Deidre.

"I," I whisper. "Would rather have no choices at all then choose between my two best friends. And you're wrong. They don't make me fight. I fight to protect the people I love, because if they were gone, then all the freedom in the world wouldn't make it a world I want to live in."

This is obviously not the answer he was hoping for, because his brow furrows. But he manages to pull himself together.

Viktor smirks. "Then I suppose you have a choice to make, Rosemarie."

I'm hopeless. This isn't something I can fight my way out of. This isn't a test of my skill, of my abilities. I can't win.

"Well, Rosemarie? Make your choice. Vasilisa or Ivashkov? Do you give up Vasilisa or let the boy die?"

My head pulses and pounds, my whole body shakes under the weight. I couldn't choose between two of my best friends, my bondmate and my ex-boyfriend. Two Moroi, and only one of them could come first.

"I...I..."

The church doors slam open behind me, making the whole building quake. I don't spin, don't turn my back, don't allow myself to become even more vulnerable to Viktor and his gang of dhampirs. Unfortunately, the sense of security doesn't last long.

Dimitri appears beside me, before me, before the dhampirs force him onto his knees. Even kneeling, he is about Viktor's shoulder height. _Not him, too..._

Bile rises into my throat, and my chest becomes tight.

Because if Dimitri is here...

Where's Lissa?

* * *

**okay, still a little short, but the next one'll be longer! At least I'm updating!**

**Please review, guys!**


	33. Where's Lissa?

**I know! I know! It's terribly late, and I'm sure half of you have lost interest by now. I really would love to hear some ideas from you... Anything? ****And although I am struck with writer's block, I will NOT, in any way, EVER be abandoning this story. I promise you I will finish it. So please, any suggestions will definitely be appreciated!  
Just a warning, this chapter is a little intense, and probably borders on an M rating, but definitely not for any romance. Just violent content.**

**-PeaceRoseG'ladheon**

**~xXx~**

He doesn't catch my gaze, doesn't acknowledge my presence. He simply stares forward as he is dragged up the pews and forced to kneel before Viktor.

Dimitri height reaches Viktor's shoulders, even when on his knees, but Viktor is obviously trying to intimidate him.

"Don't touch him," I hiss. I'm completely ignored by both Viktor and Dimitri, as they continue to stare each other down.

"My, my. It looks as though we have a reunion, here, Belikov. And after all this time, too." He circles Dimitri, his eyes locking on me, taunting, teasing. "Look how much young Rosemarie's grown. Of course, _some _of us have been treating her that way for quite some time, now..."

Dimitri didn't flinch, doesn't move.

"A hardened, seasoned veteran she has turned out to be, hmm? Risking her own young life for the one she loved, only to be tossed aside when his eyes fell to another, a _younger _woman. Vasilisa, if I've heard correctly?" he jeers, his eyes narrowing like a serpents.

Dimitri's shoulders tense, but he grits his teeth together. I recognize that look. I've tested that look.

He's trying to control his temper.

"I don't know what you're talking about," he seethes, and turns back into the stone guardian I know. And love.

Viktor clicks his tongue disapprovingly. "Surely becoming a soulless creature of the night hasn't impacted your memory?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," was the only reply he received.

Viktor tightens his jaw. "Where is Vasilisa?"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

I bite back a cheer as a scowl swept across Viktor's face. I, as hot-headed as I was, would never be able to contain myself long enough to frustrate Viktor.

"Where is the Princess, Belikov? We can kill you in an instant!"

"_I don't know what you're talking about!_"

Both men's voices were rising in volume: Viktor's with anger, Dimitri's with triumph. And I was a mere witness to it all.

But as stubborn and strong as _Dimitri_ was, _I _couldn't help a cry of shock as the fist of one of the dhampirs made sharp contact with his jaw.

His head was snapped to the side, and his eyes made brief contact with my own.

Determination.

Slowly, so slowly, he turns to face his captors, my captors, his eyes blazing with a fury I had thought I would never see again.

"We've searched the entire building, Belikov, she's not there. Where is Vasilisa?"

"I don't know what-"

Another blow steals the words from his throat.

The abuse continues.

One punch sends Dimitri's face to my direction again, and I see everything. A black eye, a split lip, a bruised jaw. Oh God...

"Where is she?" Viktor hisses.

"I. Don't. Know. What. You're. Talking. About." And Dimitri spits a mouthful of blood at his shoes.

With a sigh, Viktor slams the tip of his boot into Dimitri's gut, sending him toppling over, desperately trying to rake in enough breath. Viktor slides his boot under his ribs and wipes the blood and saliva off of the dark leather.

"Now, Rosemarie. I think it's your turn."

I hear a groan of protest from Dimitri, who still writhes on the ground in pain.

"Go ahead!" I blurt. "Torture me! Kill me! It won't matter! You can do whatever you want to me, Dashkov, but I will _**not **_let you anywhere near Lissa. Anything you do to me will just remind me why I need to protect her!"

Viktor grins. "Precisely. Why do you think we've questioned your ex-lover first? I know you, Rosemarie. I know you wouldn't give up any information no matter what we inflicted upon you..."

Taking a few steps back, Viktor places the sole of his shoe on Dimitri's temple and grounds it into the wooden floorboards. "But, my dear, I don't intend to do a single thing to _you."_

With the swift wave of his hand, a dhampir swoops down, carving a trail into Dimitri's back with his stake.

I scream.

"No!"

"Where is Vasilisa?"

I bite my lip, and cast my eyes downwards as another stripe is cut into his flesh.

The brutality continues, and Dimitri's shirt, and back, is torn to pieces. Nothing, _nothing _Viktor could have done to me could have had the same impact as what I am now witnessing. They torture him, marking marks that would undoubtedly scar. I'm breaking.

And he knows it.

Tears are streaming down my face, and I call out to him, sob, scream profanities. Anything to drown out the noise of his painful cries.

I jerk my wrists from the guard's grasps and throw myself at Dimitri's body. Shielding his form with my own, I bury my face into his neck, waiting for the blows to continue.

But they don't.

"Well, I see young Rosemarie does have a breaking point..."

I am peeled away from him, despite my jerky movements and attempted fight. "Don't _touch _him!"

Dimitri is pulled up as well, blood seeping through what left of his t-shirt.

"Well, Rosemarie? We're waiting..." Viktor taunts.

"Okay!" I sob. "Okay! She's..."

Oh God. Could I really betray my best friend?

We were like sisters. We had been through everything together. Teachers, boys, death. I couldn't just throw it all away, could I?

Then again, I couldn't let Dimitri die. Neither one of us would want that...

But they come first.

Right?

"She's with the fortune teller. Near... near the spa on the other side of Court. Rhonda. Ambrose's aunt. Please don't hurt her! Please..."

Viktor's guards release me, letting me fall onto the wooden floor, sobbing, as they storm passed the pews, off to find Lissa.

And Dimitri and I are dragged down the aisles of the church, away from Viktor.

Who is grinning smugly.

**~xXx~**

We are deposited into the church's attic, thrown amongst piles of papers and books.

Doesn't every vampire chapel have an attic? And did they all have to be filled with ancient, useless information, all written down on hundreds of thousands of sheets of paper.

Dimitri emits a low groan, and I immediately cease my streaming tears and crawl over to him. I rip the t-shirt away, hissing in sympathy pain.

"How bad is it?" He rumbles softly.

"Not so bad," I lie, and dab at the welts on his back with a scrap of my own shirt.

He grunts and tenses, but doesn't say a word, and neither one of us speaks. I do a fast, half-decent job of cleaning him up and quickly push myself off of the ground. I turn my back and allow him to rise into sitting position without hiding his pain.

Digging my hands into piles of papers, I let them drop onto the floor.

"Why did you do it?" he asks softly, breaking through our silence.

"Do what?" I ask, piling the papers and cardboard.

"Lie to Viktor about Vasilisa's whereabouts. They're going to realize that she's not there. And then what do you think he'll do to you?"

I sigh. "He can do whatever the fu-"

"_Rose..._"

"...he can do whatever he wants to me. But there is no way in hell he's going to hurt you. Or Lissa. Or Adrian." I dump another load of papers onto the ground with added enthusiasm.

I can imagine him raising a brow at me, but I refuse to turn his way. "And you think he's just going to let us go? Be reasonable, Roza, denial isn't like you."

_Roza._

"I'm not in denial. And I'm not your Roza. Not anymore."

"Rose..."

"No!" I pick up an entire box of files and spill them across the floorboards. "No, Dimitri. I was a different person then. I was naive. I was stupid. Not anymore. I've changed. You've changed me."

I hear a shaky breath from behind me. "Roza, please, I don't even know how to begin to apologize for what I had done in Russia. I feel guilt beyond what you believe, a self-hatred that seems to be a part of me. Rose, believe me, if I could have taken it all back, if I could have made you stay in Montana, I would-"

I send a tower of cardboard boxes tumbling to the ground, breaking his sentence. "No, Dimitri. I'm not angry with you. I've forgiven you. It's you who has been wallowing in guilt and self-pity for all of these months. I forgave you as soon as you came back, and thought everything would be like it was. I loved you. But you turned me away. You just rejected me. Nothing from the past mattered. And I tried to give you time, tried to wait for you. But I'm _done_ waiting for things to fall into place. It's not going to happen. I'm not going to just wait to die, wait for things to get better, wait for you to come back to me."

I brace my foot against the wall and tug at the window sill. With enough force, the left side of the wooden frame pulls right off of the wall.

"No, Dimitri, I'm done waiting. Things don't get better. Not with you, not with Mason's death, not with this. I don't need Lissa's help, I don't need some therapist's help, and I certainly do _not _need _your _help."

I throw the length of wood over my shoulder like a baseball bat and slam it against the wall, splintering it.

"I have to do things for myself."

I kneel in the centre of the chaos and begin to work.

"Rose, what are you going to do?" He asks, his voice small, so small.

I look up from my place on the floor. Papers are scattered around me, spiraling in a long, white train, every piece connected. I bend over the splinters of woods and continue to saw away at one piece with the other. I can already feel the slivers that are burrowing into my skin, the blood that is beginning to well at my fingertips.

"I'm going to burn the chapel down."

**~xXx~**

**Finally! The plot is picking back up! Hallelujah!**

**Rose is finally hardening up. I have to admit, while writing this, she definitely reminded me of Janine. **


	34. Arsonist

A stunned silence fills the air, one that is only broken by the sound of friction.

"...Rose?"

"Yes?"

I refuse to look up, just continue to rub the splinters of wood together.

"Rose, have you gone mad?"

I am suddenly jerked away from my work, thrown and pinned on the ground.

"Have_ you? _Dimitri, get off of me!" I struggle and fight, but he grips onto my wrists.

"No, Rose! Are you insane? You'll kill us all! You want to start a fire while we're locked in an attic?"

"Let me go!"

He growls and presses harder against me, trying to quiet my fighting. "Have you lost your mind? Rose, you'll kill us both, and then who will protect Vasilisa? I won't let you do this!"

I repress the urge to be calmed by my former-mentor. I am done with calm, rational discussions. I needed to take action, I wasn't just going to sit by and wait for things to get better.

So I continue to struggle against him, trying to throw him off of me. When that fails to be effective, I bring my knee up right into his gut, giving me the chance to roll us over and pin him underneath my legs.

"I don't care what you're going to _let _me do. I'm going to do what I want. Do you want me to tie you up? Because I will..."

He grunts and bucks wildly, trying to dislodge me from his waist, but I hold tight.

"Listen to me. I have a plan. And if you're going to go against me on this, and stand in my way, then I'm going treat you like any of the other dhampirs downstairs that are going to try and stop me. Got it? I've got this. Now, are you going to trust me or not?"

We are both panting heavily, watching each other.

"Okay," he whispers hoarsely. "Alright."

Slowly, so slowly, I reach down, and brush a strand of dark hair from his damp face.

Memories swirl, and I see us, over a year ago, when he had pinned me in the gym. Now, roles reversed, I was sitting on his chest, and he was where I was all those months ago.

Vurnerable.

"Viktor will know that you lied about Vasilisa's whereabouts, soon."

Repressing a shudder that threatens to pulse through my body, I simply nod, and clamber off of him.

"Sorry about-"

"Yeah," he grunts, wincing and gritting his teeth as he rises, his arm slung across his midsection, where I've shoved my knee into his side. "Can I do anything to help?" He motions the kindling and paper in the center of the room.

I give him a small smile and shake my head. "Sit down and shut up."

"Be glad to."

I quietly get back to work, trying, and failing, to torch this place. My desperation begins to increase as time passes. Viktor could be returning any second, and I'm still desperately trying to start a fire. Finally, _finally, _smoke starts to rise. But unfortunately, no fire.

I let out a growl of frustration and scrub the pieces together with more effort. Nothing.

After a noted moment of hesitation, Dimitri slowly crawls over beside me and cups his hands gently around mine. With a calmness I've only experienced from him a handful of times, he leans over and begins to exhale gently onto the slivers of the window sill. A flame jumps up, slowly turning the wood to ashes. The fire dances in Dimitri's dark eyes, as he gazes at me through pieces of fallen hair.

We smile.

"What? A Boy Scout, too?" I raise my eyebrows in question.

I gently lower my kindling, letting the flame touch the papers that spiral around me, and watch as the fire spreads. Dimitri grabs my hand, pulling me up from our place on the floor.

"Now what?"

"Now, we wait until someone sees the smoke."

It won't take long, as the rest of the papers absorb the flame, shooting up and licking the ceiling.

"Rose, we could very well be dead by then!"

I grin darkly and make my way over to the crease of the slanted ceiling and the floor. With a forceful kick, I shatter the window. It's a small, rectangular window a few feet off of the ground, barely large enough for us to sqeeze through. But it's all we've got.

"Hurry up. We don't have much time."

As soon as the words leave my mouth, the attic door has been flung open, and a flood of oxygen sweeps through the room, making the flames soar.

I wiggle through the thin window, with a boost from Dimitri, of course, turning around and pulling myself onto the roof. I lean down and hold my hand out to Dimitri.

He grabs for my hand, and tries to pull himself out after me, but he struggles. His shoulders are broad, his hips too wide, and the window is thin.

"Dimitri!" I tug at his hand and manage to pull him free, but not before a dhampir, one of Viktor's guards, latches onto his ankle.

He clings onto the edge of the roof, swinging his body, catching a man, not much older than me, in the side of his jaw. He stumbles back, into the flames, and Dimitri does a pull-up, and clambers onto the shingles beside me.

"What's your plan, now?"

I grip his wrist, running to the other side of the roof, feeling the heat on the bottom of my feet. Easing myself over the side, I shimmy down the drainpipe, ignoring the temperature that radiates from the metal.

When my feet hit the ground, the stain-glass window blows outward, showering me with shards of glass. The flames roar, and I throw myself onto the ground, shielding my face.

"Rose!"

Over the whistling fire, I hear a thud, and a face appears above me, hovering.

"Rose? Rose, can you hear me?" His finger touches my cheek, and when he pulls back, I see it stained with blood.

I choose not to answer him, and pull myself up, stalking off along the side of the church, ducking to avoid windows.

But Dimitri will have none of it, and he grabs at my wrist.

"Rose! Stop. Wait. Are you alright? Just take a minute, you're bleeding. Are you feeling nauseous? Light-headed?"

I swat away his hands. "Stop it. We need to get Adrian out."

Based on the location of the front doors, and my knowledge of where they dragged Adrian off into, I slide next to the window, nodding to Dimitri. He sends me one more concerned look before slipping out of his jacket. He wraps the leather around his knuckles, and slams his fist into the glass, shifting so I am shielded from any stray pieces.

One, two, three seconds pass, and no one comes to investigate, so Dimitri clambers into the small window.

Before I can crawl in after him, he appears before me. "Rose, he's not here," he shouts over the hiss of the flames, and my gut sinks.

Dimitri hops back onto the ground and grabs my wrist, dragging me behind him towards the center of Court.

* * *

**Don't hate me! I know, it's been forever, but I have been so incredibly busy lately that I just don't have the time to write! Forgive this terribly crappy chapter, and, once again, I would _love _to have some ideas on what you would like to see... so...**

**Somebody? Anybody?**

**Thank you for being so patient, for those of you still reading.**

**-PRG**


	35. Hidden Doors and Secret Passageways

**I'm sorry it's taken me so long!**

**But here it is, the newest chapter. I wish I could tell you the number of chapters left, but it always ends up longer than I expect.**

* * *

"_What?" _I shriek, squirming and fighting, trying to pry my wrist out of his grip. "Have you lost it? We have to go back! We have to find him! Let me go, you stupid, son of a b-"

Dimitri whirls, his eyes blazing. In all the things I've ever said to him, this was probably the first time I had truly been intentionally hurtful and insulting. "The chapel is _burning, _Rose. We need to get away from anyone associated with Viktor. Adrian is gone, and right now, the fire is his biggest threat. He's safe."

Spoken like a true guardian.

I swallow the lump in my throat, the smoke of the fire leaving a dry, burning trail.

"Rose, you have to trust me."

Slowly, so slowly, I slide my hand into his.

He continues on, tugging me behind him. We fled away from the dhampir buildings, away from the Moroi apartments, away from Lissa's hiding spot. "Then where are we going?"

"Away. As far away from Viktor as we can be while trying to figure this out."

"Figure _what _out? Dimitri-"

But he doesn't say a word, and we just continue to run into the dark of the night. The Court is eerily quiet, everyone in lockdown. We are alone, it seems, just the two of us. When we get to the crumbling brick dhampir buildings, Dimitri lets go of my hand and leaps upwards, closing his fingers around the bottom rung of the fire-escape ladder that twines up up the side of the building. The whole thing comes sliding down with a screech of metal.

"Hurry," is all he says. "Someone will have heard that."

He grabs me by the waist and gives me a boost, clasping my thighs until I can grab onto the ladder. Following me, he instructs me to keep climbing, climbing, until we're almost near the top of the aged structure.

I stop when he tells me, pressing against the rungs when he crawls right over top of me, trying to pry open the unmoving window. I can feel his muscles tense, and can tell he's using the full force of his body to try and open the damned thing.

It doesn't budge.

After several minutes with no success, I sigh and lean forward, stripping off his leather jacket. Wrapping it around my knuckles, I slam my fist into the window, shattering the glass.

Once we both clamber inside, I raise my eyebrows at him and hand him back his duster, trying to keep a smirk from my face.

Silently, he slips back into his coat, avoiding my gaze, and takes the lead once more.

I hate not being in on these plans, but I restrain my temper and let him take control. And I despise myself for it.

We creep down the hall. By the time we reach the door at the end of the hall, he already has tensed his body, prepared to break down the door. In one smooth movement, the door is open and we are inside.

By the less-than-neat state of the room, I can tell this isn't Dimitri's apartment.

"Where are we?" I whisper, staying in the middle of the room while Dimitri scurries around, entering the kitchenette, pulling out knives and any sharp objects he can find. "This isn't your room, is it?"

Dimitri shakes his head. "No. They removed any potential weapons after assigning me this room."

Although he shrugs it off, I can see how it pains him.

"So whose room did we just break into?"

Dimitri shrugs once again, and continues to rummage around the place. The world outside is dark, and the light of the moon is barely enough to be able to see, even with our dhampir eyes. We stumble through the dark, too afraid to turn on the light and alert the opposing world of our presence.

He wraps any sharp ends in whatever thick material he can find and divides them between the two of us, allowing me to shove my pockets full of the weapons. One advantage of fighting dhampirs-there were more than a rare selection of ways to kill them. Unfortunately, that also applied to us. We had to be just as careful.

Once our pockets are full, we exit the room and find a different escape, sliding down the drainpipe.

I grab the hem of Dimitri's leather sleeve as allow him to lead me through the dark alleys. I wonder if some of the heightened senses of being a strigoi remained with him...

The padding of our shoes against the pavement are the only sounds that can be heard. We don't talk, barely breathe. I can feel as my heart slams against my ribcage, and can feel the heat of Dimitri's skin, as well as his own thundering pulse when my hand brushes his wrist.

"Where would Viktor be?" I whisper in his ear. "Where do you think he's gone to?"

"I don't know. Someplace safe. Someplace with low security, but still hidden."

With a gasp, I jerk Dimitri's sleeve back, snapping him in the other direction, and take the lead. I can tell he's surprised at the turn of events, but he follows nevertheless.

His hand spins and he ends grabbing my wrist. "Care to explain where you're taking me?"

I pull him along. "To the Queen's old quarters. Secure, because, she was the Queen, but no one will be guarding it, because she's... well, you know."

As we move closer and closer, I pull Dimitri down behind a rose bush in the garden that lines the entrance to Queen Tatiana's old house. Although we can barely make it out, I can distinguish two dhampirs guarding the front entrance.

"Good call," breathes Dimitri in my ear, and he shifts, up onto his toes, and begins to creep closer to the guards.

Sliding a knife out of his pocket, he holds the blade between two fingers, testing the weight, before throwing it effortlessly into the mid-section of the dhampir on the left.

I don't hesitate, using the momentary distraction to leap from my hiding spot and smash the second dhampir's head into the stone, letting him crumple to the ground.

In a morbid curiosity, I lean over, examining the wound of the knife on our first victim. A clean shot, perhaps not killing him, but seriously injuring him, obviously.

How the hell had he done that?

"Seriously, Belikov?" He rolls his eyes in his normal _avoiding-any-conversation-about-his-unbelievable-skill _sort of way, and helps me drag the bodies behind the bushes, hiding them from view. "You must have been unbeatable at darts. You _have _to teach me how to do that."

"Make you a deal. If we get out of this alive, I'll teach you whatever the _hell _you want to know," he promises, his dark hair falling over his eyes once more.

I slide an extra elastic off of my wrist and give him a moment to secure the strands at the base of his neck. "And what's my end of the deal?"

He gives me a serious look, one that I can't decode. "You just have to stay alive."

Without letting me ponder his words, we slide into the building.

The front hall is unbelievably grand, with marble floors and plush carpets. An enormous chandeliar hangs overhead.

I immediately turn so I am back-to-back with Dimitri as we slowly make our way up the grand staircase. I am carefully watching the dark shadows near the bottom of the steps for any sign of movement, as I'm sure Dimitri is doing as we near the top.

I bring whatever weapon I can into my hands, gripping onto it, fearing that it will slip from my grasp with my sweating hands. We search the entire house thoroughly, but we don't see any movement, or hear even the slightest of breaths.

"They have to be here," Dimitri whispers, as if reading my thoughts. "Why else would his dhampirs be guarding the entrance. They must be here."

I knew he was right, but, despite what the entire Moroi population seemed to believe, I had never been in the Queen's house before, and certainly hadn't been through her bedchambers and private quarters to murder her.

"Does this place have a cellar?" I ask quietly, more to offer the information than to ask if Dimitri if he knows. "Or maybe an attic?"

Frowning in thought, he takes my hand once again and leads me up the stairs, checking every door in the corridor of the highest floor until we find a winding case of rickety wooden stairs leading to an unknown location.

I begin the ascend first, but Dimitri pulls me back, and steps in first himself. "What the hell are you doing?" I hiss.

"Scouting ahead," he replies bluntly. I grab at his shoulder, but he shrugs me off. "Enough. I won't put you in danger."

"_Me _in danger? Who the hell do you think you are? This is my battle, Dimitri, the only reason you were brought here was to break me. _You _decided to tag along, alright? You're not my mentor anymore! You don't call the shots! Can't you shut up and listen for once? Damn it, Dimitri, I really hate you sometimes."

He blinks in surprise at my harsh tone. I have never, _never, _spoken to him like that before, at least while completely sober and free of spirit influence. I suppose this night was full of surprises.

"Alright."

So, with a reluctant hand on my hip, he follows me up the pitch-black staircase.

Call it Guardian senses, but after several minutes of catious climbing, I reached gently above me, and felt that the steps simply lead up to a dead end, the ceiling.

"A dead end?" I curse.

I feel his hand slide up my back through the unseeing darkness, using me as a guide to find the slanted wall. He shifts for several minutes, before I feel his breath in my ear.

"There are handles, here. It's a door."

Tugging does nothing to open the double doors, but when he thrusts his arms upwards, they easily fly back, sending a rush of cold air spiraling around us.

Dimitri and I step up into the night, onto the flat roof of the Queen's quarters, the seering wind swirling at the ends of our hair, the hems of our jackets.

Viktor sits on a small lawn chair, surrounded by countless of his dhampir guards.

Adrian, bound and gagged, is at his feet.

* * *

**I'm terribly sorry for how long it is taking for me to update, I really am! I didn't use to be this bad! I've just been so busy these past few months!**

**But, if it helps, for those who are actually still ready, than I'd like to let you know that I have finally figured out how to continue with this story, although it's quickly drawing to an end. Not quite yet, mind you, so if you can stick with me, it'll be great!**

**-PRG**


	36. Mercy

**Woah! Fast update! Just a warning for you, this chapter _is _a bit fast-paced, so I hope you won't hold it against me! I definately wouldn't recommend skimming through this one!**

* * *

"How long was that, Rosemarie, half an hour, to find us? I would have expected more from you."

The overwhelming realization that I am almost certainly going to die prevents me from talking, I simply clench my jaw shut.

Dimitri puts a protective hand on my shoulder. "What are your intentions, Viktor? What do you want with Rose?"

His thin lips curl up into a sickly smile, causing Dimitri to grip my shoulder a little tighter.

We are severely outnumbered, at least ten to one. I've always been determined, and the optimist in any fight, but even I know there is no way we can get out of this alive. Ironic, how my whole life, I had been prepared to die to protect those around me, but even after intensive training, I was in no way ready to give it all up. Not really.

I was shadow kissed, and well aquainted with death, but that didn't mean I _wanted _to die. It didn't mean I was ready to see what was on the other side, whatever is out there. I want to live. I still have so much, so much I could have done, so much I needed to say.

I needed to tell Adrian that although I didn't love him, he still meant the world to me. I needed to tell Lissa that I would always look out for her, no matter where I was. And Dimitri. Perhaps I should tell Dimitri that I don't really hate him after all.

A thin, trembling Moroi is stationed at Viktor's side, silent, nervous.

Robert Doru.

"What do you want with me, Viktor?" I demand, hearing the unhidden force in my voice. "Why have you been targeting me and my friends? And what do you want with Adrian?"

Viktor simply smirks once more, and crosses one thin, boney leg over the other. Robert stands to his right, gripping the back of his chair.

"Rosemarie, how many times must I tell you? The boy is simply a tool for persuasion. I need Vasilisa. And, Rosemarie, to be quite honest, I only want you dead."

Now that caught me by surprise. It takes me a minute to swallow my shock. "Dead?"

"Hence the train crashing. I was attempting to get rid of you and your Moroi lover," he kicked Adrian at his feet. "And make it look like an accident, as well as make the whole fiasco a big enough event that there would be no suspicion whatsoever of foul play, and the bodies would take quite some time to locate and recognize, so Vasilisa wouldn't suspect anything. And if it weren't for your cradle-robbing _ex-_lover, I would have succeeded. Perhaps the old saying is true, after all. If you want something done _right, _you must do it yourself."

My head is swimming, my heart pounding. He wanted to destroy me _and _Adrian?

"What role does Ivashkov play in this?" Dimitri demands, speaking for me. His hand has crept from my right shoulder to the left, his arm crossing my neck in a protective hold. Smart, since he probably knew I would shove him back if he tried to stand between me and Viktor. Oddly enough, I appreciated the comfort.

"Vasilisa is fragile, and depends on many people. You and Lord Ivashkov, for instance. And if he was taken care of, then I wouldn't have to worry about him angry and seeking revenge for your death." Viktor threads his spidery fingers through Adrian's hair, forcing his head upwards, gripping him and clenching his fingers. Adrian squirms in his bounds, his cries muffled by the fabric gag.

Viktor's eyes flick towards Dimitri, who has instinctively pulled me back against his chest. "Perhaps I should have been more concerned about Belikov. Honestly, I didn't think I'd have to worry about him, Rosemarie, after he so cruelly abandoned you. Lucky for you, for if he didn't come crawling back, you and young Ivashkov here would have perished in that train disaster. Tell me, Belikov, did you decide to start caring for young Rosemarie again before or after Vasilisa and Christian Ozera began dating once more? Did she choose him over you?"

Although I knew nothing had happened between Dimitri and Lissa, I still felt the familiar pang. Dimitri, on the other had, had gone unnaturally stiff, his grip on me bordering on painful.

"It's not true," he whispers hoarsely in my ear. "Rose, it's not true. It's not true. I would never... You know that-"

"I know," I answer, never taking my eyes off of Viktor. "I know. Don't let him get to you."

But Viktor continues with his abuse, pushing Dimitri too far. "And she moved on so quickly. It couldn't have been more than a few weeks after she came back to America that she started dating Lord Ivashkov. Then again, I'm sure what happened between the two of you in Russia was something poor Rosemarie would have liked to forget."

Dimitri's breathing had sped up, and I could feel his pulse beating against my shoulders. "I encouraged her to move on. It's what I wanted for her," he hissed evenly, despite his shaking body.

Viktor only smiled. With a wave of his hand, an army of his dhampirs step forward. Dimitri tenses for a fight, beginning to wrap his arms protectively around me, but I shrug him off.

"No. No, you don't have to force me into your sick plans. Tell me what you're trying to do. Tell me what you want with Lissa."

Viktor stands shakily, and Robert dives to assist him, only to be gently brushed off. "My patience is wearing thin, Rosemarie."

"_Tell me!" _

He grits his teeth together. "I am making a... _collection _of sorts. Gathering together Spirit users. Vasilisa will be most helpful, and the most powerful, yet. I need Vasilisa, but you are much stronger than I give you credit for, as always, and will stand in my way until you breathe your last breath. So I'm proposing a trade. Vasilisa for Ivashkov's safety and Belikov's life. Maybe this method will prevent you from standing in my way."

The only relief I recieved was knowing that Viktor didn't know about Adrian's abilities in Spirit. I couldn't lose them both. This was my only advantage in this situation, I just didn't know how to use the information. Not yet, at least.

"How," I inquire. "Do you expect me to choose between them? Lissa is my _charge._" _Sort of..._

"And Vasilisa is destined for great things! She can do so much good in this world, she has so much potential! There is so much that I could do for her, if you'd let her join me! But she is stunted by her youth and her lack of family support. She could lead a revolution! She could lead the dhampirs from near slavery, lead the Moroi from their hiding places! We could create an army! An undying army, backed Spirit users! No battle would be lost, no lives would be lost! Not with the power of magic on our sides!"

My breath caught in my throat, and my stomach sunk so low I felt nauseous. "An immortal army? You're trying to create an undefeatable army? Enslaving Spirit users to heal your soldiers so they'll never die?" I cry, disbelieving.

Viktor stalks forward, that cocky, arrogant air around him returning. "We could save our races. We could defeat all strigoi. We could finally triumph. Imagine it! An army of magic-users! We could be great!"

"What about the dhampirs?" I interrupt, my gut heavy with nausea at the very thought of his ideas. "What role will we play in all of this? Will you just cast us aside? Kill us as well?"

Angered, Viktor takes a threatening step forward, but one young dhampir guarding him speaks up. He looks several years older than me, but I think him naive, clueless. "The dhampirs will be free! Free to choose the path of their own lives!"

I swallow back the hopeless feeling that builds within my throat. I cannot speak. Starting when I sense a presence beside me, I feel the warmth of support when Dimitri threads his fingers with mine, standing beside me. "And what if we _want _to fight? What place will we have if the path we choose is to fight to protect the ones we love?"

Everyone pauses at his words, but Viktor is the only one who recovers fast enough to answer. "Then they will fight alongside us. Perhaps they will not be quite as useful as a Moroi who can fire flames at strigoi from ten feet away, but their hand to hand fighting can have it's place."

"And what happens," I hiss, "If we fall in battle? How will you choose between the life of a dhampir and the life of a Moroi, if we both need assistance? What if those Spirit users don't have enough strength left? Who gets to live, Viktor?"

His eyes narrow suspiciously, as if he is cautious to fall into the trap I've set. "That is always a difficult choice to make..."

"But they come first, don't they? Didn't you tell me yourself that Moroi could do so much more than simple magic tricks? Don't you think Moroi powers are worth so much more? The dhampirs have nothing but physical strength, and that's why we are chosen to defend the Moroi. Nothing will have changed, not from now. Dhampirs will only see medical attention after all of the Moroi are accounted for. The only difference is you've enslaved these poor Spirit users and will sacrifice them to fufill your mad plans.

"And when will it end, Viktor? When will you stop, once you've defeated the strigoi and are the control centre of an all-powerful army? Who will you fight? Will you take on the dhampirs? Or try to control the human world?"

I am sucking in breath now, the energy drained from my body. He was a monster, truly a monster. He had tried to kill me, kill Adrian, but failed. Realizing my worth, he tricked and manipulated me, knowing he'd have the advantage over Vasilisa. And now he planned to torture the Spirit users, put the dhampirs willing to fight under even worse conditions and more dangerous situations?

Several of the dhampirs turn towards Viktor, waiting, expectant, doubting. He swallowed slowly. "That's not true."

"It's not?" I mock loudly, gaining back my confidence.

"We are out to _protect our people!_" he roared, his calm exterior collapsing. "_You're too young to realize! You're just a child! Naive and stupid!"_

Dimitri has stayed quiet for the exchange, only gripping my hand tighter to comfort me. I need to do this on my own.

"I'm not a child, Viktor. Not anymore. I've seen my best friend die, my dignity shattered, the love of my life turned into a monster. No, I'm not a child. I lost any trace of innocence when I experienced _first hand _the torture of my closest friend and charge, when love became a distraction and nearly cost me Lissa. You took it from me Viktor."

Viktor is now shaking from rage, beyond consolation. Robert slips beside him, gently putting a comforting hand on his shoulder, but he is violently shrugged off.

"Seize her," Viktor commands. "Seize both of them!"

The dhampirs hesitate, exchanging nervous glances.

"_NOW!"_

I am wretched away from Dimitri, my hands tied securely behind my back, and pushed roughly onto my knees, at the mercy of my captor. Viktor grips my chin, squeezing my jaw between his cold, boney fingers, forcing me to look at him.

"Where is Vasilisa, Rosemarie? Don't make me kill Lord Ivashkov and your cradle-robbing lover."

Odd, how I'd end up in the same situation as Viktor was in himself. Sacrificing lives, lives that aren't my own, for my own benefit. Avoid torture by revealing Lissa. Keep my best friend and watch as Adrian and Dimitri died. I couldn't choose. I had to come up with a plan, a way to sacrifice myself.

And I had never done anything half-assed.

"I'll make you a deal, Viktor."

He snarls in my face. "I don't play games, Rosemarie."

"It's more than a game. It's a match, a battle. We play to the death."

Viktor raises a brow. "What are you suggesting, _Rosemarie?_"

Despite his attempts at intimidation, I stand my ground, not letting myself shy away, refusing to feel fear, even though I knew this would most certainly end in my death.

"I'll fight you Viktor. No guards, no extra force. You get to use your advantages, and I'll use mine. You've got magic, I've got nineteen years of physical training. Use your own powers, use Robert's. Use whatever you have. Last man standing, last man _living, _wins. I win, this is all over. I walk away a free woman. But if you win..."

I take in a shaky breath, letting the full effect of my gamble sink in. "If you win, Dimitri here will tell you where Lissa is."

"No!" comes a roar from behind me, from a struggling, desperate Dimitri.

"Yes, Dimitri," I say bravely. "You have to. A deal's a deal."

Everyone turns to him, staring him down. I beg him, plead with him with hard, cold eyes to trust me. But I don't trust myself.

"Okay. Okay, I give you my word," he whispers.

Slowly, stone faced, I turn my gaze back to Viktor.

"Go ahead. Give it your best shot."

He smiles.

"Let the games begin."


	37. The Best You've Got?

_"Let the games begin."_

The only people who seem uneasy about this agreement are Viktor's guards and, of course, Dimitri.

"Go ahead, Viktor," I encourage. "It's your move."

Suddenly, the earth begins to rumble, and it makes me stagger backwards. Just as quickly as it starts, it ends, my only battle marks are few strands of hair out of place.

Viktor raises a brow, and gestures for me to continue.

"That's the best you've got?" I say slowly, taking a step forward and reaching into my pocket for a kitchen knife, previously stolen from the old apartment.

The snakey smile I've become so familiar with slithers back onto his face. The ground become to rumble once more, but this time, it didn't stop. The murmur turned into a powerful roar, shaking me to my core. It seems I am the only one targeted, because everyone around me seems to be unaffected.

The floor below me hiccups, and I am violently thrown into the air, my weapon flying from my hand, and I slam to the ground, landing painfully on my shoulder.

"Roza!"

Taking the warning, I roll twice, watching as the knife plummets into mossy floor inches away from my eyes.

"Damn Earth users," I mumble, and wedge the steak knife from the ground. I take a lunging step forward, and the rooftop, once again, begins to quake under my feet. This time, determined, I manage to stay on my feet, charging at Viktor with added enthusiasm.

And damn whoever designed a rooftop garden, apparently, for I feel vines wrap around my ankles and up my legs, encasing me in a shell of leaves and roots. I am pulled onto the dirt floor, my head slamming against the ground. I grunt and struggle as I am dragged towards the edge of the roof, where the vines had climbed up the side of the mansion.

Damn Earth users.

"Rose! _Roza!_" Dimitri lunges away from his captors, running full forced towards me, but the vines snag his feet as well, and he is quickly bound.

I swallow my whimpers of fear and jerk my arms, trying desperately to free my hands, trying to free myself.

I bite into the vines, ripping them off of my hands, and slicing through the plants around my sides. By the time I get myself free, I'm already over the edge.

The kitchen knife and the severed plants tumble over the side of the roof, falling five stories into the rockey path below.

I can hear Dimitri's yells of loss, Adrian's muffled cries of panic, and the wind roaring against the side of the Queen's quarters. With shaking arms, I pull myself back up onto the roof.

"That's all? That's the only thing you've got?" I challenge, sounding much more confident that I truly feel.

"I already know, Rosemarie, that you don't give up nearly as soon as you should. You're too stubborn for your own good," Viktor announces smugly. Despite his confidence, his brow is shining with sweat, and his shoulders slumping with exhaustion. He was using a lot of magic, especially for someone with his sickness. He's fading fast. I just need to hang on.

I dig into my pockets, looking for something, anything, to use as a weapon, but I have nothing.

"Roza! Roza!"

_Dimitri! _He would still be carrying all the weapons we left the apartment with. Running towards him, I manuver around the vines that hold him, pulling his silver stake from his jacket pocket.

"Take it," he gasps. "Take them all, Roza. Be careful."

I can tell he can barely breathe, but I have no time to allow myself the distraction of removing the plants that entangle him.

I move towards Viktor, my pulse pounding in my ears. Viktor is now sitting in the plastic lawn chair, utterly exhausted, and Robert takes a step forwards. He lifts his hands, his pale palms facing me, his expression blank.

_He's lost it._

I am seconds away from plunging the stake into Viktor's chest when my vison goes blank, and I am swallowed whole.

~xXx~

_"Rose, Rose, oh God, Rose please wake up. Rose, don't leave me. Rose? Rose!"_

_My eyes flutter open, and a rush of unbelievable pain washes over me. I could feel a throbbing, horrible ache within my gut. _

_Lissa hovers over me, her angelic hair in disarray, tears streaming down her face. "Rose? Rose, please wake up. Oh God, I don't know what to do."_

_She looks so... young. God, how old is she? Eleven? Twelve? I try to speak, but my voice is hoarse and comes out no more than a croak._

_"Li...L...Liss?"_

_She collapses onto my chest, sobbing hysterically. "They won't wake up, Rose. They won't wake up. I don't know what to do. Oh God, oh God."_

_With great effort, I manage to turn my head to the side. I can see the twisted metal of the car, the motionless bodies of the Dragomir family._

_"I wish there was something I could do, Rose. Please don't leave me."_

_"He..." I cough violently. "Heal..m..me...magic...Liss..."_

_Lissa begins to cry even harder. "Magic? I wish I could, R...Rose. I don't think there's anything I can do. Air users don't have that kind of power."_

_Oh God. No._

_"A...air?"_

_Lissa nods weakly, and grips my hand. "Yeah. I'm sorry, Rose, I want to help you! I want to be able to do something. But I c...can't! Rose, I don't think I can use my magic to heal you. Rose, please, no...!"_

_The edges of my vision began to fade to black, and I am swept away from Lissa, disappearing into the darkness, the pain fading with it._

~xXx~

I gasp out, my mind returning to my body, a splitting headache coming with it. I have fallen to my knees.

Robert's hands return to his sides, and he sways for a moment, quickly regaining his balance.

It takes several moments before I can shed the feelings of panic.

_I'm alive. Lissa uses Spirit, not Earth. She saved me. I didn't die. She save me. I'm alive. _

Shakily, I rise to my feet, swallowing my fear.

"That's...That's the best you can do? A stupid vision? A Spirit-induced vision?" I challenge. "That's all you've got?"

I lunge forward again, stake in hand, before another dream sweeps me off of my feet.

~xXx~

_"I am _not _having sex," I warn him between kisses. _

_Jesse pauses, an incredibly attractive smile gracing his face. _

_"Alright," he purrs, and returns to my neck. His kisses are sloppy, and he drools a little more than I'd like, but that doesn't stop me from gasping when his teeth brush my skin._

_"Don't," I mutter breathlessly, but Jesse doesn't hesitate to scrape his teeth along my neck. "I said don't. I'm not that kind of girl."_

_"You've done this before, though. I can tell."_

_I struggle against him. "I said don't. But I can think of something else you can do with your mouth."_

_He raises a brow, and continues. Somewhere, deep in my mind, I note that Dimitri should be storming in at any minute now, dragging Jesse off the couch and throwing him from the room. _

_He doesn't._

_But I do feel Jesse's teeth against my neck once more. _

_"Jesse, for God's sake, I said-"_

_I am broken off when he sinks his fangs into my skin. The sharp pain startles me, but it is immediately replaced with a rush of endorphins. I float higher and higher, for what seems like hours._

_I whimper when he pulls away. Jesse chuckles and smirks. "Now, now. I thought you weren't that kind of girl? I guess I was right. All you dhamp girls like it."_

_He pulls at the button of my jeans, the clasp of my bra._

Stop! _I want to scream, but the drug makes my words sloppy, my movements weak. I am powerless to stop him. So I am forced to lay there, unable to stop Jesse as he struggles with his own belt, removes the rest of my clothes. I feel a horrible, numbing pain, even with the endorphins, and everything fades to black._

xXx~

"No!" I scream, coming back to myself. The headache is becoming worse and worse, and tears are coursing down my face.

I lift my tearing eyes to Viktor's smug smirk. Slowly, so slowly, I push myself off of the ground, fingering my stake again, and start towards Viktor.

"Is that," I pant. "The best you can do? Is that it?"

Using the dirty sleeve of my sweater, I wipe away my tears. "Come on, Viktor. Earth was useless. You're magic is useless. How the hell are you going to convince people to put their lives on the line when you can't even break a little dhampir girl?"

I charge towards him again.

Again and again, I am pulled into horrible nightmares, of Jesse torturing Lissa, of Dimitri, Adrian, and I dying in the train crash, of turning strigoi, each dream taking me longer and longer to recover from.

The most recent had me sprawled onto the ground, my head ringing with agony, Dimitri yelling helplessly at me, begging me to wake up, for I hadn't moved in over three minutes.

Wiping my face with the back of my hand, I realize that my nose is bleeding, and I have somehow managed to bite my tongue. Spitting out blood, I rise to my feet once more, and begin to walk towards Viktor on shaking legs.

"Just give up, Rosemarie. You're already breaking. Best to let go before you completely lose your mind."

My head is ringing, I if it weren't for Lissa, Adrian, and Dimitri, I probably would have collapsed. Every muscle was screaming at me, every step sent a pounding pain up my spine and into my skull.

I am pulled into blackness once more.

~xXx~

_"No!"_

_Isaiah takes Mason's head between his hands, twisting quickly, and I watch helplessly as the body of my friend crumples to the floor._

_"Mason! MASON!" I scream, hysteria taking over. I am about to cry, collapse onto Mason's body, allow Isaiah to kill me. I no longer want to live. _

_"Roza, no!"_

_Someone catches me around the waist, and I swivel, beating my fists against the chest of my captor._

_"No no no no no!"_

_Isaiah fades away, and we are pulled away, much like Adrian's dream-walking._

_"Rose! Roza, look at me. It's just a dream. Roza, I'm here, look, it's just a dream. Hold on, Rose."_

_It takes several minutes for me to calm, even with my face buried into Dimitri's chest and him stroking my hair._

_"Wha... What are you doing here? Is this part of the nightmare? Oh no, Dimitri, what's going to happen to you? Oh God, oh God oh God..."_

_"Shh, Roza."_

_He grabs my face in his hands. "Roza, look at me. This isn't part of the dream! Adrian put me here."_

_Looking around, I see we are at the cabin. _Our _cabin._

_I sniffle. "He can dream-walk with people other than himself?"_

_Dimitri just smiles. "He hasn't had a drink in a very long time, Roza. Anything is possible."_

_"Dimitri, I don't think I can do this anymore. I'm breaking, and Viktor knows it," I sob._

_He wraps his arms around me, and rests his chin on the top of my head, swaying me gently. "Yes you can, Roza, I know you can. You're so strong, you can do this. You're the only person I know who can."_

_I shake my head and throw my arms around his waist. "Help me."_

_"I wish I could. I'm here, Rose. I know it's hard, but you have to do this. Do it for Lissa, for Adrian. God, Rose, do this for me. You're strong, Rose. It's one of the reasons I love you."_

_I burrow farther into his embrace, and he sighs. "I'll always be here for you, Rose, no matter how distant I am, no matter what I say. I will always look out for you."_

_"How touching," hisses a voice from behind us. "But aren't you a little _old _for the drama of a teenage girl, Belikov?"_

_Viktor takes a threatening step forward, and grabs my wrist. "Time to come back to the real world, Rosemarie."_

_But before he can drag me back, Dimitri pulls me back into his chest and whispers in my ear. "Hold the tip between your thumb and forefinger. Use your elbow to point to your target. You can do it."_

_And with that cryptic message, I'm gone._

~xXx~

By the time I come-to, I am dizzy with pain, Viktor is grinning, and Robert looks near ready to pass out.

"Welcome back, Rosemarie. Still going strong, I see?"

Ignoring my screaming muscles, I throw myself off of the ground, and begin to stumble towards Viktor.

He sighs, as if I'm no more than a pest to him.

"Roza, your stake!"

Turning back, I see Dimitri, still bound tightly in a case of vines.

"Use your stake, Rose."

Adrian, whether it's lack of blood or simply exhaustion, is lying against Dimitri, head on his shoulder, eyes closed, his mouth gagged and wrists still tied.

Shaking uncontrollably, I scan the ground, and manage to find my discarded stake on the ground. I pick it up and grip it tightly, the very weight of it dragging my hand downwards.

_Hold the tip between your thumb and forefinger._

Slowly, I slide my hand from the hilt to the tip. It's an awkward position, and hard to get a solid grip. Fortunately, the damn thing is balanced pretty well.

_Use your elbow to point to your target._

I lift my arm, bringing my hand behind my head. The world begins to spin, I'm dizzy, exhausted, most likely dying.

With great force, I point my elbow in Viktor's direction. I can do this. I have to do this.

Suddenly, my knees give way, and I sink onto the floor.

Viktor smirks and lets out a taunting, bellowing laugh. His dhampir guards laugh shakily along with him, looking unsure and a little nervous.

I can feel my heart thumping wildly in my chest, and I can feel that I am swaying gently, unable to steady myself. The corners of my vision are turning black, and I know I only have minutes, maybe seconds left.

With a shaking hand, I bring back my hand and throw the stake as hard as my weakened state will allow.

Another wave of dizziness sweeps over me, and I collapse onto the ground. Colours swirl above me.

Time seems to slow, images running together like paint smearing over a canvas.

Somewhere, I can hear Robert's piercing scream, and I can feel my body flood with a burning pain. Dimitri's face floats above me.

_Hold on, Roza. Please hold on._

I tried to squeeze his hand, tried to say something, but I am a prisoner in my own body, trapped.

"D...Di..."

A cold finger is pressed gently to my lips, and I am silenced. Somewhere, distantly, I can tell that my body is being transported, to where, I'm not sure. I see a flurry of different faces, some that I recognize, many I don't. They all carry the burden of exhaustion.

Lissa appears above me, hovering, assessing. Tears stream down her face, but her expression doesn't falter. Determination burns brightly in her eyes.

Her small hands touch my chest, and she closes her eyes.

A crippling, searing pain washes through my head, and I am clutching, screaming, begging.

Oh God.

Pain.

The worst pain imaginable.

I reach, grope blindly.

Oh God.

_Make it stop._

It intensifies.

The faces above me are gone, only replaced by darkness, by stars.

Then nothing.

Nothing at all.

* * *

**Ahhh! I know, I know! I hate it when chapters end when Rose passes out, but this is kind of essential, and actually fit with the upcoming chapter. Believe me, if there was a better option, I would have chosen it. I can just _feel _the flaming reviews coming... Well, I know you guys are getting tired of waiting for these chapters, so this was kind of a make-up, if you will. My incredibly busy schedule is almost coming to a close, so, if I am going to start a new story, it will be updated _much _sooner, I won't leave you hanging for so long, which no one appreciates.**

**Would anyone be interested if I wrote a new story? I'd love to hear some responses! I have one really strong idea I think I'd like to try. I'd be returning to Dimitri's perspective, and it would be a really, _really _angst-y fic. I haven't really developed a plot yet, but it's coming. Any comments?**


	38. Hospital Beds

I'm uncomfortably warm, and can hear a steady, and annoying beep next to my ears.

My eyes crack open, and I am blinded my the searing light. I snap my eyes shut, and slowly part my eyelids once more. A shadowy figure crosses my vision.

"A...Abe?"

I hear a soft sigh, and the touch of cool fingertips against my warm forehead.

"Oh, thank God, Rose. How do you feel, sweetheart?"

I groan, and try to sit up, but instantly feel his hands on my shoulders, forcing me to lay down on the bed. He's dressed... unlike I've ever seen him. A simple white button-up, with the sleeves rolled to the elbows, and jeans. Without the gold pirate earring, I would barely recognize him. For an old man, he still looks like he could win a bar fight, or do hundreds consecutive push-ups. I wonder if he'd let me spar with him some day.

"No, Rose, you need to lay down. I'm calling the doctor."

He reaches across the bed and presses the bright red button on the wall. The buzz sends a sharp pain through my head, and I groan, reaching up to grab onto his forearms, pulling his hands away from the call button.

"Rose? Are you alright? Does your head hurt?"

I nod, wincing. "Yes. Why am I so warm? Do I have a fever? Oh God, how long have I been out?"

Without hesitation, he replies, "Fifteen days."

My gut tightens. "Fifteen days?

He nods, and sits gently on the side of my bed. "We were really worried about you, honey."

I felt tears build up in my eyes, and I throw myself into his arms.

Now, on normal circumstances, I would be horrified to ever let mobster-Abe see me cry, but my emotions were overwhelming, and the memores of what had happened were too much to bear on my own.

He wraps his arms around me, and lets me burrow into his shoulder, no doubt staining his obscenely expense white shirt with my tears. Rocking me back and forth, he waits until my sobs subside before brushing his calloused thumbs across my cheeks and giving me a fatherly kiss to the forehead.

"It's alright, Rosemarie. Everything's going to be alright."

"Wh...Wh...Where is everybody. Wh..at happ...happened to everyone?" I ask between sobs. He is gripping my by the elbows, attempting to keep me upright.

"Rose," he murmurs. "We'll talk about this later."

My heart sinks, and I try to supress the tears that threaten to spill over once more. I know it's something bad.

The door creaks open, and, the worst of possible moments, my mother walks in. What a sight it must have been. I was still leaning heavily on Abe, his arms around me, a large wet spot on the shoulder of his shirt.

"Abe, you said you'd call the second she opened her eyes!" my mother seethed. Like Abe, she looks like she hasn't slept in weeks.

Abe furrowed his brow. "She _just _woke up, Janine. Did you want me to ignore her until I could get on the phone with you?"

"I was worried sick! You should have called me when she woke up!" She growled threatingly. Abe rolled his eyes.

"She's my daughter, too, Janine, you weren't the only one worried sick. You weren't the only one who thought you were going to lose her! I'm not going to apologize for thinking of nothing but her when she's concious for the first time in over two weeks!"

"Don't you _dare _turn this around on me-"

"You were on your way here _anyways! _What difference would a phone call have made! You wouldn't have gotten here any sooner!"

"It doesn't matter!"

"Janine, you're acting like a child! What is-"

"Enough!" I cry. My parents immediately cease their fighting, turning to face me.

The yell has caused my head to throb, and I sink back into the pillow, rubbing my temples.

"Rose? Rosemarie?"

"Where's the damned nurse?"

Just as the words leave Abe's mouth, the nurse appears in the doorway, sending him a glare before coming to my bedside.

She assesses me before announcing that she will increase my pain medications.

"No!" I cry. "I don't want to sleep any more! I haven't been awake for over two weeks. I can handle the headaches, just tell me what happened? Where's Lissa? Where's Adrian?" Tears gather in my eyes once more, to my embarrassment. "Where's Dimitri?"

My mother sighs loudly. "You're in no condition-"

"I don't care!" I cry. "Tell me what happened to them! What happened to Viktor? What happened to Robert? Would someone tell me what the hell happened?" I break down into sobs. God, what is wrong with me? I've cried more in the last ten minutes than I have my entire life.

Abe gathers me up once more, holding me close, trying to sooth me. "Darling, we need to talk about this later. Okay? You'll get answers I promise. Everyone's here, they're all... alive, okay? Is that enough? For now?"

Enough to relax me? I suppose. I choke down my tears of panic and nod. "For now."

Abe smiles gently, and brushes the hair from my forehead. Janine seems stunned by our interaction. How quickly we've gone to Father-Daughter, instead of despising each other.

"Can I..." I swallow, almost afraid to ask. "Can I see Lissa?"

Abe tells me he'll try his best, and pulls out his phone.

"See how easy it is to use your phone?" Janine retorted, and we both turn to glare at her before Abe storms out of the room, his phone in hand.

My head begins to pound again, and I break out into another sweat. "Leave him alone, he's just trying to help," I grunt.

Janine sighs and sits at my bedside. "I know he is. Something about him has always rubbed me the wrong way."

"Well, he obviously rubbed something the right way, because here I am..."

"Watch your mouth," she replies, and takes my hand. "How are you feeling?"

My fevor seems to climb higher, my temples are throbbing, my body is sore and stiff. "Not so good."

Her eyes fill with tears, and before she can open her mouth, Abe reenters, followed by Lissa, and a overwhelming number of Guardians.

"Rose!" she squeaks, and throws herself into my arms. "Oh my God, Rose, what you did for me... I'm so sorry, Rose, and so thankful..."

Tears are streaming down her flawless skin, as she cries into my shoulder.

"Oh! Rose, you're burning up."

I nod. "Yeah, I've been feeling like hell since I woke up..."

Without a word, she places her small hands on my temples, and closes her eyes.

My fever spikes, and the pounding in my head increases drastically. And, despite my attempts, blackness once again takes me over, the pain in my body exploding.

I should've taken the pain meds.

* * *

**Dear Readers:**

**I'm a sucky author.**

**How long has it been since I updated? Far too long, I know that much. I am SO sorry, for the millionth time.**

**I've had such a hard time getting this stupid chapter right, with at least three different versions of it. I've been trying to get it jsut right, believe me. **

**Well, it's a little shorter than my last few, but the end is drawing near! Don't know if that's good or bad...**


	39. Getting Answers

***sighs***

**ELFINA01, you are the reason this chapter was written. It would have taken me much longer to get it out without your inspirational comment.**

**And a congratulations to MadameRozaBelikova, who picks up on my plotlines before the chapter is even posted. There's no getting around her!**

**I've received a few... negative reviews and would just like to clear some things up.**

**Believe me, I know that the dedication to developing my plot has not been there. I'm struggling just to update with my crazy schedule, and, to be frank, I'm trying to get this story finished. But it was either I updated when I could with choppy chapters, or I completely abandoned it altogether, and left it unfinished. I decided with the first option.**

**I'm sorry if I've disappointed anyone with my story. With holidays coming up soon, I'll have more time if I decide to write another story for VA. Sorry for my little rant. I appreciate every comment, even the negative ones, although I'm sorry this story didn't live up to you expectations.**

**-PRG**

* * *

My body seems to burn from the inside out, but my head seems to hold a chill, despite the fact I could feel perspiration dripping from my skin.

It's lasted for days, eating away at my strength, keeping me bed-ridden and incredibly ill. I had been kept isolated, with doctors and nurses hovering over me every second of the day. I had been poked and prodded, tested dozens of times, though I'm sure no one knew what they were looking for.

Weeks later, the source had disappeared, but the symptoms hadn't. My fever had diminished, but the weakness I felt had yet to heal. I was constantly tired and achy, and headaches would occur occasionally.

It was a full week before my family was allowed to enter. On rare occasions, Lissa came with my mother and father, but I'm sure she had to use compulsion, as no one else was allowed in.

Unfortunately, whenever Lissa would visit, I would get terrible headaches, and my fever would spike. She'd watch, with tears in her eyes, from the corner of the room, never getting too close. Eventually, she just stopped visiting.

The day they released me from the infirmary, I spent hours being followed around by my father, his arms around my shoulders as I wobbled around on shaking legs.

And now, days later, I still hadn't fully healed. My parents refused to tell me what happened, saying they needed to give me _time. _I was desperate for answers, but had yet to receive any.

Now, normally, I would be hunting down anything I could find, seeking out my absent friends and getting answers. But now, I had lost my passion, my inability to stay still. I was burnt out, physically and emotionally, and spent most of my days sleeping.

Days blurred together, and I seemed to be halfway between a vampire schedule and a human schedule.

Waking up sometime near dawn in the human day and late evening in the vampire world, I crawled out of bed. Too restless to stay in, I left the confines of my room to wander the grounds of the Court.

Nowadays, I pretty much avoid people altogether, but it was only until I passed by the bustling bar that I decided that a bit of alcohol could hardly hurt me know.

I sat down at the bar, in one of the furthest corners, just watching. I've obviously lost my touch as a guardian, because when I felt a hand on my back, I nearly jumped out of my seat.

"Shh," a voice soothed behind me, his hand resting on my lower back. A pair of lips press against my temple, and Christian takes a seat beside me.

"Christian? What are you doing here?" I ask. "I would have expected Adrian to be here, of all people..."

He just smiled. "Adrian would not be in the darkest corner of the bar. Much more suited to someone like me."

I gave a weak smile and patted the bar stool beside me. "Take a seat, Fireboy."

He flopped down beside me and turned to the bar tender. "Two shots of whiskey," he orders, than turns to me. "My treat."

I almost choke my drink back up, (how long has it been since I've had alcohol?) but force myself to swallow. Christian effortlessly downs his own shot.

"I'm surprised to see you here," he mentions. "You've been in your room for days."

Desperate the change the subject, I simply say, "Have you been watching me, Mr. Ozera?"

Christian smirks, but it quickly fades as he orders another drink. "I'm worried about you. Just because I hate you, doesn't mean I don't love you."

I laugh, the first time in a long time, and wrap my arms around him. "Ah, Christian, what would I do without you?"

He smirks, a smile that's practically trademarked, and shrugged. "I'm not the only one who's worried, Rose. You're scaring a lot of people."

I snort, and steal a sip of his drink. Russian Vodka. "Who? Lissa's been avoiding me like the plague, Adrian's too drunk to tell the time of day, and my parents are checking on me everyday."

"Lissa's convinced she's making you sick, Adrian's hurting, and your parents are your parents, of course they're worried."

I give him a sidelong glance. "Why is Lissa convinced she's making me sick? She isn't doing a thing!"

"Evertime she's around you, apparently all of your symptoms return. She's avoiding you, afraid she's just making things worse. Not that's it's been hard to avoid you, with you locked in your room 24/7."

I take this as a bit of an insult, and down the rest of his drink. "Hey, be careful with that," he warns. "That stuff is a lot stronger than regular vodka."

It's my turn to smirk.

"I think I can handle it."

A comfortable silence follows, and I take the opportunity to rest my head on Christian's bony shoulder.

"Christian?"

"Mmm?"

I sigh, and shift against him. "What happened to everyone? All my parents said was that everyone was _alive. _What does that even mean?"

"Well, Lissa's alright. Dimitri shoved her and me into the top shelf of my closet to hide us from Viktor's guards. We were cramped, but we survived. Lissa suffered some pretty serious trauma after seeing you like that, though. She's still pretty shaken up about it."

Christian runs a hand through his dark hair. "Adrian has been drinking ever since he's been concious, I don't know what he saw, but he's dealing with some pretty powerful stuff. Your mom was wild when she found out about what happened to you, and it got even worse when she figured out Abe was already there, calling the shots."

At least this made me smile.

"Well, that's not so bad, besides Adrian, I mean."

He nods. "Yeah, well, that's not the worst part."

My gut sunk. Oh God, I knew this was coming. Dimitri. "A...and?"

He sighs. "Rose..." clearing his throat, he shifts nervously in his chair. "Rose, if you want answers, I think you might want to go find _him_."

Typical response. "Is _he _still in the hospital?"

After a hesitation, Christian shakes his head.

"Is he... brain dead or something? Is he in a coma?"

A tear spills down my cheek, and I clutch at his arm. "Christian, what _happened _that night?"

Christian sighed and wrapped his arms around me. "Viktor's dead, Rose, you killed him with that stake. It went right into his chest. Robert lost it after his death, and sent out some pretty heavy magic, first trying to save him, and then just out of grief."

"Magic?" I ask. "Spirit? What happened to him?" Robert hadn't exactly been stable in the first place.

"He used a _lot _of magic, Rose. He's in the psych ward. I don't think he even knows his own name anymore."

This brings tears to my eyes. Although Viktor's death should have come as a relief, I felt a horrible weight. I had killed a living person. Not a strigoi, not a soulless beast, a person. He might have been evil, but he wasn't a total monster. And Robert, losing his only brother, his only friend.

I felt guilty.

"I have to go, Christian," I say, hoping to escape the heavy topic. I needed to be alone. I hopped off of the bar stool, giving him a kiss on the cheek. "Thank you."

~xXx~

I spent the next few hours walking around the Court grounds, too restless to even think about returning to my room.

How had I gotten here? Two years ago, I was seventeen, I still had a future, a plan. My biggest worries were Dimitri's affections and highschool gossip. Everything had fallen apart.

Ever since Viktor had wormed his way back into my life, everything had seemed to just crumble.

Even now, I still didn't have all my answers about Viktor - everything had happened so fast - but I didn't have the drive to find out. For now, I was content being in the dark.

The sun was already beating down, and it was late in the vampire schedule.

I missed my old life. I missed the ability to just get up, not worry about safety, about the safety of my loved ones. I missed being able to train, to fight, to spar. How long had it been since I'd been to the gym? I'd lost most of my muscle in my months in jail, but my stress level sure hadn't decreased.

I immediately switched my direction, and began to head for the training centre. I needed to work out, it had been way too long, and I had to have some way to deal with my suffocating stress.

Christian was right- locking myself in my room was not the answer.

It was dark, but they always left the doors open for any Guardians who worked different shifts, although it was almost always empty this late.

I stripped off my sweatshirt by the entrance, glad that I had chosen to wear my sweatpants instead of jeans, and walked into the gym.

To my surprise, the gymnasium was already occupied, which it almost never was. To my discomfort, that occupant was Dimitri.

He didn't hear me come in, and didn't stop his work out. I had truly forgotten what a god he really was.

But he was working himself way too hard. One of his first lessons as my mentor had been to pace myself, that over-exerting myself could be dangerous to my health. But Dimitri was throwing himself into his exercise, not holding back.

He was hitting the punching bag with such fever that it bounced and swayed on it's chain, the hook on the ceiling making a dangerous creaking sound. Sweat his poured down his back, and his knuckles are red and swollen.

With one final punch, the bag rocks right off of the hook, and crashes to the ground several feet from Dimitri. Silence follows, and his shoulders begin to shake. He sinks to the ground, pulling his knees to his chest, and burying his face in his arms, while his body continues to tremble.

My sneakers echo against the polished wood as I make my way over to him. I'm sure he can hear me, but he doesn't acknowledge me. When I am only a few steps away, his voice croaks out.

"Why are you here?"

I am taken back by this question, but quickly recover. "I... The same as you, I guess. To work out. I didn't know you were here."

He lifts his pale face to meet mine. "You can leave, you know. You don't have to try and have a conversation with me, I know you've been avoiding all of us."

"Do you want me to leave?" I ask, legs shaking.

Slowly, so slowly, he shakes his head, and I take this opportunity to kneel beside him, and put a hand on his shoulder.

"Dimitri, what's going on? Why are you really here?"

"It's just gotten so much worse, Rose, ever since Viktor's attack. Everything has just..."

I sigh. "Fallen apart?"

He nods. "I just can't handle it anymore. _I'm _falling apart, Rose."

"You look like you're about to pass out, Dimitri. I'm taking you back to your room."

The old Dimitri would have protested, he would never have shown weakness. But now, he just accepted my hand and pulled himself off of the ground, leading me towards his room.

I urge him towards the shower, and set off to the tiny kitchenette, searching through the barren cupboards until I came across a package of instant noodles and saltine crackers.

I set out the unfit dinner just as Dimitri stepped into the room, his hair loose and slicked back with water. The sight of the sad meal him smile, and he helped me move the bowls out to the "living room", which was more like an old sofa and worn coffee table.

We ate in silence, only making comments of disgust upon the discover that the crackers were, in fact, stale, and when Dimitri apologized for the lack of food and hospitality he had to offer.

"Don't worry about it. How long has it been since you've had a decent meal?" I ask.

He licks his lips and sets down his empty bowl. "Haven't head a decent meal since I left Russia. How long has it been since you've had a decent night's sleep?"

"I could ask you the same thing."

Although the situation holds no humour, Dimitri gives a weighted smile. "I don't seem to sleep at all, anymore."

"Dimitri?" I ask. "What happened to you? What happened that night? I know about Viktor and Robert, but... how did we get here?"

To my complete and utter shock, Dimitri wrapped his arms around me and pulled me to his chest, leaning back into the armrest so that I was resting against him. This new change of position made me realize that Dimitri was hurting, too. That no matter how awkward things were between us, he was still in desperate need of comfort. I reach for his hand.

"My memory is... a little fuzzy, Roza. Robert went mad when Viktor died, and..."

"He _gave off _magic. But was he trying to heal Viktor?"

Dimitri let out a breath, one that ruffled my hair. "I don't think so. Rose, from what I remember, he was trying... he was trying to hurt you."

"By healing me?"

This wasn't helping me at all, and now I had more questions than I did before.

"Not healing. Rose, Robert had used Spirit to torture you, to make you have visions, hallucinations. I think he was trying to... overrun you with magic. Like what happened to Avery."

Now my brain was hurting. Avery had been 'fried' by Spirit while attacking Lissa. She had bonds to multiple people, and the magic had backfired on her.

"So, he wanted to overload me with magic?" I asked.

I could tell Dimitri was getting just as frustrated. "I don't know, Roza! Adrian and I were just pooling together what we knew, trying to come up with a reasonable answer for why this happened."

He began to tremble again, and I squeezed his hand tighter. "Dimitri, what happened to you?"

His arms tightened around me. "I was... hit with the Spirit, too, Rose. I think we all were. I don't know how much magic Robert released, but I felt it, Rose, and so did Adrian. I think all of Viktor's dhampir's did as well."

"Felt it? What do you mean, felt it?"

Poor Dimitri, I could tell I was causing him a lot of stress.

"I felt... I just..." he groaned. "I don't know. I almost had... visions as well, I suppose. Dreams. It was as though I was reliving all of the worst moments of my life. Every pain I've ever felt."

The room goes deathly silent.

"And Adrian?" I whisper.

"We haven't discussed it, but based off of the way he's drinking - more than ususal - I think it's safe to say he felt something similar."

Pain. Robert had inflicted pain using Spirit.

"So he _was_ trying to hurt me, trying to get revenge for Viktor's death."

Dimitri sighed. "Maybe. Perhaps his grief over his brother's death just spilled over. It might not have been intentional."

So _that _was why I was in so much pain when Liss tried to heal me - I was already overloaded with magic. It wasn't an illness, I was feeling the effects of Spirit, and the healing just sent me over the edge. And that was why I was sick everytime Lissa came into the room. Only family was allowed, and the compulsion she used must have made me ill.

I nod, and lean back further into his chest. "His brother's death... I killed Viktor. I ended a life."

"Roza, it was self defense. If you didn't kill him, he would have killed you. I know it's hard to comes to terms with, but you need to forgive yourself."

"Forgive _myself?" _I say angrily, suddenly taken by a emotional flare. "You're telling me to forgive myself when you've been brooding over your own emotional problems for the past year and a half?" I cry. "You're the most hypocritical man-"

I try to leap out of his arms, but Dimitri's grip tightens, and he pulls me back down.

"Roza, don't yell. Don't hold on to your anger, Rose, let it go. Let go, Rose." I recognized his voice, the one he used to sooth me when I had been provoked by the effects of Lissa's magic. I immediately relax.

"I'm so sorry, Dimitri, I don't know what came over me, I-"

"It's the magic, Roza. It's just the magic. I get them sometimes, too."

This shocks me. "_You _get the darkness, too, Dimitri? When Lissa brought you back, did you two...?"

"Form a bond?" he finishes for me. "No, we didn't. But ever since Viktor's attack, I can get mood swings, sometimes they're worse than others. One of the worst I've had in a while was tonight. That's why I was in the gym. But they seem to be tapering off as time goes by."

"You're..." I shudder. "You're feeling the darkness, too?"

He nods.

"What happened after Robert went crazy? How did we get _here, _Dimitri."

He runs his fingers through his hair, exhaling loudly in frustration.

"That's where my memory blurs. I had hallucinations, for a long time. I only remember seeing Robert collapse, and everyone was swaying on their feet, like they were about to pass out as well. Maybe it was just my vison, though..."

He shakes his head.

"I was completely out of it by the time the Guardians burst onto the roof, although I'm sure none us were a threat, almost everyone was nearly unconcious."

My brain seemed to be working overtime, absorbing information.

"But... Well... Why were my parents trying to keep this all from me? This isn't so bad."

I feel Dimitri's finger stroke through my hair. "When Lissa tried to heal you, and you... blacked out... Your parents made everyone swear that we wouldn't tell you anything about what happened that night. They were really worried for your mental health, Rose. You were screaming and clutching your head. They thought one little thing could set you off..."

"Why is it always my mental health?" I ask. "Do I always have to completely lose my sanity?"

I melt down further into the sofa. "I still don't get it! That's not even that bad! Why were they trying to shield me from this?"

The pad of his thumn runs soothingly down my arm. "Roza... Sweetheart, please promise me you'll stay calm after I tell you this... You need to stay calm, stress isn't good for you."

"Dimitri... Dimitri tell me what happened. It's what everyone has been hiding from me, isn't it?"

He turns me around, pinning me to the couch, as if he's afraid I'll lash out and go completely nuts. "Roza... We think... Well, _Lissa _thinks..." He swallows. "Lissa thinks that the bond might be... gone."

It takes several seconds before the information sinks in. "_What? _The bond is broken? _And you thought it would be best to hide this from me?" _I scream.

"Roza, please calm down..."

"Calm down? _Calm down?_" I struggle against him. Maybe he was right to restrain me after all. "The bond is broken and you want me to calm down? What the hell is wrong with you people?"

I slam my eyes shut, trying desperately to slip into Lissa's head.

"NO! Roza, open your eyes! You can't go into Lissa's head, okay? I don't want you to get hurt! You can't handle any more Spirit!"

I hear hands on my arms, my shoulders, trying to shake me into response, although I try to ignore him.

Suddenly, I feel his lips on my own, coaxing me to respond. I instinctively wrap my arms around his neck, and deepen the kiss, pulling him down further on top of me.

Despite my body's protest, I break away and push him off of me, shoving him to the other side of the sofa.

"Have you completely lost it? What the hell is wrong with you?"

Dimitri looks bewildred, but quickly recovers. "I was trying to stop you from causing yourself harm. It worked, didn't it?"

"You have _NO _right-"

"No right? I'm trying to protect you!"

I give a humourless laugh and jab his chest with my finger. "Protect me? All you do is hurt me! How are you protecting me?"

Dimitri's eyes narrow, and he grabs my finger, jerking it towards him, and twisting it between our bodies. "_I _hurt _you? _How do you figure?"

"You just shut me out, Dimitri! You're pushing me away and acting like we're strangers, then you're suddenly on top of me and groping me like nothing's wrong!"

We now caught in a screaming match, our eyes locked, although Dimitri's a full foot taller than me - I refuse to be intimidated.

"With good reason!" Dimitri roars back. "How am I ever supposed to _trust _you again?"

I scoff. "Trust me?"

"You just ran off, Roza, without telling anyone where you were going! You _disappeared! _Abandoned your friends and family! Lissa needed you, Rose, _I _needed you!"

I jerk my arm away from his grip and and shove Dimitri's chest, although he doesn't even sway.

"You sure had an odd way of showing it. But you're right! How _stupid _of me not to see that you being a complete jackass was your way of telling me you loved me! Your a damn liar!"

I throw my entire weight against my next shove, and Dimitri staggers backwards.

"I was in _pain, _Rose! I killed innocent people, I drank from you like you were a damn feeder! I made myself a promise, at the Academy, that I would do anything to make sure that you didn't end up like _those girls. _That you would never be treated like the way Jesse treated you again. And _I _was the one who treated you like that! I would have fed from you and raped you without a thought!

"I couldn't even look at you without wanting to kill myself for what I'd done! So I'm _sorry_ if I didn't heal fast enough from that experience to suit your purposes!" He cries, catching my palms to keep me from hitting him again.

"I never asked for you to heal instantaneously! I was angry that you chose to dismiss everything I did for you! I was angry that you didn't even acknowledge me, that you didn't even bother to tell me any of this!"

"What did you want me to do?" He yelled. "Fall to my knees and worship the ground that you walked on? Did you want me to just disregard my own pain even though I was completely losing my mind with grief?"

"I _dropped _out of school to kill you! I thought I lost you forever! And then you were there! I thought maybe, for once, something good was going to happen, that maybe my life wouldn't completely fall apart. All I wanted to do was tell you how much I loved you, and I had a Guardian tell me that I wasn't allowed to. I had a _Guardian _tell me that the love of my life was no longer interested in me! I gave everything I had to you, and you rejected me." I scream, tears springing to my eyes, much to my embarrassment.

"I was told by Adrian Ivashkov that you had disappeared, and that I was the only one who didn't get a goodbye," he says, his voice suddenly a whisper. I remember the notes I left everyone before I disappeared. I had poured my heart and soul out to my family, my friends. Even Christian. But I hadn't left one for Dimitri.

We both become deathly silent, the whirl of the ceiling fan overhead the only thing that can be heard, besides our heavy breathing.

"What was I supposed to say?" I say softly.

He shuts his eyes and purses his lips, as if trying to keep from saying something he'll regret.

"I needed you," he murmurs. "I needed you, Rose, and then you left. I know it was my fault, but when I realized how much I truly did need you, how much I depended on you, you had disappeared. And I can't let you in without feeling like you're going to leave again. I thought if I kept you at a distance, then it wouldn't hurt if you left again."

He takes a cautious step towards me. After realizing I'm not going to attack him again, he lifts his hand, and slowly cups my jaw. "I was wrong. When you were in the infirmary, I thought you were going to die, and all I could think of was what I should have said to you, what I should have told you."

Slowly, so slowly, he bends, but holds back. I have a feeling he's afraid that if he kisses me, I'll yell at him again. I take the lead, standing up on the balls of my feet, then on the tips of my sneakers, until his lips brush softly with my own. I slip my hands around his neck, and let his palms drift to my hips. He gently tugs me forwards, never breaking the kiss, until his knees hit the bed, and he pulls me down on top of him.

"Don't leave. Don't leave again, Rose. Please."

I nod, a silent promise, and lean down again to kiss him.

Nothing happened that night - we didn't have sex, at least - but we did kiss, talk, touch, until the sun set.

I curled up against Dimitri, resting my head against his shoulder.

"I still need a lot of things explained about all of this, Dimitri. And we still need to talk about us."

He presses his lips against my forehead.

"Tomorrow, Roza."

* * *

**Whew. Well, I had a few free hours today, so I thought I'd take advantage of it. **

**No, this story is not yet complete. Yes, I still have a lot of explaining to do. And yes, I am still working on a conclusion to this. The story isn't done, and it definitely won't just drop off :)**

**Thanks for reading!**


	40. To Reach A Decision

**Wow, you guys.**

**Wow.**

**I cannot believe all of your support! I'll always appreciate your constructive criticism, but I have to admit, I do love your positive feedback.**

**I know I owe you guys a much better story - and it just wasn't able to happen this time. If I decide to write a new story this summer, I will try my best to make this a good one!**

**Forever appreciative,**

**-PRG**

* * *

He looked absolutely angelic when he slept, don't get me wrong. His eyes were closed gently, his lips parted slightly. The dark circles that weighed down his eyes had disappeared overnight, and the crease in his brows had smoothed.

Yes, he looked so peaceful deep in slumber, but it took everything I could not to reach down and shake the man awake.

I had been lying here for hours, and I was bored out of my mind. It seems Dimitri was finally having good night's sleep. Unfortunately, I had nothing to occupy my time while I waited for him to wake. I could hardly just leave - Dimitri had just confessed to me the night before that he was afraid that I was going to leave him again. How would it look if he woke up to an empty bed?

But as another hour passed, just as I was starting to go absolutely crazy, his eyes opened.

Eyelids heavy with slumber, it took him several seconds to really see me.

He smiled.

"You stayed," he murmured softly, slowly sitting up.

"I promised I wouldn't leave." I kiss his cheek. "Morning."

"Good morning." Dimitri reaches to his bedside, his eyes widening when he sees the time.

"Yeah," I tease. "You sleep like a baby."

He presses his lips lazily against my temple and pushes himself off of the mattress. "Not true. Babies wake up every other hour in the night, screaming. The first month after Paul was born was Hell. How long have you been up?"

"A few hours."

"And you didn't wake me?" He shakes his head. "You must have been going mad with boredom."

I smile, and stand up on the bed, cupping his jaw in my palms. "How are you feeling?" I whisper. His lips touch mine, so briefly.

"Quite a bit better, actually. But we still need-"

"To talk," I finish. "I know, but lets not ruin this morning, okay? Besides, I need to find Liss, too. Do you mind if we meet up, later?"

Frowning, he nods, and wraps his arms around me once more before setting a time to meet at the cafe.

* * *

Turns out, Lissa was in the tiny cafe on the outskirts of the Court, where I was set to meet Dimitri only hours later.

She sat alone, beside the large window, staring out into the distance.

I carefully sat down beside her. "Lissa?"

She turns to me, tears in her eyes. "Aren't you getting sick just being near me?"

I grab her hands, holding her cold and clammy fingers. "Lissa, it wasn't you. It was the magic. The compulsion you used to get into my room to visit me. I was already so overloaded with magic... Any more just made me sick."

She lets go of my hands to wipe away the tears that streak her pale cheeks. "But that doesn't make any sense! The bond, Rose. Everyone thinks that the bond has been broken! But it doesn't make any sense! How did you absorb the magic from me if the bond is broken?"

"I don't know, Liss, maybe the bond wasn't broken. Maybe it's just weak. Maybe I can't access it yet, I'm still really weak from what happened."

"But they said-"

Frustration takes over. "Who said, Lissa? Who could possibly know more about our bond than us? Neither of us felt it break, and I can still absorb Spirit from you. I don't believe the bond is broken, Lissa. It can't be."

She nods, brushing away more tears, and tries to smile. "How are you feeling?"

"Tired. Sore," I sigh. "Lissa, how have you been?"

Again, she gives a small smile. "I'm not the one who was tortured."

Despite the tense subject matter, I try to lighten the mood.

"Hey, I've had worse," I lie. "But I'm curious, how much do you know about what happened that night? I'm trying to piece as much information as I can together."

"Like what?" she asks, her eyes drifting to her glass of water.

"Like, what the hell was Viktor even doing there that night? Why was he trying to kill me? What was he trying to accomplish?"

Her hands clamp around the water glass, spinning it, her eyes completely focused - she was trying to avoid my gaze.

"I...I went to talk to Robert."

My heart stops. "And...?"

"He doesn't even know where he is, who he is. The magic has completely fried him."

"So it's a lost cause?"

Still avoiding eye contact, she shakes her head. "Well... he's... he's rambling. He just rambles on and on, some things are entirely random, and don't seem to even be complete thoughts. But sometimes..." she shakes her head again. "Sometimes you can actually understand him. I don't know everything, but I've kind of guessed what was going on with whatever information I got."

I lean forwards in my seat. "Lissa," I beg desperately. "Please, please I have to know. What happened? Why was Viktor trying to kill me?"

Tears spring into her eyes once more, and finally, finally, she turns her jade eyes towards me.

"He was trying to seperate us, Rose. He was doing everything he possibly could to keep us apart. You leaving was the perfect opportunity to get rid of you without having to kill you. Your death would have caused too much suspicion, I presume."

How odd it is, to talk so casually of the plotting of my death.

"So he was trying to keep me away from you?" I suppose this made sense. Spending too much time away from Lissa while blocking the bond had caused me to suffer memory lapses, ones that, without Dimitri and Adrian there, might have kept me away from my friends and family forever. Viktor seemed to have an extensive knowledge of Spirit, and I guessed he might have known this.

"Wait," I pause. "Then why did Viktor have his followers attack the train? Why did he want to kill me, then? That seems like an awful lot of effort just to end one person's life."

I could tell Lissa was scared, even without the aid of the bond. "I guess it was a good way to get rid of you, Adrian, and Dimitri, without making it look like you were specifically targeted. I suppose the last thing they needed at that point was to be watched by the police."

Oh God, my head was ringing. "Wait... Me, Adrian, and Dimitri? What do Adrian and Dimitri have to do with this."

Lissa's whole body began to quake. "You... all three of you... you would protect me."

I swallow the lump in my throat, tears stinging my own eyes. "This wasn't even about me, was it? I was just an obstacle, a barricade between Viktor and you."

She nods. "And by torturing you, I think he was hoping to make you give up my location, and at the same time, break you so you wouldn't be in the way."

"But... why did he want you? Why was he trying to get to you? Because of your powers?"

She sighed. "Yes. I think it might have been my influence, too. The Royals might be more apt to listen to his demands when he threatened the last Dragomir."

God, this was sick.

"So he was still trying to start an army?"

"He wanted power," she said simply. "He claimed he wanted to free the dhampirs, but he wanted to be in control."

"But I thought he said I could _help _his army..."

"I guess it was pretty clear to him that you wouldn't be volunteering to be of assistance. He gave up, and you were just in the way. He had to get rid of you."

I shake my head. Nothing would have changed. He would have overturned the government, just to put himself in power and favour the Moroi and their powers. At least in our system, dhampirs have a role in society. The way Viktor wanted things, we would have been completely disregarded. The Moroi would have been favoured, and we would have lost the rights we've spent centuries fighting for.

I steal Lissa's glass of water, taking a long sip. "What happened to the dhampirs? Viktor's dhampirs, I mean?"

"A lot of them returned home. Some are still in Court, some are actually in therapy, the magic had horrible effects on them." It was a reminder, an awakening: for all the good that Spirit could do, it could have devastating results.

Lissa bursts into helpless sobs, and I immediately move to the other side of the round booth, and wrap my arms around her.

"It's alright," I whisper. "It's all over."

But we both know that's not true.

Adrian is in an even worse condition than he had been in before. Apparently, we've all been suffering the ill effects that Robert's Spirit has had on us, and the darkness has been overwhelming.

No, it wasn't over, and it certainly alright.

But, that was hardly something to point out to Lissa, who was weeping in my arms.

When I finally manage to calm her down, I am desperate to change the subject matter. Lissa beats me to it, turning back into her composed, concerned self.

"Have you been feeling the darkness's effects? Any mood swings? Nightmares?"

I smile, trying to lighten the dark mood. "I'm tired. A lot, actually. I've been sleeping pretty much steady over the past few days."

"It's like we're back at the academy. God, you slept until midday, sometimes." She smiles through her tears.

"Shut up!" I laugh. "Besides, you should have seen Dimitri today. He slept for like, fourteen hours! It was ridiculous!"

Suddenly, her laugh fades, and she takes on a serious demeanor. "He slept... You slept with Dimitri? Last night? Oh my God, Rose-"

I sigh, running my fingers through my hair. "No, Liss, we didn't... well, we did sleep together, but we didn't... have sex or anything. We just... slept." I blushed. I actually blushed. I wasn't comfortable talking about my sex life with anyone, even with my best friend, even though I knew more about her sex life than either one of us would be comfortable with, even if it was unintentional.

"Oh." She sounds almost... disappointed. "Well, have you two at least... reconcilied?"

"I suppose. We haven't really dealt with everything yet, but we're talking, at least."

She smiles. "Good. God knows the two of you could use some human interaction. And you both definitely use some_ action_-"

"Lissa!" I cry, burying my face in my hands, absolutely humiliated.

She just laughs, her old, joyful laugh, one that warms my heart, even if it is at my expense.

"Good God, Lissa!"

She just begins to laugh harder, which triggers me into my own laughing fit, until tears are running down both of our eyes. Not that anything we've said is particularly that funny, but it feels good to laugh.

I have my best friend back.

With at least a general understanding of what has happened, I was able to relax, able to enjoy my time with my friend, without worrying. How long had it been since I had just been able to talk, to gossip, like a normal nineteen-year-old?

Suddenly, I feel an ice cold hand on my shoulder. I jump and spin around, only to see Dimitri's startled expression: his eyes wide, his lips parted. His clothes are soaking wet, his hair dripping. It must be raining outside, I guess, by his appearance.

"Dimitri! You're hands are freezing!"

He instantly pulls them back, away from my shoulder, as if he's been burned. "I'm sorry, Rose! Really, I didn't intend-"

I sigh. Dimitri's starting to pull away again, seeming to be scared that I'll flip out at him for no reason. I suppose with the way our relationship has been the past few months, my behaviour has been a little unpredicatable.

"Hey, it's alright, I'm not mad, you startled me, is all. Take a seat," I encourage. He instantly relaxes, relieved, but shakes his head.

"I don't want to intrude-"

Lissa and I both smile. "You're not intruding, Dimitri," she promises. "Please, sit down. You two were planning on meeting anyways, maybe I should go..."

After a round of fussing and arguing, we all manage to agree to stay where we are, safe from the storm outside. I hold Dimitri's hands under the table, rubbing his palm between mine, trying to bring warmth into his stiff, icy fingers.

We order coffee, a hot chocolate for me, and a few plates of french fries. Even the room has begun to get chilly, and we all end up huddled together at one end of the round booth, trying to keep warm.

That is, until, Lissa's phone rings and she gives us an apologetic smile. "Christian. He wants me to come over."

We wave off her apologies, bid her farewell, and lapse into a not-entirely-comfortable silence after she is gone.

"Well..."

We stare at one another, unknowing what to say. Things have never been this awkward between us, we've always been able to strike up a conversation.

"Lissa and I think that the bond might not have been broken," I offer, desperate for some conversation, even if it forces the solemn mood back into my conversation. "Maybe it's just weak, maybe I'm just weak and unable to use it. For now, at least."

Dimitri nods. "I hope you're right, Roza." He sighs, leans further back into the cushions, his head resting on the back of his seat. "I'm glad you're... back. Awake, I suppose. Lissa was panicking about the bond. She was completely frantic, and I had no idea how to console her. I don't know how many times when you were unconsious that I would have given anything to have you awake. I kept thinking that if you were here, everything would be okay."

I smile, and reach across the table to touch his forearm. "Dimitri, I am here, I'm back, and everything's not 'okay'."

He sighs. "It's a hell of a lot better, though, Rose."

I slide around the circular booth and rest my head on his shoulder. "Things will get better, Dimitri. They have to."

He rests his own temple against the top of my head.

"Dimitri?" I ask, biting my lip.

"Mmm?"

"Can I ask you something?"

He tenses, as if afraid of my question. "Alright..."

"When... when Robert attacked me with Spirit... when he gave me all of those magic-induced nightmares... the last one... where Mason died." Tears threaten to spill from my eyes at the painful memory. "Were you really there? I mean, did Adrian really put you into my dream? Was it really you, or was it my hallucinations?"

I wait several moments for a response. "It was really me, Roza. I looked over at Adrian, just for a moment, but we made eye contact. And suddenly... suddenly you're standing in front of me, sobbing, just like in Spokane." He seems to have to take a moment to compose himself. "Yes, Rose, it was really me."

"You said you loved me," I blurted out, not at all beating around the bush.

Another pause. "Yes. I did."

"Did..." I am nearly gasping for breath. "Did you mean it? Or did you just say it... Just to calm me down? Did you just say it to give me strength?"

This time, there's no pause. He immediately grabs onto my hand, holding it tightly.

"I do. I meant it. I'm so sorry, Roza, that it took almost losing you to realize how much I really did love you. When Viktor…" His eyes filled with tears. "When he was trying to kill you… Rose, I thought I was going to lose you. I have never been so scared."

He brings my knuckles to his lips, lingering there. "Rose, I've taken you for granted. I've always just assumed that you were going to be there, that when I was ready for a relationship, you'd be waiting. I was wrong, Rose. I was wrong, and it almost caused me to lose you forever. I don't think I could have done this, could have survived the past days without you."

Taking a deep breath, I nod. "Dimitri, I know. I understand. But you have to start opening up to me. You have to trust me, completely and totally. I know that your afraid, afraid to really be vulnerable again. But you have to do this. If you can't," I sigh shakily. "If you can't, then we... we can't do this. We can't be together. I'm sorry, Dimitri. I love you, but I can't go through this again."

He nods.

"I know, Rose. I know. I just... I..." He squeezed his eyes shut, burying his face in his hands. "I'm trying," he whispers.

Hands shaking, I reach out, gently stroking the back of his head. "I know you are. Just... I need to know if you can really do this. I need to know that _we _can do this."

His head lifts, and I brush the tears from his face. My phone vibrates in my pocket, and I break away, reading the message. It's from Lissa.

"I need to go. Lissa-"

He nods sharply, his face slipping back into a neutral position - his guardian mask.

"I understand. Go."

Hating to leave him, but knowing he needed time, I slip away from the booth. "I'll see you later, okay?"

"Okay, Roza."

* * *

**What, you didn't think that it would just be fluff from here on out, did you? I couldn't resist a little more Dimitri/Rose angst. **

**Don't worry, it'll all be over soon. Very, very soon. Like, now. :) **

**By the way, I'm thinking about starting a new story, but _cannot _decide what I'm doing for a plot. I was thinking Dimitri's POV, with a lot of angst... maybe? Can anyone offer me any ideas or advice?**

**PM me or just review, I'm desperate!**

**Thanks!**

**-PRG**


	41. Adrian

**Quick message!**

**I've recently been informed that a user on the site _Wattpad _has stolen my story. They posted _Promise Bound _as their own work, and were given no permission to use this fanfiction, nor did this person mention that I was the author. This story was posted under the SAME title, the SAME story, as well as the SAME _chapter _title.**

**I've contacted this person, though I doubt he/she will reply, and have posted a comment informing _Wattpad _on their page.**

**Please, any other users, is there anything else I can do to make sure this story is taken _off _Wattpad? I'm new at Wattpad, but am extremely upset to learn that this person has stolen my story! I'm not here to rant and rave about the "injustice of it all", I'm simply asking someone, anyone, to help me out, and aid me in seeing that my work doesn't continue to be abused.**

**Please?**

**This is the link to my story, Promise Bound(without the spaces):www. fanfiction .net/s/6008819/1/Promise_Bound**

**And this is the link to the copied work(without the spaces): www. wattpad .com/625066-promise-bound?p=1**

* * *

I slam my fist against the door, still tense from my conversation with Dimitri.

"Lissa! Liss, open the door! Lissa-"

The door swings open, and Lissa doesn't even greet me, doesn't even look at me, really, before grabbing me by my wrist and dragging me out of the doorway, into the hallway.

"Lissa, _what _is going on? Where are we going? Why did you call me, Liss, I was talking to Dimitri-"

"It's Adrian."

That's all I have to hear.

I follow.

When Lissa pulls me into the infirmary, my heart sinks, my pulse pounds. Adrian's in the infirmary.

"I got the call this morning," Lissa explains, her voice cracking. "Rose, I don't know how much more of this I can take. I don't know how much more _we _can take, all of us. After everything that everyone's been through..."

I want to protest, _beg _her to tell me what has happened to Adrian, but before I can voice my pleas, Lissa drags me into a hospital room. It's large, a private room - only the best for the nephew of the late Queen.

Adrian is laying in the bed, looking deathly pale, his forehead bright with perspiration. His eyes are bloodshot, dragged down by heavy dark circles. He is attatched to two IV's - one filled with some unknown fluids, and one filled with blood.

He looks like he's on the border of death.

"Adrian?" I whisper, overwhelmed by the very sight of him. His deep green eyes are dull, and his smile doesn't penetrate the surface of his skin. "God, sweetheart, how are you feeling? What happened to you?"

He doesn't move, he's completely lifeless. "Alcohol poisoning. I spent a little too much time at the bar this week..."

Both Lissa and I sigh - of course. I sit at his bedside, and take his cold, frail hand. "Adrian, you have to stop this. You're going to kill yourself. And how the hell do you think I'm going to live without you?"

Giving a weak smile, Adrian blinks tiredly, tears welling in his eyes. He grips my hand tightly, trembling. "Rose, I see it. I see it, over and over, it keeps playing in my head. I can't let it go. It's there... it's always there..."

Lissa and I share a worried glance over Adrian's current lapse of sanity. "What's always there, Honey?" I ask, trying to keep from upsetting him further.

"My thoughts!" he cries, throwing his hands up in exasperation. "He's always there! Torturing me, making me see things, horrible things. Only the alcohol keeps them away, Rose. I have to drown them! I have to drown _him!_"

"Him?" I say gently. "Who's him? Viktor?"

Tearfully, Adrian nods.

"Adrian, he's not really there. You don't have to... _drown _him. You've been overrun by magic, Adrian, and you're suffering from the darkness."

"But I do!" Adrian yelled, sitting up sharply in his bed. "I _do!_ He's always there, he's always watching me! He tries to kill me! He'll come for me, he'll kill me!

Oh God, he's gone completely mad. "Adrian, Honey, it won't matter unless you kill yourself, first-"

Suddenly, three nurses rush in after Adrian's fit, and begin immediately assessing him. "I think you should leave," one says to us, a bite in her voice.

"No!" Adrian screams. "No! He'll come for me! He'll kill me!"

Adrian begins to struggle, flailing his arms about, trying to knock away nurses who are attempting to sedate him.

"He needs anti-depressants!" Lissa cries over the commotion. "He needs to be cut off from the magic. His own darkness it just making things worse, he has to be able to deal with Robert's magic seperately!"

She sets off to find a doctor, while I watch as Adrian is pinned onto the hospital bed, and quickly sedated. Tears spill from my eyes in rivers, soaking my skin and blurring my vison. Adrian...

"Roza?" comes a whisper from the doorway, and I fling myself into Dimitri's arms, sobbing helplessly. Despite our earlier angst, Dimitri wraps his arms around me. Our roles have reversed, and he is comforting me in my time of need.

Dimitri gently walks me away from the doorway, where the doctor enters, followed by a determined Lissa. He's a middle-aged man, a Moroi, with a hard, cold expression.

"Please! I've been through this! Doctor Olen-"

The man huffs, pushing his round glasses up his nose. "Look, I don't know what your _school nurse _told you, but I will not prescribe to such medication without doing a few more tests-"

"No!" Lissa cries! "He'll only get worse! He needs them _now_!"

The Doctor brushes her aside, moving to Adrian's bedside an assessing his charts. His neglectance only makes me cry harder - Adrian needed immediate action, or else he could completely lose his mind, just like Robert had.

But Lissa, ever-determined, didn't stop.

"Listen-!" Her eyes are blazing with fury, and even without the bond, I can tell she is conjuring up her magic, her compulsion.

"Lissa! Don't do this, Liss, you can't handle any more magic!"

Her eyes are flooded with tears, as are mine, but I can't let her sacrifice herself. Not like this.

Suddenly, Adrian begins to scream, fighting and clawing at the nurses around him. I sob, and collapse into Dimitri's arms, burying my face into his chest, although I can still hear his cries of terror.

Dimitri grips my forearms, turning me towards Lissa, into her arms. We both watch as Dimitri stalks over to the doctor, grabs him by the front of his white coat, and drags him out of the door.

Oh God, where was he going?

Lissa and I cling onto each other, sobbing. Adrian continues to cry out, yelling and thrashing about on his bed, screaming for someone - anyone.

Just when I think I will collapse from the grief, the doctor reenters, looking pale, even for a Moroi. He glares at Dimitri, who has entered behind him.

"We'll start him on anti-depressants immediately."

Dimitri nods, before pulling both Lissa and I out of the hospital room, and into the waiting area. Lissa immediately begins to dial for Christian.

"Dimitri," I whisper. "What did you say to him? He wouldn't even _listen _to Lissa. How did you...?"

He smiles, and sits in one of the vinyl chairs, pulling me into his arms.

"I just _suggested _that the Royal community might be upset that instead of being treated, he was just being sedated. I also promised that I'd be the one to tell them, if he wasn't treated immediately."

"You threatened him?" I asked, trying to suppress my amusement.

"Not _threatened. _It was more of a warning..." He presses his lips against my temple, just holding me.

I bury my face into his chest, letting my tears fall. "Thank you for doing that for him. You have no idea how much it means to me."

"I do, Roza. I know you can't live without him. He's a good man. He doesn't deserve to live like that."

I nod, wrapping my arms around his neck. I'm now sitting fully in his lap. leaning my head against his chest. We're so absorbed in each other that we almost don't notice as the door opens, and Christian enters.

Lissa immediately jumps into his arms, wrapping her arms and legs around him. His eyes go wide, but he just complies, folding his arms under her and whispering into her ear.

"How is Adrian?" he asks, looking quite gaunt himself. We fill him in on Adrian's condition, and then the four of us collapse into the chairs. Hours pass, and we end up practically camping in the tiny waiting room, sitting cross-legged on the floor, sipping coffee, reminiscing of days at the academy, of our school years, of training.

We share stories of Lissa and I's first meeting, of training days with Dimitri, of the people Christian's threatened to light on fire. We wait to hear from the doctors and nurses, but as the hours pass, we assume that everything is fine, or has gone terribly wrong.

When visiting hours finally end, we all head back to Adrian's room, desperate to see how he is, but we're stopped by a nurse.

"Visiting hours are over. You can visit Lord Ivashkov tomorrow."

"Please," I beg. "How is he?"

The nurse clenches her jaw, but looks down at her chart. "He's sleeping now. He responded well to the anti-depressants, and sedation wasn't needed. He just needs to rest."

We nod, thankful for the small bit of information we're given, and depart the hospital. Christian vows to stay with Lissa tonight, and Dimitri follows me back to my room.

I dig my keys out of my purse, Dimitri's warm hand on my shoulder. He allows me to pull him gently by the wrist into my room, following loyally. He waits for me to remove his coat, then does the same for me, bringing me to the bed and pulling off my shoes. He presses his thumbs against the balls of my feet momentarily, then kisses my forehead, tucking me into bed.

"Adrian will be fine." Tucking the covers over me, he straightens the sheets, before gently rising. "Do you need anything?" he asks, his forefinger hovering over the lightswitch.

"You," I whisper, stretching my arms out towards him. Kind of a desperate move, but then again, I'm desperate for comfort.

With a sigh, Dimitri removes his own shoes before crawling into bed with me, wrapping his arms around my waist, pulling my back to his chest.

"I'll be here when you wake up. Sleep, Roza."

I comply.

* * *

True to his word, Dimitri laying beside me when I wake. We lay in bed for several more minutes, just staring at each other, neither of us speaking.

Finally, I say, "Good morning."

He smiles, leaning forward to press his lips against my temple. "Do you want anything for breakfast?"

Shaking my head, I can honestly say I'm not hungry. "No."

"How are you feeling?"

Oh, Dimitri. Always a worrier, always taking care of me.

"I'm feeling better. You?"

"Good," he whispers, smiling. "Rose, I don't know when you'll be up to it, but... we still need to talk. About us."

"Not right now," I say, reaching out to brush the strands of hair away from his face.

We just lay together, neither of us touching, neither of us talking.

What seems like an eternity passes, but that comfortable feeling has began to return, the one where the silences aren't awkward or unsure. And here I'd thought it had faded forever. I suppose some things never fade. Not forever, at least.

"Have you heard from Lissa?" I ask, breaking our silence.

He shakes his head. "No, I'd suspect she's still sleeping. You two went through a lot yesterday."

"Thank you," I murmur. "Thank you, again, for what you did for Adrian."

"Of course, Roza, you know I love you."

My throat suddenly closes up, my eyes fill with tears. "I know, Dimitri. I love you too."

"Can we... talk now?"

I nod, knowing there's no way to avoid this. "Yes. I think it's time we did."

...

We sit in the cramped living room, sitting across from each other, avoiding all eye contact.

Deciding this is getting us no where, I start. "Dimitri..."

"I was scared," he whispers, staring out of the window, his eyes watching as the heavy drops hit the glass and splatter, falling down towards the pane. "I was scared of losing you again. I thought that you'd leave, and if I'd let myself depend on you, I'd completely fall apart when you left me again."

I'm curled up defensively, my legs tucked underneath me, hands in my lap. "You left me too, Dimitri. You completely abandoned me when I needed you the most. I thought I'd lost you forever, I _needed _you, and you just pushed me away. You told the Guardians that I wasn't _allowed _to see you, and you avoided me for months."

"I know," he murmurs. "I know. I've ruined everything."

"No, Dimitri, this was my fault, too. I ran. I was the one who ran away. You weren't the only one who screwed up."

"Why, Rose?" he chokes. "Why did you run?"

I wipe my eyes before any more tears can escape. I've cried enough the past few weeks. "Because... God, I ran away for so many reasons. I was hurt, Dimitri. I was jealous. I had trecked through Russia, had given up _everything, _and then Lissa showed up at the last minute and you _worshipped _the ground she walked on. It was like I was being replaced. It's silly, but I just felt... disposable."

"Roza-"

"Please," I beg. "Please, Dimitri I need to finish this. Please, let me get this out."

He hesitates, but nods.

"I was hurt and jealous and... _desperate. _It's like... like when Lissa cut her wrists. I was so _desperate _for an escape, a way out, that I went to extreme methods. I had _just _been declared innocent, I was scared and felt alone. It was stupid, and we should have had this conversation a long time ago. But I felt like you'd never even acknowledge me. I thought you didn't care. So... I ran."

He nods, as if finally understanding, although I'm not sure he truly does.

"I do care, Rose. I fell apart when you left!"

"Dimitri," I beg. "Please, I know what I did was wrong, but I'm asking for forgiveness. Can you, can _we, _move past this?"

He nods, kneeling in front of me, holding my hands in his own. "Yes, Roza, of course. I should be the one asking forgiveness, I-"

"And I forgive you," I say, with a small smile. "It's over, Dimitri. It's over. It's not going to be easy, but we have to try, right?"

He slides onto the couch beside me, wrapping his arms around my shoulders.

"We'll do more than try."

* * *

**Corny ending, but it's not over yet. Don't worry!**


	42. Easy

**A quick message!**

**Recently, someone had posted my work on another site and they were claiming it as their own. I mentioned it my last chapter, hoping that someone could give me some advice on how to report this person. But, to my surprise, I received a flood of support from people both on this site, and the other. **

**I cannot believe how many people responsed to this, and I can happily say this story was removed from the site. **

**I'm glad this ordeal is over, and I really would appreciate if the matter was forgotten. The story has been removed, and there is no longer any reason to contact this person or leave comments on their other stories. **

**I really do appreciate your determination to get this story off of the site, but I hope we can forgive and forget. After all, why spend our time dwelling on something like this when there's so many fantasic fanfictions out there to read? :D**

**A special thanks to ELFINA01 for informing me, and the person that contacted _her _about this. **

**Thank you so much!**

**Love, PRG**

* * *

It's not over.

Often times, in the dark of the night, I can hear his whimpers, feel his body jerk and shake. I can hear as the air rushes into his lungs in a gasp, as he flings himself up in bed. Unsure of whether or not I should acknowledge that I'm awake, Dimitri takes the ignitiative, and gently nudges my arm with subtle desperation.

"Roza? Roza, please, wake up. Please, Rose."

I don't hesitate to roll over, pull him into my arms, let him rest his head on my chest as I try to lull him back to sleep, although both of us know it's not going to happen.

Odd, how I've lived without him for these past couple of years. Now it seems we are almost one, needing each other like the oxygen we breathe. It's either one of us or the other that awakes with horrid nightmares. Dimitri dreams of strigoi, while I always see what Robert had forced upon me - my friends and family dying, or worse. Robert's most effective weapon was to target my loved ones, even if they existed inside my subconsious.

Tonight, it's me. Tonight, I'm the one having terrible nightmares, I'm the one clinging onto Dimitri, buried into his chest, with his arms around me, sobbing as I see Mason die, as I see Dimitri bitten, as I see my own hideous death, every night, in my dreams.

It's not over.

And sometimes, I fear it never will be. Things have gotten better, there's no denying that, but there are still far from normal. Not that I could even begin to describe normal anymore.

Dimitri had onced joked that I would be bored with consistancy, with a relaxing environment. Perhaps, a long time ago, I would have been. Now, I crave normalacy, long for the times when my biggest problems in life were rumours in high school, yearn for the times when my biggest fear was strigoi.

Time passes, and we heal, slowly, but surely. The nightmares don't happen as often, and when they do occur, they aren't usually as violent or vivid as they once were, and we begin to realize that that's all they will be now. Nightmares.

Adrian, after being treated with anti-depressents, has drastically improved. He still drinks, and no doubt he still is pained by the memories, but he is forced to fight the bitter demons of Robert's magic, not his own anymore. I know he misses it, the magic, but knows enough to give himself time.

Jill, now seventeen, has been spending a great deal of time with him. Now living and receiving her schooling in Court, Jill, it seems, has made it her mission to reintegrate Adrian back into the society of Royals. She's the illegitamate child of Eric Dragomir, but her kind and bubbly personality has earned her a position in some of the Royals good graces, and she seems to be pulling Adrian along with her.

I see them, once in a while, in the gardens, or sharing a drink at the bar. I even run into them once, and pretend I don't see their interlocked hands.

Lissa's been running herself ragged, bustling around Court, working far too much and resting far too little, but she adores it. She can practically see the change happening before her eyes, as more and more people join the fight for Moroi to battle the strigoi.

The bond has slowly, very slowly, made it's appearance once more. It's brittle, and seems to have greatly faded, but it's becoming more and more strengthened over time. We don't call on it often, it's nice to be able to live our own lives. I don't have to worry about slipping into her head, and Lissa is content with having her own private thoughts.

My parents have both taken it upon themselves to ensure I'm still able to function on my own. I spent the first eighteen years of my life without them, and now barely a day goes by that I don't hear from them one way or another. Even Dimitri's family contacts me, calling me to talk to Dimitri, or just me. Olena often tells me she's proud of me, that she loves me, that she is thrilled that me and Dimitri have worked things out.

Everyone seems to be, and I receive constant emails from Karolina, Sonya, Viktoria, and even Yeva. Who knew she even knew how to use the internet, I figured she would have stuck to sending telepathic messages. Nevertheless, it puts a smile on my face every time I receive a story about Paul, or a picture of the babies.

Sometimes, with so many people so close to me, it's easy to forget about Viktor.

* * *

Dimitri and I are currently in the apartment's kitchen, making dinner. We don't speak, but the silence is warm, comfortable, and familiar. I'm chopping up vegetables when I suddenly feel arms slide under my arms, wrapping around my waist. I move the knife out of the way, only to have Dimitri steal a stalk of celery and move away.

I swat at his hands, and he chuckles. "I don't believe I've been scolded for stealing food like that since I lived at home."

Laughing, I shake my head, and empty the contents of the cutting-board into the boiling water. "Speaking of, have you called Olena back? She phoned yesterday. Apparently, even Russia heard about the events of _that night. _She's worried about you."

He sighs, and gives a tired half-smile. "My Mother always worries."

"She kind of has a reason, Sweetheart." Although it's a sarcastic nickname, he doesn't seem to mind, and wraps his arms around my waist, resting his cheek on my back.

"I suppose. I've given her enough to worry about, these past couple of years."

Suddenly, someone is knocking on the door: our guests have arrived. To my surprise, it's Adrian. I embrace him, assessing his appearance. He looks so much better, so much healthier. His skin is no longer transluscent, and the dark circles under his eyes have almost entirely disappeared.

"Adrian! How are you? Where's Jill?" I tease, but only half-joking.

He smiles, his hands shoved into his pockets. "She's at her parents house. We decided that it would best if I didn't join her."

"_We?" _I ask, raising a brow. An awkward smile breaks onto his face.

"Well, I did... I've never met a girl's parents before!"

"A girl you _like?_" I don't back down, challenge him, trying to keep the smirk from my face.

"So... can I come in?"

I laugh and gesture grandly, letting him into the apartment. The whole space is filled with aromas of a rich meal, one we've spent days preparing for.

Dimitri comes out of the kitchen, wearing his only dress outfit - a classic black knit sweater and trousers. He warmly shakes Adrian's hand.

"Hello, Adrian. Can I get you a drink?"

I hold my breath, but relief floods through me as I hear him request, "Coffee, would be great."

Once again, someone pounds on the door, and Lissa and Christian step through the door, toting a pumpkin pie.

"Rose!" Lissa wraps her arms around me, and Christian shakes Dimitri's hand, before they switch, Christian kissing my temple and giving my hair a gentle tug.

Our tiny apartment is now bustling, and we herd everyone over to the dining room, each taking a seat. Dimitri is rubbing my knee under the table, the men drinking coffee, both Lissa and I nursing glasses of red wine.

Since we're all without family, or family that we can stand to be around, we're all able to be together during the holidays. It goes uninterrupted, until Adrian receives a phone call.

He blushes, actually _blushes, _and excuses himself from the table. "Who is it Adrian?" Christian calls to him. "Is it Jill? Tell her I say hi!"

We all have a good time, calling and jesting, until Adrian reenters the room and pleads for us to stop with a desperate look.

"Yes. Okay. Alright. Happy Thanksgiving, Jill." Suddenly, he shoots us a glance, turning and cradling the phone against his ear. "See you Saturday."

He sits back down at the table, pretending he doesn't notice our stairs.

"So..."

"Shut up, Christian."

"Aww, Adrian," I coo. "I think it's great. Jill's adorable!"

"And God knows you've never been shy about women before..." Dimitri adds, a smile on his lips. But we all know Jill is different.

Quickly, his shyness fades, and the old Adrian is back. "You're might. Maybe I need a bit more practice; get back in the swing of things." He gives a rather flamboyant wink in my direction, just to get under Dimitri's skin. Luckily for me, now that we're together, Dimitri isn't the jealous type, but he does make a rather big show of wrapping a protective arm around my shoulders, much to everyone's amusement.

This, this is what I've longed for in the last few years. Normalacy. A nice, quite dinner with the people who are practically my family. There's no burdens hanging over our head. No danger, no distance. We're dependant on each other.

God knows we've been through enough together.

Dinner goes off flawlessly, and nothing was burned or ruined or dropped onto the floor. After we've all eaten, we move into the living room, rather, the space in the apartment that holds a sofa and armchair. Adrian lounges on the sofa next to Lissa and Christian, while Dimitri and I share the armchair. Well, Dimitri sits on the armchair - I sit on Dimitri.

In times like these - it's easy to forget. Easy to forget the memories that plague us, easy to forget those we've lost.

* * *

I'm up to my elbows in dishwater, trying to avoid splashing my dress. I'm nearly finished the plates when I feel his hands on my hips.

"Dimitri, are you going to let me finish washing up?"

He leans against me, pressing his lips against my shoulder, wrapping his strong arms around my waist. "I just finished cleaning the dining room, the extra food is in the fridge."

"Thank you," I say sweetly, and turn my head, just enough to press a kiss to his forehead with the side of my lips. "Happy Thanksgiving."

He smiles. "Happy Thanksgiving. It's still a silly holiday."

This was the first Thanksgiving that Dimitri had really celebrated, and he still never ceased to stop teasing me about it.

"It's not a silly holiday! It's a good idea, to take the time to be thankful for the things you may take for granted!"

"Why can't I be thankful for these things every day of the year? I don't need a specified day to be thankful..."

"Well, I'm thankful to be alive, to be well, that my friends are healing and healthy. I'm thankful that you're with me."

Dimitri brushes his head from side to side, tickling my back. "I'm thankful for you..."

I laugh. "Is that it? That's all your thankful for?"

Shrugging, he laughs as well, kissing up my neck. "I'm thankful that you saved my life, that you saved my soul, that you made me _live, _that you like my family, that you love me. But it seems ridiculous that I'd have to pinpoint a certain day to tell you."

"Well, without Thanksgiving Day, we wouldn't be having this conversation..."

I can feel Dimitri's frown against my skin. "Touche."

I can't help but laugh once more. "You know I love you, right?"

"Yes. You know I love you more, right?"

Easy, light-hearted banter, like a real couple, like a normal couple. Like two people who aren't plagued by horrible memories. It's easy to forget, when I have someone that allows me to be so dependent on him. It's easy to forget, when I take care of him, when he is so dependent on me.

"How long did it take you to fall asleep after your nightmare, last night."

He shrugs. "Not long. Thank you for rubbing my back, by the way."

I smile, straining even higher than the length of my heels, folding my arms around his neck, pressing my lips against his own.

"It's no problem at all."

Yes, it's easy to forget, but it's remembering that's hard.

* * *

**So, I guess it's over! And as _glad _as I am to finally get this story over with, I think I might miss it. **

**Well, right now, I'm thinking about writing a shorter story for VA, one that definitely won't be 42 chapters ;D**

**I was thinking an angsty type of fic, a Rose/Dimitri (of course). So far, I've got the first chapter, but want to know if anyone's interested.**

**Here's the summary so far, as it may be up for editing:**

_**After he's saved, Dimitri disappears entirely, fading from everyone's minds over the course of several years. But suddenly, he's back at Court, and he needs Rose now more than ever. But although Rose tries to help him, she knows he's hiding something... something big.**_

**Well, that's about it! Thank you to everyone who is reading/has ever read this fic, and a _huge _thanks to everyone who's reviewed!**


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